Accountability https://truefreedomtrust.co.uk/ en Finding rest from anxious thoughts https://truefreedomtrust.co.uk/finding-rest-anxious-thoughts <!-- THEME DEBUG --> <!-- THEME HOOK: 'field' --> <!-- FILE NAME SUGGESTIONS: * field--node--title--article.html.twig x field--node--title.html.twig * field--node--article.html.twig * field--title.html.twig * field--string.html.twig * field.html.twig --> <!-- BEGIN OUTPUT from 'core/modules/node/templates/field--node--title.html.twig' --> <span property="schema:name">Finding rest from anxious thoughts</span> <!-- END OUTPUT from 'core/modules/node/templates/field--node--title.html.twig' --> <!-- THEME DEBUG --> <!-- THEME HOOK: 'field' --> <!-- FILE NAME SUGGESTIONS: * field--node--field-image--article.html.twig * field--node--field-image.html.twig * field--node--article.html.twig * field--field-image.html.twig * field--image.html.twig x field.html.twig --> <!-- BEGIN OUTPUT from 'themes/custom/gavias_charityplus/templates/field.html.twig' --> <div class="field field--name-field-image field--type-image field--label-hidden field__item"> <!-- THEME DEBUG --> <!-- THEME HOOK: 'image_formatter' --> <!-- BEGIN OUTPUT from 'themes/custom/gavias_charityplus/templates/fields/image-formatter.html.twig' --> <div class="item-image"> <!-- THEME DEBUG --> <!-- THEME HOOK: 'image' --> <!-- BEGIN OUTPUT from 'core/modules/system/templates/image.html.twig' --> <img property="schema:image" loading="lazy" src="/sites/default/files/articles/finding%20rest%20from%20anxious%201170%20x%20330.png" alt="family reading the bible" typeof="foaf:Image" /> <!-- END OUTPUT from 'core/modules/system/templates/image.html.twig' --> </div> <!-- END OUTPUT from 'themes/custom/gavias_charityplus/templates/fields/image-formatter.html.twig' --> </div> <!-- END OUTPUT from 'themes/custom/gavias_charityplus/templates/field.html.twig' --> <!-- THEME DEBUG --> <!-- THEME HOOK: 'field' --> <!-- FILE NAME SUGGESTIONS: * field--node--uid--article.html.twig x field--node--uid.html.twig * field--node--article.html.twig * field--uid.html.twig * field--entity-reference.html.twig * field.html.twig --> <!-- BEGIN OUTPUT from 'core/modules/node/templates/field--node--uid.html.twig' --> <span rel="schema:author"> <!-- THEME DEBUG --> <!-- THEME HOOK: 'username' --> <!-- BEGIN OUTPUT from 'core/modules/user/templates/username.html.twig' --> <span lang="" about="/user/92" typeof="schema:Person" property="schema:name" datatype="">Owen</span> <!-- END OUTPUT from 'core/modules/user/templates/username.html.twig' --> </span> <!-- END OUTPUT from 'core/modules/node/templates/field--node--uid.html.twig' --> <!-- THEME DEBUG --> <!-- THEME HOOK: 'field' --> <!-- FILE NAME SUGGESTIONS: * field--node--created--article.html.twig x field--node--created.html.twig * field--node--article.html.twig * field--created.html.twig * field--created.html.twig * field.html.twig --> <!-- BEGIN OUTPUT from 'core/modules/node/templates/field--node--created.html.twig' --> <span property="schema:dateCreated" content="2024-06-03T13:07:03+00:00">Mon, 03/06/2024 - 14:07</span> <!-- END OUTPUT from 'core/modules/node/templates/field--node--created.html.twig' --> <!-- THEME DEBUG --> <!-- THEME HOOK: 'field' --> <!-- FILE NAME SUGGESTIONS: * field--node--body--article.html.twig * field--node--body.html.twig * field--node--article.html.twig * field--body.html.twig * field--text-with-summary.html.twig x field.html.twig --> <!-- BEGIN OUTPUT from 'themes/custom/gavias_charityplus/templates/field.html.twig' --> <div property="schema:text" class="field field--name-body field--type-text-with-summary field--label-hidden field__item"> <p>I was privileged enough to be born to Christian parents. They both are brilliant parents and brought me up in the faith. My father would read the Bible to me and my brothers every night, right until the end of primary school. I owe a large amount of my Bible knowledge to him and my mother. This knowledge has been really helpful as I have learned to deal with same-sex attractions (SSA), so I am incredibly thankful to my father for that.</p> <p>I remember my parents leading me in a very simple sinner’s prayer when I was about 6. Even though I maybe didn’t understand everything that was involved in being a Christian, I believe God honoured my prayer and has been in relationship with me ever since. As a result, my relationship with God did not start with a single defining moment of salvation. My testimony will therefore be more a story of how I grew in my Christian faith.</p> <p> </p><div class="widget gsc-quote-text no-border" style="background:#59adc4;">&#13; <div class="widget-content">&#13; <div class="content" style="color:#fff;"><i style="color:#fff;" class="icon fa fa-quote-left"></i> OCD is not something you can combat on your own </div>&#13; </div>&#13; </div> &#13; <h3>About SSA in my Life</h3> <p>As a kid, I was much more interested in creative things, such as art and music, rather than the stereotypical things that boys enjoy, such as sport. However, all my crushes during my primary school years were on girls and not guys. I did have one or two intense friendships with guys, which were probably early signs of SSA. Like many pre-teen boys (I suspect), I had a lingering fear that I might grow up to be gay.</p> <p>I started experiencing SSA during puberty. I remember the first time I had an attraction to a boy. It was about 2 days before my 14th birthday. It completely freaked me out and, for some reason, I told my parents about my fear of being gay. I don’t think they really believed me though. I think they thought it was just a phase I was going through and that I did not really understand what it meant to be gay. We had a chat and they calmed me down. I remember believing that it would go away after a while.</p> <p>As you might expect, the SSA did not diminish. I cannot remember much about my early high school, but I do remember a lot of anxiety - especially regarding my sexuality. I was petrified that people would find out and so I kept it to myself and tried pretending to be straight. However, not dealing very well with my new experience, led to unhealthy ways of coping. I wish I had reached out for help sooner, but I was so ashamed of my feelings that I preferred to suffer alone and pretend that everything was fine. </p> <p>I was convinced that the fact that I experienced same-sex feelings was in itself a sin against God and I needed to somehow stop these attractions. I did not understand the difference between a temptation and a sin. I thought that experiencing an attraction to a guy was in itself a sin, like stealing is a sin. This led to an almost constant state of guilt and shame, since I could control who I was attracted to. (See towards the end of the article for the difference between sin and temptation.)</p> <p>All this came to a head around the time my grandmother died when I was 16. Since I had already learned to suppress my feelings, my family thought I was OK. In the two years that I had been experiencing SSA, I had learned to cope with my emotions through a form of Obsessive Compulsive Disorder (OCD). To deal with the shame and guilt, I would “confess my sins” non-stop, over and over again, until the bad feeling went away.  This might seem like a good thing, but because being same-sex attracted is not a sin, the temptations have no need to be confessed and the guilt was unwarranted. Confessing doggedly, in that manner, was not the correct way to deal with those feelings of guilt and shame.</p> <p>Once my grandmother died, the OCD grew to become an all-encompassing reality as I tried to suppress the SSA as well as the grief associated with her death. Thankfully, at that time, I had been meeting with a pastor who was discipling me. He noticed that something was not right. He suggested to my parents that I go for counselling to sort through the issues that were clearly causing me distress. My parents organised for me to see a local Christian psychologist. We worked through the OCD, and he gave me some useful techniques to deal with the negative emotions, the most noteworthy being that instead of confessing to get rid of the unwarranted shame and guilt, I needed to remind myself of God’s love for me. That, as well as some meds I was put on, really helped. My mood greatly improved and the OCD also decreased. I am thankful to my parents who continued to love and support me despite not knowing what to do. I am thankful to my counsellor who reminded me of the gospel. I am also thankful to God whose Word brought great comfort to me at that time. The Psalms came alive to me too.<br /> Here are some instances of what I have learned along the way:</p> <h4>Temptation is not intentional sin</h4> <p>Everyone is tempted differently depending on their make-up. Some are tempted to eat too much, some struggle with greed, others with envy. However, just because one is weak in a particular area, does not mean that they are sinning by being tempted. Even Jesus was tempted with his own unique temptations (Matthew 4), yet the Bible makes it clear that He was without sin (Hebrews 4:15). In the same way, just because we find members of the same sex attractive, does not make those attractions wrong. It becomes a sin if you entertain it through something like lust or porn.