God knits each of us together in a unique and individual way. Praise God, we are each ‘fearfully and wonderfully made’ by our perfect Creator! (Psalm 139:13-14). In a fallen world, this means of course that a person’s experience of same-sex temptations will be – at least to some degree – unique to them. Inevitably, then, there is no ‘one size fits all’ approach to supporting people.
Being in an accountability relationship has been a source of great blessing in my life and, therefore, writing an article on the topic is a positive step forward for me. I am aware, though, that this subject is not always one that is met by others with the enthusiasm I view it.
Clearly, love and commitment are virtues and so it is tempting to see a loving, committed same-sex partnership as a godly relationship, particularly when compared against unloving or unfaithful partnerships of opposite-sex couples. However, the Bible is clear that a same-sex partnership is by its essence outside of God's creation plan that a marriage be limited to the union of one man and one woman (Gen 2:21-24). The Bible lists no exceptions to this model based on the depth of the love, the quality of the relationship or the level of commitment.
About a year ago, I confessed my struggle with same-sex desires to a couple of my friends. I acknowledged that I could not fight this battle alone. I had tried unsuccessfully for nearly 25 years. If I was going to be victorious, I needed someone to come alongside me and help me. My two friends were very loving and gracious as I unburdened myself to them. That night, I installed an accountability app on my phone and my friend, Roger, became my accountability partner. We never made any kind of formal commitment to help each other. Nor did we discuss what accountability should look like.
On 12th May, the Lord willing, I will celebrate my twenty-fifth birthday. Before anyone retorts that I haven’t aged too well, I mean the anniversary of my being born again. The day God graciously “rescued [me] from the dominion of darkness and brought [me] into the kingdom of the Son he loves” (Colossians 1:13).