Do you want to change your sexual orientation?

A well-meaning Christian friend recently put this question to me and I confess that it made me quite angry. I was surprised by the strength of my reaction and have spent some time subsequently reflecting both on the question and my response to it.

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by Stefan, June 2008

Brian
Brian's picture
Consider the question

Perhaps I'm too simple, but I really just cannopt easily separate these points out! I am me and what society gets, God, "a more Biblical understanding of who I am in Christ"[?] and fellow Christians get as well. I know that my "orientation" was towards men; I enjoyed their company, wanted a relationship and wanted their love. Oh yes, but was this physical or was I, simplyfying it somewhat, so hungry for the relationship with a man, my father, that I never had? I can now see, in hindsight, that it was in being given this challenging thought that restrained me from "going over the edge" physically, not that the desire and oportuniity wasn't so often there! Had I not given my life to Jesus as a child, I dread to think where I would be now.

In the latter part of my life, as I discovered that I must focus on Jesus and that He is truly the only answer to everything, so I have been able to hand over the SSA for absolute healing, which for me became unquestionable possible. The direction, sorting out my early childhood, was initially clarified as being the area that needed "cleansing", but it was the "process" that confused me. Initially, an anglican vicar took me through a fairly regimented, two evening, "inner healing" formatt but, "Your ways are not my ways" and I knew it wasn't, by any means complete. I then beseeched Jesus to move in and have His way with me so that, as I felt, I might become a more "whole" person for Him. So over the next few years He did. It was costly; "weeping bitterly", repentance, and discovering real love, but through the jumble of painful emotions I knew something was happening and I clung to Him. I'm not completely sure how but the conference "sweeked the tail" of the orientation "episode": most of my life!, and I can now say I am truly healed and satan's trip wires are becoming ineffective as I put my trust totally in Him. As I write, I suppose this has provided another learning curve. As a little child I learnt to trust only myself, now..........!            Brian

B R I A N.

In His Image
Thank you

Thanks Brian, I find this really encouraging. 

Especially, and I quote:-

"I then beseeched Jesus to move in and have His way with me so that, as I felt, I might become amore "whole" person for Him. So over the next few years He did. It was costly; "weeping bitterly", repentance, and discovering real love, but through the jumble of painful emotions I knew something was happening and I clung to Him."

Godbless

Tony M

Live the Life...John 10:10

Shane Ball
Shane Ball's picture
Enjoyed it

I really enjoyed this article as it helped solidify my own thoughts and feelings on this question. I thought for many years that the goal was change in attraction/orientation and since I did not receive it despite many meetings with preachers or times crying at the alter, I completely gave up.

This quote answers it for me:

Your life journey and mine are, in contrast, about on-going transformation, growing freedom in Christ until heaven when we will experience full liberation from all the stresses and strains of this life.

I had to grieve the loss of my hope for a changed orientation and accept that I may never experience that until I get to heaven. Can He? Yes, I believe He can, but will He? I dunno but as this article states, it is no longer my concentration or focus. I do, at times, experience sadness around my straight friends and couples as they talk about relationships, etc, but I try to reorient myself to living my life as God would have it.
Taking a risk of sounding cliche, I see my SSA similar to an addiction (alcohol, drugs, gambing, eating disorder, etc) and I didn't check the box saying that I wanted to have SSA just as much as an addict or alcohol did but it is part of their human experience. Addicts/alcoholics have to alter their lives around their addiction/compulsive behaviors just as much as I get to alter my behavior around my SSA.
I don't believe that SSA was God's original intent for me. Once sin entered this world, our physical, mental, emotional, spiritual, and sexual makeup started to deteriorate/die despite our it's original design for eternal existance. I have come to believe that our sexuality has deteriorated thus giving way to homosoexual, bisexual, transgender, transexual, etc people which is part of our fallen state. I don't want to debate nature vs nuture or if we were born this way, however, I just want to say that I think I was because of my human experience/existance at this moment.
Consider someone born with a terminal illness or developing one throughout his/her life as I am sure no one chose cancer but despite some people believing and begging for healing, some do not experience it. Can it be considered a 'thorn in the flesh' - YES. I can freely and unashamedly say that my SSA is my 'thorn in the flesh' and God's grace is sufficient.
It was a difficult journey to arrive at this place in my life that a celibate lifestyle is probably going to be a life-long journey and I am ok with that b/c God is ok. I have sad days but the good far out number the bad.
I like how it was said that we are in an oversexualized society/world but I would also like to include that we are in a coupled/relationship oriented society and living celibate doesn't come without moments of loneliness. The joy for me is that they don't last long.

This is my two cents and excitement for this artile.

In humility,

-sb

Gratefully Yours, 

- Shane