</p> <h4>Feelings can be deceptive</h4> <p>Until recently, I believed that if the feeling was strong enough, then it must be God who is causing it. For example, if the feeling of guilt is so strong, then it must be God convicting me. That lie did mean that I was at the mercy of my feelings. Following that line of thinking meant that I was forced to obey whatever the feelings told me to do. If I was overcome with an intense sense of guilt, there would always be something that I could do to make it go away (i.e. the compulsion). However, that compulsion never did decrease the feelings for long. The feeling would resurface again a few days or weeks later.</p> <h4>Don’t be afraid to ask for help!</h4> <p>OCD is not something you can combat on your own. Find a few trusted friends whom you can chat to; chat to a counsellor or your pastor. I have needed my friends to help me sort out the truthful thoughts from the lies. </p> <h4>Fight the OCD using God’s Word</h4> <p>For me, one of the reasons the OCD feelings have so much weight is because I convince myself that if I do not obey the compulsions, God will reject me. Bible verses that speak against that are, for example, Jeremiah 31:36-37:<br /><em>“If this fixed order departs from before me, declares the Lord, <br /> then shall the offspring of Israel cease from being a nation before me forever.” Thus says the Lord:<br /> “If the heavens above can be measured, and the foundations of the earth below can be explored,<br /> then I will cast off all the offspring of Israel for all that they have done,<br /> declares the Lord.”</em></p> <p>God will only abandon me if the heavens above can be measured and the fixed order falls apart. We can be assured that we are safe with God and our very lives are safely hidden with Him in heaven, where no one can steal them away (Col 3:3). We can be sure that He will never abandon us.<br /> Your “core fear” might be something else. Let me urge you to find verses that will encourage you with truth to counteract any lies you may be believing.</p> <h3>My current experience with OCD</h3> <p>Ironically, while I was writing this article, I was experiencing OCD like I experienced at high school. I hadn’t been on medication for OCD for many years, but I needed it. That was the only thing that gave me significant rest from the thoughts and feelings. Honestly, I was angry with God for not healing me as I needed. I had expected Him to take the thoughts and feelings away as I prayed to Him and read the Word, but that is not how He chose to help me. He chose to help me through medication. He gave many intelligent men and women talents and insight to create these medications. God does not always heal in the supernatural way that we sometimes expect.<br /> This was also a very humbling experience as I learned that all my methods and means of dealing with my disorder did not work - some of them being religious means. It left me realising how dependent I am on God for everything.</p> <hr /><p>This article was originally published in the Spring 2024 edition of the TFT magazine, <em>Ascend</em>. Click the button below to download your copy.</p> <p>&#13; <style rel="stylesheet"> <!--/*--><![CDATA[/* ><!--*/ #button-d7kcn6nk2i32{background:#fff;color:#000;border-color:#00599c;} #button-d7kcn6nk2i32:hover{background:#00599c;color:#fff;border-color:#00599c;} /*--><!]]>*/ </style></p><div class="clearfix"></div>&#13; <a href="https://truefreedomtrust.co.uk/sites/default/files/newsletters/2024Q1ascend.pdf" class="gsc-button medium " id="button-d7kcn6nk2i32">&#13; Download the Spring 2024 edition of Ascend </a> &#13; &#13; </div> <!-- END OUTPUT from 'themes/custom/gavias_charityplus/templates/field.html.twig' --> <!-- THEME DEBUG --> <!-- THEME HOOK: 'links__node' --> <!-- FILE NAME SUGGESTIONS: * links--node.html.twig x links.html.twig --> <!-- BEGIN OUTPUT from 'themes/custom/gavias_charityplus/templates/navigation/links.html.twig' --> <!-- END OUTPUT from 'themes/custom/gavias_charityplus/templates/navigation/links.html.twig' --> <!-- THEME DEBUG --> <!-- THEME HOOK: 'field' --> <!-- FILE NAME SUGGESTIONS: * field--node--field-post-format--article.html.twig * field--node--field-post-format.html.twig * field--node--article.html.twig * field--field-post-format.html.twig * field--list-string.html.twig x field.html.twig --> <!-- BEGIN OUTPUT from 'themes/custom/gavias_charityplus/templates/field.html.twig' --> <div class="field field--name-field-post-format field--type-list-string field--label-hidden field__item">Personal Story</div> <!-- END OUTPUT from 'themes/custom/gavias_charityplus/templates/field.html.twig' --> <!-- THEME DEBUG --> <!-- THEME HOOK: 'field' --> <!-- FILE NAME SUGGESTIONS: * field--node--field-post-category--article.html.twig * field--node--field-post-category.html.twig * field--node--article.html.twig * field--field-post-category.html.twig * field--entity-reference.html.twig x field.html.twig --> <!-- BEGIN OUTPUT from 'themes/custom/gavias_charityplus/templates/field.html.twig' --> <div class="field field--name-field-post-category field--type-entity-reference field--label-hidden field__items"> <div class="field__item"><a href="/accountability" hreflang="en">Accountability</a></div> <div class="field__item"><a href="/identity" hreflang="en">Identity</a></div> <div class="field__item"><a href="/supporting-others" hreflang="en">Supporting Others</a></div> </div> <!-- END OUTPUT from 'themes/custom/gavias_charityplus/templates/field.html.twig' --> <!-- THEME DEBUG --> <!-- THEME HOOK: 'field' --> <!-- FILE NAME SUGGESTIONS: * field--node--field-more-information--article.html.twig * field--node--field-more-information.html.twig * field--node--article.html.twig * field--field-more-information.html.twig * field--text-long.html.twig x field.html.twig --> <!-- BEGIN OUTPUT from 'themes/custom/gavias_charityplus/templates/field.html.twig' --> <div class="field field--name-field-more-information field--type-text-long field--label-hidden field__item"> <p><em>Please note that any external resources below are intended to complement the main answer given above and may not entirely match TFT's position.</em></p> <p>***for FAQs ONLY, replace this text with links to further articles, books, audio and video. Examples below for each media type.</p> <p> </p><div class="widget gsc-icon-box left text-dark">&#13; <div class="highlight-icon"><span class="icon fa fa-link"></span></div>&#13; <div class="highlight_content">&#13; <a href="***URL LINK"> <h4>Living Out article: 'Is it ok to be gay?' '</h4>&#13; </a> <div class="desc">This article (click link above) goes into more of the biblical passages.</div>&#13; &#13; </div>&#13; &#13; </div> &#13; <p> </p><div class="widget gsc-icon-box left text-dark">&#13; <div class="highlight-icon"><span class="icon fa fa-video-camera"></span></div>&#13; <div class="highlight_content">&#13; <a href="***URL LINK"> <h4>ERLC video: 'Is it ok to be gay?' </h4>&#13; </a> <div class="desc">***CHANGE VIEW MODE TO SOURCE HTML AND INSERT SHARED EMBED CODE FROM YOUTUBE HERE, BUT CHANGE WIDTH TO 100% TO MAKE IT MORE RESPONSIVE*** This video sets out some more arguments on the matter.</div>&#13; &#13; </div>&#13; &#13; </div> &#13; <p> </p><div class="widget gsc-icon-box left text-dark">&#13; <div class="highlight-icon"><span class="icon fa fa-headphones"></span></div>&#13; <div class="highlight_content">&#13; <a href="***URL LINK"> <h4>UCB podcast: 'Is it ok to be gay?' </h4>&#13; </a> <div class="desc">This podcast (click link above) details...</div>&#13; &#13; </div>&#13; &#13; </div> &#13; <p> </p><div class="widget gsc-icon-box left text-dark">&#13; <div class="highlight-icon"><span class="icon fa fa-book"></span></div>&#13; <div class="highlight_content">&#13; <a href="***URL LINK"> <h4>IVP book: 'Satisfaction Guaranteed' </h4>&#13; </a> <div class="desc">This book (click link above) details...</div>&#13; &#13; </div>&#13; &#13; </div> &#13; </div> <!-- END OUTPUT from 'themes/custom/gavias_charityplus/templates/field.html.twig' --> <!-- THEME DEBUG --> <!-- THEME HOOK: 'field' --> <!-- FILE NAME SUGGESTIONS: * field--node--field-author-information--article.html.twig * field--node--field-author-information.html.twig * field--node--article.html.twig * field--field-author-information.html.twig * field--string.html.twig x field.html.twig --> <!-- BEGIN OUTPUT from 'themes/custom/gavias_charityplus/templates/field.html.twig' --> <div class="field field--name-field-author-information field--type-string field--label-hidden field__items"> <div class="field__item">Written by Richard</div> </div> <!-- END OUTPUT from 'themes/custom/gavias_charityplus/templates/field.html.twig' --> Mon, 03 Jun 2024 13:07:03 +0000 Owen 659 at https://truefreedomtrust.co.uk Mixing Mental health and Sexuality https://truefreedomtrust.co.uk/mixing-mental-health-and-sexuality <!-- THEME DEBUG --> <!-- THEME HOOK: 'field' --> <!-- FILE NAME SUGGESTIONS: * field--node--title--article.html.twig x field--node--title.html.twig * field--node--article.html.twig * field--title.html.twig * field--string.html.twig * field.html.twig --> <!-- BEGIN OUTPUT from 'core/modules/node/templates/field--node--title.html.twig' --> <span property="schema:name">Mixing Mental health and Sexuality</span> <!-- END OUTPUT from 'core/modules/node/templates/field--node--title.html.twig' --> <!-- THEME DEBUG --> <!-- THEME HOOK: 'field' --> <!-- FILE NAME SUGGESTIONS: * field--node--field-image--article.html.twig * field--node--field-image.html.twig * field--node--article.html.twig * field--field-image.html.twig * field--image.html.twig x field.html.twig --> <!-- BEGIN OUTPUT from 'themes/custom/gavias_charityplus/templates/field.html.twig' --> <div class="field field--name-field-image field--type-image field--label-hidden field__item"> <!-- THEME DEBUG --> <!-- THEME HOOK: 'image_formatter' --> <!-- BEGIN OUTPUT from 'themes/custom/gavias_charityplus/templates/fields/image-formatter.html.twig' --> <div class="item-image"> <!-- THEME DEBUG --> <!-- THEME HOOK: 'image' --> <!-- BEGIN OUTPUT from 'core/modules/system/templates/image.html.twig' --> <img property="schema:image" loading="lazy" src="/sites/default/files/articles/mental%20health%20and%20sexuality%201170%20x%20330.png" alt="praying with someone" typeof="foaf:Image" /> <!-- END OUTPUT from 'core/modules/system/templates/image.html.twig' --> </div> <!-- END OUTPUT from 'themes/custom/gavias_charityplus/templates/fields/image-formatter.html.twig' --> </div> <!-- END OUTPUT from 'themes/custom/gavias_charityplus/templates/field.html.twig' --> <!-- THEME DEBUG --> <!-- THEME HOOK: 'field' --> <!-- FILE NAME SUGGESTIONS: * field--node--uid--article.html.twig x field--node--uid.html.twig * field--node--article.html.twig * field--uid.html.twig * field--entity-reference.html.twig * field.html.twig --> <!-- BEGIN OUTPUT from 'core/modules/node/templates/field--node--uid.html.twig' --> <span rel="schema:author"> <!-- THEME DEBUG --> <!-- THEME HOOK: 'username' --> <!-- BEGIN OUTPUT from 'core/modules/user/templates/username.html.twig' --> <span lang="" about="/user/92" typeof="schema:Person" property="schema:name" datatype="">Owen</span> <!-- END OUTPUT from 'core/modules/user/templates/username.html.twig' --> </span> <!-- END OUTPUT from 'core/modules/node/templates/field--node--uid.html.twig' --> <!-- THEME DEBUG --> <!-- THEME HOOK: 'field' --> <!-- FILE NAME SUGGESTIONS: * field--node--created--article.html.twig x field--node--created.html.twig * field--node--article.html.twig * field--created.html.twig * field--created.html.twig * field.html.twig --> <!-- BEGIN OUTPUT from 'core/modules/node/templates/field--node--created.html.twig' --> <span property="schema:dateCreated" content="2024-05-20T11:56:09+00:00">Mon, 20/05/2024 - 12:56</span> <!-- END OUTPUT from 'core/modules/node/templates/field--node--created.html.twig' --> <!-- THEME DEBUG --> <!-- THEME HOOK: 'field' --> <!-- FILE NAME SUGGESTIONS: * field--node--body--article.html.twig * field--node--body.html.twig * field--node--article.html.twig * field--body.html.twig * field--text-with-summary.html.twig x field.html.twig --> <!-- BEGIN OUTPUT from 'themes/custom/gavias_charityplus/templates/field.html.twig' --> <div property="schema:text" class="field field--name-body field--type-text-with-summary field--label-hidden field__item"> <p>In preparation for this article, I asked a number of members of TFT some questions about their mental health. I chose people who experience both same-sex attractions and had at least one mental health diagnosis. My questions explore how their mental health condition interacted with their same-sex feelings. Each person picked from my questions which ones they wanted to answer. My intention was particularly to share experiences with others, so that others who have similar blends of sexual temptations with mental health struggles might benefit from the experience and wisdom of others. The responses below are simply the experiences of these five people.<br />  </p> <h3>What impact does your mental health condition have on your same-sex attractions?</h3> <p><strong>Vanessa:</strong> “I experience anxiety, OCD and depression. When these are strong, I may have more temptations to seek comfort.”</p> <p><strong>Joe:</strong> “I suffer from depression. The temptation to sin is stronger when I feel depressed because I feel more lonely and sad. My depression is really episodic and normally very short (2 weeks - to a month), and once I get out of an episode, I look like a perfectly normal, happy and social person. I was diagnosed with depression in 2014 and I have had only 4 episodes so far: the 3 relapses happened when I was not on antidepressants. But for some people, it's more long-term.”</p> <p><strong>Jade:</strong> “I struggle with anorexia, as well as anxiety disorder. It makes me think about previous relationships more and how life was easier with someone else there. I then begin to crave and miss those relationships and connections more.”</p> <p><strong>Sue:</strong> “My diagnosis is Borderline Personality Disorder with Post Traumatic Stress Disorder. When my mental health is more of a struggle my same-sex thoughts increase greatly. This in turn will increase my need for comfort and the increased same-sex temptations heighten my inner struggle that a same-sex relationship is where my comfort will be found, instead of looking to God for my comfort.”</p> <p><strong>Mark:</strong> “My bipolar condition can rock my faith, as it can play tricks on my mind. I keep praying it will go back to normal. If it wasn’t for my mum, I feel that I would be lost. Jesus is Lord and somehow still has a grip on me in these end times.”<br />  </p> <h3>What effect do your same-sex attractions have on your overall mental health?</h3> <p><strong>Joe:</strong> “I feel an intense inner conflict. I feel more ashamed and wonder if this struggle will be this painful through my whole life. Same-sex attraction basically depresses me.”</p> <p><strong>Jade:</strong> “Not a huge impact on my mental health. I'm able to speak about these struggles with friends who help remind me of the truth. But it does leave me doubting my beliefs and whether I'm doing the right thing.”</p> <p><strong>Sue:</strong> “The overall effect of increased same-sex attractions eventually results in feelings of guilt and failure, both of which in the long term have a negative impact on my mental health and my self-esteem and increase my inner mental conflict regarding my identity.”</p> <p><strong>Mark:</strong> “My bipolar condition is complicated by addictive behaviours such as alcohol and nicotine, gambling and sexual addiction. I watch too much TV and, if I’m honest, I feel it’s the enemy trying to distract me from the faith.”<br />  </p> <h3>How does any medication you take affect your same-sex attractions?</h3> <p><strong>Joe:</strong> “Yes, I take 10mg of Escitalopram every day. I think, generally speaking, the drugs have a positive effect on me. I am one of those people who respond really well to medicines (I know some people don't), and the medication keeps my emotions and cognition above baseline levels. This means that when I feel the urge to sin, or when I feel sad because of this sin, I have a certain level of psychological flexibility to shift my attention away from this struggle and just carry on with life. It would be harder for me to do this if I were not on medication. In my support group, I found that those who refused to take medication or had low medication compliance generally had a poor prognosis. I would encourage them to take medication as prescribed. I know this even more clearly after I started studying mental health, because mental illness does have a biological cause (even though it may not be the main one).”</p> <p> </p><div class="widget gsc-quote-text no-border" style="background:#59adc4;">&#13; <div class="widget-content">&#13; <div class="content" style="color:#fff;"><i style="color:#fff;" class="icon fa fa-quote-left"></i> I would encourage others to take their medication as prescribed  </div>&#13; </div>&#13; </div> &#13; <p><strong>Sue:</strong> “Depending on which medication I’m on, and the dosage, sexual feelings can sometimes be suppressed. In this case, my same-sex feelings will be much less or will not be an issue.”<br />  </p> <h3>What strategies do you find helpful in managing both your mental health and your same-sex feelings?</h3> <p><strong>Vanessa:</strong> “I benefit from accountability. Also, my own prayers and the prayers of others.”</p> <p><strong>Joe:</strong> “These are the tools that help me: antidepressant medication, exercise and keeping in touch with my family, friends and brothers and sisters in the church. Counselling also helps. Another thing, and this is the most effective coping mechanism for me, is work. During a recent semester, I was very busy studying, volunteering and looking for a part-time job, so there was very little time for me to dwell on my same-sex feelings.”</p> <p><strong>Jade:</strong> "I have found that vulnerability and honesty with others really helps me: being open about my struggles and having others pray helps to ground me biblically and keeps me in the truth. Also, distraction techniques and keeping busy help me.”</p> <p><strong>Sue: </strong>“Not keeping my feelings to myself is helpful. Also, seeking out a trusted Christian friend to talk and pray with: I have had an accountability partner in the past who was invaluable, with regards to keeping me on track and helping me through the most intense parts of my struggle.”<br />  </p> <h3>How can we best support those facing a combination of mental health struggles and same-sex attractions?</h3> <p><strong>Joe:</strong> "I had a similar support group of Christians who experienced same-sex attractions in China. Among the big group, there were 6 members who met regularly, and half of them had some kind of mental disorder and were on medications. As well as encouraging them to take any prescribed medication, I would also just be there for them when they needed someone to talk to. Sometimes I had to be extremely patient. It can be frustrating to talk to depressed people, as you can get sucked into their negativity and feel as helpless as them. When I talked to one member of the support group, it could feel hopeless, because it felt like there was nothing I could do to improve his situation. At these times, I would tell myself that at least I am also suffering with him and that's going to make him feel better."<br />  </p> <h3>Afterword</h3> <p>I hope that the reflections shared above are an encouragement to you. However, these responses do not constitute expert mental health advice. Rather, they are shared in good faith for the encouragement of the reader. If you have a mental health condition, please pursue professional advice that is tailored to you.</p> <hr /><p>This article was originally published in the Spring 2024 edition of the TFT magazine, <em>Ascend</em>. Click the button below to download your copy.</p> <p>&#13; <style rel="stylesheet"> <!--/*--><![CDATA[/* ><!--*/ #button-s349ehncs7k1{background:#fff;color:#000;border-color:#00599c;} #button-s349ehncs7k1:hover{background:#00599c;color:#fff;border-color:#00599c;} /*--><!]]>*/ </style></p><div class="clearfix"></div>&#13; <a href="https://truefreedomtrust.co.uk/sites/default/files/newsletters/2024Q1ascend.pdf" class="gsc-button medium " id="button-s349ehncs7k1">&#13; Download the Spring 2024 edition of Ascend </a> &#13; &#13; <p> </p> </div> <!-- END OUTPUT from 'themes/custom/gavias_charityplus/templates/field.html.twig' --> <!-- THEME DEBUG --> <!-- THEME HOOK: 'links__node' --> <!-- FILE NAME SUGGESTIONS: * links--node.html.twig x links.html.twig --> <!-- BEGIN OUTPUT from 'themes/custom/gavias_charityplus/templates/navigation/links.html.twig' --> <!-- END OUTPUT from 'themes/custom/gavias_charityplus/templates/navigation/links.html.twig' --> <!-- THEME DEBUG --> <!-- THEME HOOK: 'field' --> <!-- FILE NAME SUGGESTIONS: * field--node--field-post-format--article.html.twig * field--node--field-post-format.html.twig * field--node--article.html.twig * field--field-post-format.html.twig * field--list-string.html.twig x field.html.twig --> <!-- BEGIN OUTPUT from 'themes/custom/gavias_charityplus/templates/field.html.twig' --> <div class="field field--name-field-post-format field--type-list-string field--label-hidden field__item">Article</div> <!-- END OUTPUT from 'themes/custom/gavias_charityplus/templates/field.html.twig' --> <!-- THEME DEBUG --> <!-- THEME HOOK: 'field' --> <!-- FILE NAME SUGGESTIONS: * field--node--field-post-category--article.html.twig * field--node--field-post-category.html.twig * field--node--article.html.twig * field--field-post-category.html.twig * field--entity-reference.html.twig x field.html.twig --> <!-- BEGIN OUTPUT from 'themes/custom/gavias_charityplus/templates/field.html.twig' --> <div class="field field--name-field-post-category field--type-entity-reference field--label-hidden field__items"> <div class="field__item"><a href="/accountability" hreflang="en">Accountability</a></div> <div class="field__item"><a href="/supporting-others" hreflang="en">Supporting Others</a></div> </div> <!-- END OUTPUT from 'themes/custom/gavias_charityplus/templates/field.html.twig' --> <!-- THEME DEBUG --> <!-- THEME HOOK: 'field' --> <!-- FILE NAME SUGGESTIONS: * field--node--field-more-information--article.html.twig * field--node--field-more-information.html.twig * field--node--article.html.twig * field--field-more-information.html.twig * field--text-long.html.twig x field.html.twig --> <!-- BEGIN OUTPUT from 'themes/custom/gavias_charityplus/templates/field.html.twig' --> <div class="field field--name-field-more-information field--type-text-long field--label-hidden field__item"> <p><em>Please note that any external resources below are intended to complement the main answer given above and may not entirely match TFT's position.</em></p> <p>***for FAQs ONLY, replace this text with links to further articles, books, audio and video. Examples below for each media type.</p> <p> </p><div class="widget gsc-icon-box left text-dark">&#13; <div class="highlight-icon"><span class="icon fa fa-link"></span></div>&#13; <div class="highlight_content">&#13; <a href="***URL LINK"> <h4>Living Out article: 'Is it ok to be gay?' '</h4>&#13; </a> <div class="desc">This article (click link above) goes into more of the biblical passages.</div>&#13; &#13; </div>&#13; &#13; </div> &#13; <p> </p><div class="widget gsc-icon-box left text-dark">&#13; <div class="highlight-icon"><span class="icon fa fa-video-camera"></span></div>&#13; <div class="highlight_content">&#13; <a href="***URL LINK"> <h4>ERLC video: 'Is it ok to be gay?' </h4>&#13; </a> <div class="desc">***CHANGE VIEW MODE TO SOURCE HTML AND INSERT SHARED EMBED CODE FROM YOUTUBE HERE, BUT CHANGE WIDTH TO 100% TO MAKE IT MORE RESPONSIVE*** This video sets out some more arguments on the matter.</div>&#13; &#13; </div>&#13; &#13; </div> &#13; <p> </p><div class="widget gsc-icon-box left text-dark">&#13; <div class="highlight-icon"><span class="icon fa fa-headphones"></span></div>&#13; <div class="highlight_content">&#13; <a href="***URL LINK"> <h4>UCB podcast: 'Is it ok to be gay?' </h4>&#13; </a> <div class="desc">This podcast (click link above) details...</div>&#13; &#13; </div>&#13; &#13; </div> &#13; <p> </p><div class="widget gsc-icon-box left text-dark">&#13; <div class="highlight-icon"><span class="icon fa fa-book"></span></div>&#13; <div class="highlight_content">&#13; <a href="***URL LINK"> <h4>IVP book: 'Satisfaction Guaranteed' </h4>&#13; </a> <div class="desc">This book (click link above) details...</div>&#13; &#13; </div>&#13; &#13; </div> &#13; </div> <!-- END OUTPUT from 'themes/custom/gavias_charityplus/templates/field.html.twig' --> <!-- THEME DEBUG --> <!-- THEME HOOK: 'field' --> <!-- FILE NAME SUGGESTIONS: * field--node--field-author-information--article.html.twig * field--node--field-author-information.html.twig * field--node--article.html.twig * field--field-author-information.html.twig * field--string.html.twig x field.html.twig --> <!-- BEGIN OUTPUT from 'themes/custom/gavias_charityplus/templates/field.html.twig' --> <div class="field field--name-field-author-information field--type-string field--label-hidden field__items"> <div class="field__item">Written by Stuart</div> </div> <!-- END OUTPUT from 'themes/custom/gavias_charityplus/templates/field.html.twig' --> Mon, 20 May 2024 11:56:09 +0000 Owen 658 at https://truefreedomtrust.co.uk Review: "Naked Truth project" https://truefreedomtrust.co.uk/review-naked-truth-project <!-- THEME DEBUG --> <!-- THEME HOOK: 'field' --> <!-- FILE NAME SUGGESTIONS: * field--node--title--article.html.twig x field--node--title.html.twig * field--node--article.html.twig * field--title.html.twig * field--string.html.twig * field.html.twig --> <!-- BEGIN OUTPUT from 'core/modules/node/templates/field--node--title.html.twig' --> <span property="schema:name">Review: &quot;Naked Truth project&quot;</span> <!-- END OUTPUT from 'core/modules/node/templates/field--node--title.html.twig' --> <!-- THEME DEBUG --> <!-- THEME HOOK: 'field' --> <!-- FILE NAME SUGGESTIONS: * field--node--field-image--article.html.twig * field--node--field-image.html.twig * field--node--article.html.twig * field--field-image.html.twig * field--image.html.twig x field.html.twig --> <!-- BEGIN OUTPUT from 'themes/custom/gavias_charityplus/templates/field.html.twig' --> <div class="field field--name-field-image field--type-image field--label-hidden field__item"> <!-- THEME DEBUG --> <!-- THEME HOOK: 'image_formatter' --> <!-- BEGIN OUTPUT from 'themes/custom/gavias_charityplus/templates/fields/image-formatter.html.twig' --> <div class="item-image"> <!-- THEME DEBUG --> <!-- THEME HOOK: 'image' --> <!-- BEGIN OUTPUT from 'core/modules/system/templates/image.html.twig' --> <img property="schema:image" loading="lazy" src="/sites/default/files/articles/naked%20truth%20new%201170.png" alt="naked truth" typeof="foaf:Image" /> <!-- END OUTPUT from 'core/modules/system/templates/image.html.twig' --> </div> <!-- END OUTPUT from 'themes/custom/gavias_charityplus/templates/fields/image-formatter.html.twig' --> </div> <!-- END OUTPUT from 'themes/custom/gavias_charityplus/templates/field.html.twig' --> <!-- THEME DEBUG --> <!-- THEME HOOK: 'field' --> <!-- FILE NAME SUGGESTIONS: * field--node--uid--article.html.twig x field--node--uid.html.twig * field--node--article.html.twig * field--uid.html.twig * field--entity-reference.html.twig * field.html.twig --> <!-- BEGIN OUTPUT from 'core/modules/node/templates/field--node--uid.html.twig' --> <span rel="schema:author"> <!-- THEME DEBUG --> <!-- THEME HOOK: 'username' --> <!-- BEGIN OUTPUT from 'core/modules/user/templates/username.html.twig' --> <span lang="" about="/user/92" typeof="schema:Person" property="schema:name" datatype="">Owen</span> <!-- END OUTPUT from 'core/modules/user/templates/username.html.twig' --> </span> <!-- END OUTPUT from 'core/modules/node/templates/field--node--uid.html.twig' --> <!-- THEME DEBUG --> <!-- THEME HOOK: 'field' --> <!-- FILE NAME SUGGESTIONS: * field--node--created--article.html.twig x field--node--created.html.twig * field--node--article.html.twig * field--created.html.twig * field--created.html.twig * field.html.twig --> <!-- BEGIN OUTPUT from 'core/modules/node/templates/field--node--created.html.twig' --> <span property="schema:dateCreated" content="2024-02-28T15:44:07+00:00">Wed, 28/02/2024 - 15:44</span> <!-- END OUTPUT from 'core/modules/node/templates/field--node--created.html.twig' --> <!-- THEME DEBUG --> <!-- THEME HOOK: 'field' --> <!-- FILE NAME SUGGESTIONS: * field--node--body--article.html.twig * field--node--body.html.twig * field--node--article.html.twig * field--body.html.twig * field--text-with-summary.html.twig x field.html.twig --> <!-- BEGIN OUTPUT from 'themes/custom/gavias_charityplus/templates/field.html.twig' --> <div property="schema:text" class="field field--name-body field--type-text-with-summary field--label-hidden field__item"> <p>The Naked Truth Project, <a href="https://nakedtruthproject.com/">nakedtruthproject.com</a>, is a UK charity “committed to changing minds and changing lives through awareness, education and recovery programmes.” The website opens with a video of a powerful poem; this  beautifully depicts their goal to teach about the harmfulness of porn and provide a vision for life, human flourishing and restoration. Toward that end, they offer a variety of resources to help parents, spouses, teachers, schools and churches understand and address issues of pornography. While those are all valuable, this review will focus on the opportunities specifically for individuals who are actively struggling with pornography. </p> <p> </p><div class="widget gsc-quote-text no-border" style="background:#59adc4;">&#13; <div class="widget-content">&#13; <div class="content" style="color:#fff;"><i style="color:#fff;" class="icon fa fa-quote-left"></i> The group discussions encourage both personal application and developing tools towards change</div>&#13; </div>&#13; </div> &#13; <h3>Kick-starting recovery</h3> <p>The primary programme on offer is called Click to Kick. A small group of participants meet weekly with a trained facilitator on Zoom, to complete an 8-week course focusing on understanding addiction, positive sexuality and healthy lifestyles. The group discussions, as well as some assignments between meetings, encourage both personal application to those topics and developing tools towards change in one’s own thinking and behaviour. The material is well written, educates without sounding too academic and is thoughtfully and graciously related to the real lives of the participants. There are men’s and women’s groups. Overall, I would recommend this programme for someone looking to kick-start their recovery. </p> <h3>Caveats</h3> <p>My main hesitation or caution stems from the lack of emphasis on faith and spiritual aspects of recovery. The organisation itself is created and run by Christians. They have the perspective that we are more than bodies and brains, but also are spiritual beings with souls; what we are yearning for is ultimately God and that prayer and spiritual components should play a role in recovery. However, they want their groups to be accessible to everyone, so therefore most references to faith-based subjects are mentioned more as an aside or in optional activities. My Click to Kick group was only comprised of Christians, so we did include discussion based around the gospel, but that’s not always the case. Also, they welcome LGBT+ people to these groups, without regard for creed or practice. While the focus is pornography, not sexual orientation, there is enough overlap of possible conversation that a TFT member might find it triggering or uncomfortable to be in a group with a sexually active gay person. </p> <h3>Cost</h3> <p>Click to Kick is free with donation giving as an option. After completing that course, one who shows commitment to sexual sobriety has the option to join the Whole Life programme, which incurs a monthly fee (currently £50/month). Whole Life allows you to continue your recovery in community with ongoing support groups, encouragement and discussion for those who want to go deeper into recovery and restoration.</p> <h3>Online videos and resources</h3> <p>For someone not quite ready to jump into the Click to Kick programme, there is a free online video course called Ctrl-Alt-Del. This series of 28 short videos presents similar content as the Click to Kick programme, but more abbreviated and without the discussion and accountability. Still, the videos are engaging and informative and they do suggest some questions for reflection or resources for further study. This course also contains four optional videos about faith and the spiritual impact of porn and recovery. One of these describes two hindrances to holy living: forgetting who we are and whose we are and fracturing or compartmentalising our lives. These are good reminders for all believers, not just those who struggle with pornography. </p> <h3>Benefits and drawbacks</h3> <p>Because it’s undertaken independently online, one can complete the course at one’s own pace. This can be beneficial for some, but could also be detrimental for those who would either rush through, without truly engaging with the material, or would take too long between videos and lose any momentum or retention of the contents. This course is designed for men and women. However, there is one video specifically for men, discussing the relationship between porn and erectile dysfunction. That is announced at the beginning of the video, so women can skip that video. I wish there was a similar video discussing things unique to women.<br /> In addition to these courses, individual coaching and counselling is offered, as well as some in-person intensives and retreats. More information can be found on the website. <br />  </p> <hr /><p>This article was originally published in the Winter 2023 edition of the TFT magazine, <em>Ascend</em>. Click the button below to download your copy.</p> <p>&#13; <style rel="stylesheet"> <!--/*--><![CDATA[/* ><!--*/ #button-khqdf19ppg00{background:#fff;color:#000;border-color:#00599c;} #button-khqdf19ppg00:hover{background:#00599c;color:#fff;border-color:#00599c;} /*--><!]]>*/ </style></p><div class="clearfix"></div>&#13; <a href="https://truefreedomtrust.co.uk/sites/default/files/newsletters/2023Q4ascend.pdf" class="gsc-button medium " id="button-khqdf19ppg00">&#13; Download the Winter 2023 edition of Ascend </a> &#13; &#13; </div> <!-- END OUTPUT from 'themes/custom/gavias_charityplus/templates/field.html.twig' --> <!-- THEME DEBUG --> <!-- THEME HOOK: 'links__node' --> <!-- FILE NAME SUGGESTIONS: * links--node.html.twig x links.html.twig --> <!-- BEGIN OUTPUT from 'themes/custom/gavias_charityplus/templates/navigation/links.html.twig' --> <!-- END OUTPUT from 'themes/custom/gavias_charityplus/templates/navigation/links.html.twig' --> <!-- THEME DEBUG --> <!-- THEME HOOK: 'field' --> <!-- FILE NAME SUGGESTIONS: * field--node--field-post-format--article.html.twig * field--node--field-post-format.html.twig * field--node--article.html.twig * field--field-post-format.html.twig * field--list-string.html.twig x field.html.twig --> <!-- BEGIN OUTPUT from 'themes/custom/gavias_charityplus/templates/field.html.twig' --> <div class="field field--name-field-post-format field--type-list-string field--label-hidden field__item">Review</div> <!-- END OUTPUT from 'themes/custom/gavias_charityplus/templates/field.html.twig' --> <!-- THEME DEBUG --> <!-- THEME HOOK: 'field' --> <!-- FILE NAME SUGGESTIONS: * field--node--field-post-category--article.html.twig * field--node--field-post-category.html.twig * field--node--article.html.twig * field--field-post-category.html.twig * field--entity-reference.html.twig x field.html.twig --> <!-- BEGIN OUTPUT from 'themes/custom/gavias_charityplus/templates/field.html.twig' --> <div class="field field--name-field-post-category field--type-entity-reference field--label-hidden field__items"> <div class="field__item"><a href="/accountability" hreflang="en">Accountability</a></div> <div class="field__item"><a href="/self-control" hreflang="en">Self Control</a></div> <div class="field__item"><a href="/singleness" hreflang="en">Singleness</a></div> </div> <!-- END OUTPUT from 'themes/custom/gavias_charityplus/templates/field.html.twig' --> <!-- THEME DEBUG --> <!-- THEME HOOK: 'field' --> <!-- FILE NAME SUGGESTIONS: * field--node--field-more-information--article.html.twig * field--node--field-more-information.html.twig * field--node--article.html.twig * field--field-more-information.html.twig * field--text-long.html.twig x field.html.twig --> <!-- BEGIN OUTPUT from 'themes/custom/gavias_charityplus/templates/field.html.twig' --> <div class="field field--name-field-more-information field--type-text-long field--label-hidden field__item"> <p><em>Please note that any external resources below are intended to complement the main answer given above and may not entirely match TFT's position.</em></p> <p>***for FAQs ONLY, replace this text with links to further articles, books, audio and video. Examples below for each media type.</p> <p> </p><div class="widget gsc-icon-box left text-dark">&#13; <div class="highlight-icon"><span class="icon fa fa-link"></span></div>&#13; <div class="highlight_content">&#13; <a href="***URL LINK"> <h4>Living Out article: 'Is it ok to be gay?' '</h4>&#13; </a> <div class="desc">This article (click link above) goes into more of the biblical passages.</div>&#13; &#13; </div>&#13; &#13; </div> &#13; <p> </p><div class="widget gsc-icon-box left text-dark">&#13; <div class="highlight-icon"><span class="icon fa fa-video-camera"></span></div>&#13; <div class="highlight_content">&#13; <a href="***URL LINK"> <h4>ERLC video: 'Is it ok to be gay?' </h4>&#13; </a> <div class="desc">***CHANGE VIEW MODE TO SOURCE HTML AND INSERT SHARED EMBED CODE FROM YOUTUBE HERE, BUT CHANGE WIDTH TO 100% TO MAKE IT MORE RESPONSIVE*** This video sets out some more arguments on the matter.</div>&#13; &#13; </div>&#13; &#13; </div> &#13; <p> </p><div class="widget gsc-icon-box left text-dark">&#13; <div class="highlight-icon"><span class="icon fa fa-headphones"></span></div>&#13; <div class="highlight_content">&#13; <a href="***URL LINK"> <h4>UCB podcast: 'Is it ok to be gay?' </h4>&#13; </a> <div class="desc">This podcast (click link above) details...</div>&#13; &#13; </div>&#13; &#13; </div> &#13; <p> </p><div class="widget gsc-icon-box left text-dark">&#13; <div class="highlight-icon"><span class="icon fa fa-book"></span></div>&#13; <div class="highlight_content">&#13; <a href="***URL LINK"> <h4>IVP book: 'Satisfaction Guaranteed' </h4>&#13; </a> <div class="desc">This book (click link above) details...</div>&#13; &#13; </div>&#13; &#13; </div> &#13; </div> <!-- END OUTPUT from 'themes/custom/gavias_charityplus/templates/field.html.twig' --> <!-- THEME DEBUG --> <!-- THEME HOOK: 'field' --> <!-- FILE NAME SUGGESTIONS: * field--node--field-author-information--article.html.twig * field--node--field-author-information.html.twig * field--node--article.html.twig * field--field-author-information.html.twig * field--string.html.twig x field.html.twig --> <!-- BEGIN OUTPUT from 'themes/custom/gavias_charityplus/templates/field.html.twig' --> <div class="field field--name-field-author-information field--type-string field--label-hidden field__items"> <div class="field__item">Written by Sarah</div> </div> <!-- END OUTPUT from 'themes/custom/gavias_charityplus/templates/field.html.twig' --> Wed, 28 Feb 2024 15:44:07 +0000 Owen 649 at https://truefreedomtrust.co.uk The porn pandemic https://truefreedomtrust.co.uk/porn-pandemic <!-- THEME DEBUG --> <!-- THEME HOOK: 'field' --> <!-- FILE NAME SUGGESTIONS: * field--node--title--article.html.twig x field--node--title.html.twig * field--node--article.html.twig * field--title.html.twig * field--string.html.twig * field.html.twig --> <!-- BEGIN OUTPUT from 'core/modules/node/templates/field--node--title.html.twig' --> <span property="schema:name">The porn pandemic </span> <!-- END OUTPUT from 'core/modules/node/templates/field--node--title.html.twig' --> <!-- THEME DEBUG --> <!-- THEME HOOK: 'field' --> <!-- FILE NAME SUGGESTIONS: * field--node--field-image--article.html.twig * field--node--field-image.html.twig * field--node--article.html.twig * field--field-image.html.twig * field--image.html.twig x field.html.twig --> <!-- BEGIN OUTPUT from 'themes/custom/gavias_charityplus/templates/field.html.twig' --> <div class="field field--name-field-image field--type-image field--label-hidden field__item"> <!-- THEME DEBUG --> <!-- THEME HOOK: 'image_formatter' --> <!-- BEGIN OUTPUT from 'themes/custom/gavias_charityplus/templates/fields/image-formatter.html.twig' --> <div class="item-image"> <!-- THEME DEBUG --> <!-- THEME HOOK: 'image' --> <!-- BEGIN OUTPUT from 'core/modules/system/templates/image.html.twig' --> <img property="schema:image" loading="lazy" src="/sites/default/files/articles/porn%20pandemic%201170%20x%20330.png" alt="wearing a mask looking at a computer" typeof="foaf:Image" /> <!-- END OUTPUT from 'core/modules/system/templates/image.html.twig' --> </div> <!-- END OUTPUT from 'themes/custom/gavias_charityplus/templates/fields/image-formatter.html.twig' --> </div> <!-- END OUTPUT from 'themes/custom/gavias_charityplus/templates/field.html.twig' --> <!-- THEME DEBUG --> <!-- THEME HOOK: 'field' --> <!-- FILE NAME SUGGESTIONS: * field--node--uid--article.html.twig x field--node--uid.html.twig * field--node--article.html.twig * field--uid.html.twig * field--entity-reference.html.twig * field.html.twig --> <!-- BEGIN OUTPUT from 'core/modules/node/templates/field--node--uid.html.twig' --> <span rel="schema:author"> <!-- THEME DEBUG --> <!-- THEME HOOK: 'username' --> <!-- BEGIN OUTPUT from 'core/modules/user/templates/username.html.twig' --> <span lang="" about="/user/92" typeof="schema:Person" property="schema:name" datatype="">Owen</span> <!-- END OUTPUT from 'core/modules/user/templates/username.html.twig' --> </span> <!-- END OUTPUT from 'core/modules/node/templates/field--node--uid.html.twig' --> <!-- THEME DEBUG --> <!-- THEME HOOK: 'field' --> <!-- FILE NAME SUGGESTIONS: * field--node--created--article.html.twig x field--node--created.html.twig * field--node--article.html.twig * field--created.html.twig * field--created.html.twig * field.html.twig --> <!-- BEGIN OUTPUT from 'core/modules/node/templates/field--node--created.html.twig' --> <span property="schema:dateCreated" content="2024-02-18T15:32:54+00:00">Sun, 18/02/2024 - 15:32</span> <!-- END OUTPUT from 'core/modules/node/templates/field--node--created.html.twig' --> <!-- THEME DEBUG --> <!-- THEME HOOK: 'field' --> <!-- FILE NAME SUGGESTIONS: * field--node--body--article.html.twig * field--node--body.html.twig * field--node--article.html.twig * field--body.html.twig * field--text-with-summary.html.twig x field.html.twig --> <!-- BEGIN OUTPUT from 'themes/custom/gavias_charityplus/templates/field.html.twig' --> <div property="schema:text" class="field field--name-body field--type-text-with-summary field--label-hidden field__item"> <p>One of the recent open day lectures run by Oak Hill Theological College, was on the theme of pornography. This was given by Robin Barfield, a children’s and youth worker. </p> <p> </p><div class="widget gsc-quote-text no-border" style="background:#59adc4;">&#13; <div class="widget-content">&#13; <div class="content" style="color:#fff;"><i style="color:#fff;" class="icon fa fa-quote-left"></i> Remember whoever is struggling is a child of God's and is saved by grace  </div>&#13; </div>&#13; </div> &#13; <h3>The reality</h3> <p>Robin began by listing some statistics on pornography use: </p> <ul><li>12% of all websites are pornographic (4.2 million Sexually Explicit Internet Material (SEIM) websites existed in 2015)</li> <li>42% of all internet users (male, female, young and old) view SEIM</li> <li>10% of the 42% are viewing SEIM daily</li> </ul><p>Men are more likely to watch what is called “gonzo porn”, which is viewing the raw act of sex, while women often want more of a storyline when they are watching porn.</p> <h3>What do we need to remember about porn use? </h3> <p>Firstly, using porn can affect our body image. Men aren’t normally accustomed to seeing other men’s body shapes and therefore porn can distort their body image. Women aren’t affected as much as men, as woman are more used to seeing the shapes of other women’s bodies in magazines and on social media. Secondly “centrefold syndrome” can arise, where women are objectified, especially when men view SEIM. This then can also give room to “trophyism”, especially seen in celebrity culture. This is where a woman is used as a trophy, as it were, alongside a famous personality. Sadly, this culture of “big name, woman as trophy” can be seen in American evangelicalism. This abuse of women can breed damaging and negative attitudes towards them from men - that they are to be used sexually, rather than loved.<br /> These facts and outcomes can be quite shocking, especially when one statistic says that the average age of exposure to SEIM is 11. This suggests that many children have seen SEIM before that young age. </p> <h3>How do we respond? </h3> <p>It can feel quite upsetting to reflect on this data. Perhaps we know people in our churches and youth groups who may struggle in this area. We ourselves may also be addicted to porn. There is a need to remember that our bodies aren’t entirely who we are.  It’s also what we are inside that matters. Nevertheless, reflecting on the book of Genesis, we see that we are created beings. We need to be those who reinforce the belief that bodies are good things and that we should look after them. We are made in the image of God and are living sacrifices to Him. SEIM is impersonal and therefore separates the body from the personality. Remember our feelings and longings are part of the Fall and sometimes these are broken. Let us not believe the lie, “You are what you feel”. Ultimately pornography is dehumanising. It removes the image of God from people. People become things to be used, not individuals to be loved and cherished.</p> <h3>Pastoral care</h3> <p>Robin then finished his talk by giving some practical tips: </p> <ol><li>Gate the eyes - block porn. People need to stop watching it before the heart can heal. Robin explained that people hate themselves for using porn and are scared to tell people they struggle in this area. </li> <li>Heal the heart. It is necessary to show plenty of grace. People will feel very shamed. This sin is forgivable; we do not adhere to the purity culture.  Life is not over when we sin in this area. We need to bring darkness into the light. Remember that whoever is struggling is a child of God and is saved by grace – saved by Jesus. </li> </ol><p>One way of healing the heart is to delight in God, loving what He loves and hating what He hates. As Thomas Watson says, “Until sin be bitter, Christ will not be sweet”. Finally, Robin reminded people of the difference between finite and infinite pleasure - SEIM is finite and Christ infinite. </p> <h3>What do churches need to do? </h3> <p>We need to TALK about the dangers of porn, in our families, youth groups and small groups. Russell Moore says, “The most dangerous sins to our Christian lives are the ones we think are anonymous, the ones we think no-one knows about, so we think get away with them”. This means building a culture of honesty within church, which can be helped by older members walking with younger members in their struggles. Churches should celebrate biblical marriage and ultimately the marriage of Jesus and His Church, in order to lay the foundation for healthy and fruitful sexual relationships.</p> <p>This was a helpful lecture and gave insight into pornography. What I found particularly useful was how men and women view pornography differently and how we can pastorally help people who struggle.</p> <p>To access the original lecture click <a href="https://www.oakhill.ac.uk/events/equip-the-porn-pandemic">here</a>.</p> <hr /><p>This article was originally published in the Winter 2023 edition of the TFT magazine, <em>Ascend</em>. Click the button below to download your copy.</p> <p>&#13; <style rel="stylesheet"> <!--/*--><![CDATA[/* ><!--*/ #button-2g6aqnoivqed{background:#fff;color:#000;border-color:#00599c;} #button-2g6aqnoivqed:hover{background:#00599c;color:#fff;border-color:#00599c;} /*--><!]]>*/ </style></p><div class="clearfix"></div>&#13; <a href="https://truefreedomtrust.co.uk/sites/default/files/newsletters/2023Q4ascend.pdf" class="gsc-button medium " id="button-2g6aqnoivqed">&#13; Download the Winter 2023 edition of Ascend </a> &#13; &#13; </div> <!-- END OUTPUT from 'themes/custom/gavias_charityplus/templates/field.html.twig' --> <!-- THEME DEBUG --> <!-- THEME HOOK: 'links__node' --> <!-- FILE NAME SUGGESTIONS: * links--node.html.twig x links.html.twig --> <!-- BEGIN OUTPUT from 'themes/custom/gavias_charityplus/templates/navigation/links.html.twig' --> <!-- END OUTPUT from 'themes/custom/gavias_charityplus/templates/navigation/links.html.twig' --> <!-- THEME DEBUG --> <!-- THEME HOOK: 'field' --> <!-- FILE NAME SUGGESTIONS: * field--node--field-post-format--article.html.twig * field--node--field-post-format.html.twig * field--node--article.html.twig * field--field-post-format.html.twig * field--list-string.html.twig x field.html.twig --> <!-- BEGIN OUTPUT from 'themes/custom/gavias_charityplus/templates/field.html.twig' --> <div class="field field--name-field-post-format field--type-list-string field--label-hidden field__item">Article</div> <!-- END OUTPUT from 'themes/custom/gavias_charityplus/templates/field.html.twig' --> <!-- THEME DEBUG --> <!-- THEME HOOK: 'field' --> <!-- FILE NAME SUGGESTIONS: * field--node--field-post-category--article.html.twig * field--node--field-post-category.html.twig * field--node--article.html.twig * field--field-post-category.html.twig * field--entity-reference.html.twig x field.html.twig --> <!-- BEGIN OUTPUT from 'themes/custom/gavias_charityplus/templates/field.html.twig' --> <div class="field field--name-field-post-category field--type-entity-reference field--label-hidden field__items"> <div class="field__item"><a href="/accountability" hreflang="en">Accountability</a></div> <div class="field__item"><a href="/church" hreflang="en">Church</a></div> <div class="field__item"><a href="/self-control" hreflang="en">Self Control</a></div> <div class="field__item"><a href="/supporting-others" hreflang="en">Supporting Others</a></div> </div> <!-- END OUTPUT from 'themes/custom/gavias_charityplus/templates/field.html.twig' --> <!-- THEME DEBUG --> <!-- THEME HOOK: 'field' --> <!-- FILE NAME SUGGESTIONS: * field--node--field-more-information--article.html.twig * field--node--field-more-information.html.twig * field--node--article.html.twig * field--field-more-information.html.twig * field--text-long.html.twig x field.html.twig --> <!-- BEGIN OUTPUT from 'themes/custom/gavias_charityplus/templates/field.html.twig' --> <div class="field field--name-field-more-information field--type-text-long field--label-hidden field__item"> <p><em>Please note that any external resources below are intended to complement the main answer given above and may not entirely match TFT's position.</em></p> <p>***for FAQs ONLY, replace this text with links to further articles, books, audio and video. Examples below for each media type.</p> <p> </p><div class="widget gsc-icon-box left text-dark">&#13; <div class="highlight-icon"><span class="icon fa fa-link"></span></div>&#13; <div class="highlight_content">&#13; <a href="***URL LINK"> <h4>Living Out article: 'Is it ok to be gay?' '</h4>&#13; </a> <div class="desc">This article (click link above) goes into more of the biblical passages.</div>&#13; &#13; </div>&#13; &#13; </div> &#13; <p> </p><div class="widget gsc-icon-box left text-dark">&#13; <div class="highlight-icon"><span class="icon fa fa-video-camera"></span></div>&#13; <div class="highlight_content">&#13; <a href="***URL LINK"> <h4>ERLC video: 'Is it ok to be gay?' </h4>&#13; </a> <div class="desc">***CHANGE VIEW MODE TO SOURCE HTML AND INSERT SHARED EMBED CODE FROM YOUTUBE HERE, BUT CHANGE WIDTH TO 100% TO MAKE IT MORE RESPONSIVE*** This video sets out some more arguments on the matter.</div>&#13; &#13; </div>&#13; &#13; </div> &#13; <p> </p><div class="widget gsc-icon-box left text-dark">&#13; <div class="highlight-icon"><span class="icon fa fa-headphones"></span></div>&#13; <div class="highlight_content">&#13; <a href="***URL LINK"> <h4>UCB podcast: 'Is it ok to be gay?' </h4>&#13; </a> <div class="desc">This podcast (click link above) details...</div>&#13; &#13; </div>&#13; &#13; </div> &#13; <p> </p><div class="widget gsc-icon-box left text-dark">&#13; <div class="highlight-icon"><span class="icon fa fa-book"></span></div>&#13; <div class="highlight_content">&#13; <a href="***URL LINK"> <h4>IVP book: 'Satisfaction Guaranteed' </h4>&#13; </a> <div class="desc">This book (click link above) details...</div>&#13; &#13; </div>&#13; &#13; </div> &#13; </div> <!-- END OUTPUT from 'themes/custom/gavias_charityplus/templates/field.html.twig' --> <!-- THEME DEBUG --> <!-- THEME HOOK: 'field' --> <!-- FILE NAME SUGGESTIONS: * field--node--field-author-information--article.html.twig * field--node--field-author-information.html.twig * field--node--article.html.twig * field--field-author-information.html.twig * field--string.html.twig x field.html.twig --> <!-- BEGIN OUTPUT from 'themes/custom/gavias_charityplus/templates/field.html.twig' --> <div class="field field--name-field-author-information field--type-string field--label-hidden field__items"> <div class="field__item">Written by Owen</div> </div> <!-- END OUTPUT from 'themes/custom/gavias_charityplus/templates/field.html.twig' --> Sun, 18 Feb 2024 15:32:54 +0000 Owen 648 at https://truefreedomtrust.co.uk The works of the Spirit https://truefreedomtrust.co.uk/works-spirit <!-- THEME DEBUG --> <!-- THEME HOOK: 'field' --> <!-- FILE NAME SUGGESTIONS: * field--node--title--article.html.twig x field--node--title.html.twig * field--node--article.html.twig * field--title.html.twig * field--string.html.twig * field.html.twig --> <!-- BEGIN OUTPUT from 'core/modules/node/templates/field--node--title.html.twig' --> <span property="schema:name">The works of the Spirit</span> <!-- END OUTPUT from 'core/modules/node/templates/field--node--title.html.twig' --> <!-- THEME DEBUG --> <!-- THEME HOOK: 'field' --> <!-- FILE NAME SUGGESTIONS: * field--node--field-image--article.html.twig * field--node--field-image.html.twig * field--node--article.html.twig * field--field-image.html.twig * field--image.html.twig x field.html.twig --> <!-- BEGIN OUTPUT from 'themes/custom/gavias_charityplus/templates/field.html.twig' --> <div class="field field--name-field-image field--type-image field--label-hidden field__item"> <!-- THEME DEBUG --> <!-- THEME HOOK: 'image_formatter' --> <!-- BEGIN OUTPUT from 'themes/custom/gavias_charityplus/templates/fields/image-formatter.html.twig' --> <div class="item-image"> <!-- THEME DEBUG --> <!-- THEME HOOK: 'image' --> <!-- BEGIN OUTPUT from 'core/modules/system/templates/image.html.twig' --> <img property="schema:image" loading="lazy" src="/sites/default/files/articles/Works%20of%20the%20spirit%201170%20x%20330.png" alt="women talking" typeof="foaf:Image" /> <!-- END OUTPUT from 'core/modules/system/templates/image.html.twig' --> </div> <!-- END OUTPUT from 'themes/custom/gavias_charityplus/templates/fields/image-formatter.html.twig' --> </div> <!-- END OUTPUT from 'themes/custom/gavias_charityplus/templates/field.html.twig' --> <!-- THEME DEBUG --> <!-- THEME HOOK: 'field' --> <!-- FILE NAME SUGGESTIONS: * field--node--uid--article.html.twig x field--node--uid.html.twig * field--node--article.html.twig * field--uid.html.twig * field--entity-reference.html.twig * field.html.twig --> <!-- BEGIN OUTPUT from 'core/modules/node/templates/field--node--uid.html.twig' --> <span rel="schema:author"> <!-- THEME DEBUG --> <!-- THEME HOOK: 'username' --> <!-- BEGIN OUTPUT from 'core/modules/user/templates/username.html.twig' --> <span lang="" about="/user/92" typeof="schema:Person" property="schema:name" datatype="">Owen</span> <!-- END OUTPUT from 'core/modules/user/templates/username.html.twig' --> </span> <!-- END OUTPUT from 'core/modules/node/templates/field--node--uid.html.twig' --> <!-- THEME DEBUG --> <!-- THEME HOOK: 'field' --> <!-- FILE NAME SUGGESTIONS: * field--node--created--article.html.twig x field--node--created.html.twig * field--node--article.html.twig * field--created.html.twig * field--created.html.twig * field.html.twig --> <!-- BEGIN OUTPUT from 'core/modules/node/templates/field--node--created.html.twig' --> <span property="schema:dateCreated" content="2024-02-08T15:19:56+00:00">Thu, 08/02/2024 - 15:19</span> <!-- END OUTPUT from 'core/modules/node/templates/field--node--created.html.twig' --> <!-- THEME DEBUG --> <!-- THEME HOOK: 'field' --> <!-- FILE NAME SUGGESTIONS: * field--node--body--article.html.twig * field--node--body.html.twig * field--node--article.html.twig * field--body.html.twig * field--text-with-summary.html.twig x field.html.twig --> <!-- BEGIN OUTPUT from 'themes/custom/gavias_charityplus/templates/field.html.twig' --> <div property="schema:text" class="field field--name-body field--type-text-with-summary field--label-hidden field__item"> <p>I grew up in a Christian home. My Mum is a Spirit-filled, born-again believer of Christ, and brought up my sister and I to attend church and Sunday school. My Dad left my Mum under quite heart-breaking circumstances when I was just 2 and moved about 30 miles away. We usually saw him at the weekend. He and Mum had been elders at a local Church of England, but upon his sudden departure, Mum felt unable to return to church.</p> <p>It took Mum some time to recover from Dad’s leaving and, alongside ill health and having two young daughters, she took a 3-year break from church. When I was 5, my godmother introduced us to a new evangelical church about 6 miles from home. This was a turning point for Mum, and my sister and I quickly got stuck into Sunday school. Our congregation were Bible-believing and Spirit-filled and we grew up with an awareness of God’s law.</p> <p> </p><div class="widget gsc-quote-text no-border" style="background:#59adc4;">&#13; <div class="widget-content">&#13; <div class="content" style="color:#fff;"><i style="color:#fff;" class="icon fa fa-quote-left"></i> The lady cried when she heard what I’d been going through; we cried together </div>&#13; </div>&#13; </div> &#13; <h3>Bullying and feeling different</h3> <p>Once I reached secondary school age, I realised that the niceties of primary school were over. Even though I attended a Catholic school with good safeguarding, I was bullied from day one all the way through to year 11. I was picked on by boys for being ugly and from girls for not making myself look pretty enough. I was frequently told that I was gay, but to be honest, I didn’t really understand what it meant, as I’d had no sexual feelings. I just thought I was a tomboy and was never one to follow the crowd.</p> <p>I do remember that when girls around me talked about pop artists and bands and raved about guys they thought were attractive, I’d generally think in my mind that the girls were more attractive. Prom night came in year 11 and I decided to make an effort with my appearance. Suddenly those people who’d bullied me for years were not insulting and were actually nice. I wore a beautiful dress, had a spray tan and wore heels, but I felt out of place. I felt like that wasn’t really me and people were accepting me for someone I wasn’t really like.</p> <p>The end of my school years and start of sixth form was difficult. My Dad took my sister and I on holiday and revealed to us that he had secretly re-married 5 years earlier and had another daughter. We found out we also had 3 stepsisters, all of whom knew everything about us and we knew nothing of them. Additionally, one of the elders (whom I saw as a father figure) at church died suddenly of cancer. As a 16 year old, I was heartbroken at his death and couldn’t make sense of what was happening in my life. I stopped going to church. In fact, I didn’t return until about 10 years later.</p> <h3>Boyfriends and same-sex feelings</h3> <p>I moved out of home at 19 to live closer to my work. When I was 21, I broke up with my long-term boyfriend (who I’d met at 11) because he didn’t want to come and live with me. I then joined a Christian dating site and, at 23, met another boyfriend who I did live with. My poor Mum tried to tell me that this wasn’t biblical, but I wasn’t interested. All my friends were living with boyfriends and I didn’t want to be left out. The relationship wasn’t a happy one. Three days after my boyfriend moved in he lost his job and we were both living off my low salary. I lost my virginity to him, but it didn’t work out and we broke up when I was 25.</p> <p>It was around this time where I started to feel sexual attractions towards women rather than men. I’d had sex and I knew what those feelings felt like - but those feelings were only naturally being roused by women and not towards men. At the same time, I felt I really needed to get back to church. I hadn’t really been happy since I left and realised that I couldn’t do life without God. </p> <p>Finding a home at church</p> <p>I started going to a church local to my house, where all the sermons seemed appropriate to what was happening in my life at the time (aside from my same-sex temptations). Outside of church the same-sex attractions were getting out of control. It felt like it was all I could think about. I was looking up gay celebrities, using porn sites, thinking about secret crushes I had at work and looking at gay dating websites. I stopped looking at women as people and more as sexual beings. I also started telling certain friends about what was happening. I so longed to go to a nightclub and just have a one-night stand, but something within me said no. I knew deep down that it was against God’s will, and once I opened up that path it would be difficult to come back from it.</p> <p>Unbeknown to her what was really going on, Mum invited me to a Christmas service at my childhood church at Christmas 2016 - I was 26 then. I heard God’s voice during that service: “It’s time to come home.” There had been a change in leadership since I left 10 years prior and most people in the church didn’t know I was Mum’s daughter. I was seen as myself, Jax. Everything felt different, lighter, exciting. I was obedient and left my church near to home to came back to the church I had known as a child.</p> <h3>Battling same-sex temptations</h3> <p>The worship and fellowship there were just amazing and I felt myself growing spiritually. However, this intensified the battle with same-sex feelings going on in my head. It was getting more and more difficult to cope mentally. After 6 months I plucked up the courage to tell two ladies separately at church how I was feeling. The first (one of our senior leaders) gently said to me, “We don’t love you any less knowing this information about you”, and that she didn’t believe that acting on my feelings was God’s best for me. I nearly cried at the love which was shown towards me. The second lady cried when she heard what I’d been going through; we cried together. The Holy Spirit moved her to tears. Both ladies helped me go through the Bible, counteracting with Scripture this battle going on in my head.</p> <p>We read Galatians 5:13-26, which talks of the Spirit and flesh being at war with one another. These verses almost jumped off the page and suddenly I could make sense of what I was going through. I prayed hard, “Lord I don’t want to feel like this. I choose to live by the Spirit, I CHOOSE THE SPIRIT.” Gradually this battle in my head lifted. I grew in such confidence at church, finding courage to firstly pray out loud, then pray for others out loud. God replaced my battle-weary head with peace of mind. I can’t say the same-sex attractions completely went away, but on the occasions where thoughts popped into my head, I always had the strength to speak Scripture at them and feel peace again. </p> <h3>God’s plan for me</h3> <p>I had reached an age when I started to feel quite depressed that I wouldn’t find a husband, and being married was a desire in my heart. The thought started creeping into my head that every man was either gay or married already! In summer 2019, my Mum felt God say, “Just see where Jax will be in two years.” When COVID lockdown came, I remember washing up in my kitchen and praying. “Lord you know my heart, you know what’s best for me, and you know better than me who would make me a good husband. I trust and lay in your hands that you will find me a husband.” I felt peace and any time a negative thought popped into my head I spoke “No, I trust you Lord” in response. Within 5 weeks I had a message on Christian Connection from my now husband. We got married in August 2021 - what an answer to my prayers and my Mum’s word from God!</p> <p>We are happily married and are both on fire for the Lord. I can’t say the same-sex feelings have ever completely gone, but I am open with my husband and there are no secrets. I know with using Scripture I can come against temptations. I believe God is calling me to use my testimony to help others. I was so excited to hear about TFT and to know that there is a support network out there for Christians with these attractions.</p> <h3>Ministering to others</h3> <p>There is a lot of talk about conversion therapy, which I am pleased to see that TFT do not agree with. My own testimony shows that these feelings may still exist, but we don’t have to act on them. They do not have to control us, because God is in control. He can use those who have same-sex attractions to help others. If God did remove these feelings from born-again believers, how could we minister and help others?</p> <p>Let’s see where God takes things next!</p> <hr /><p>This article was originally published in the Winter 2023 edition of the TFT magazine, <em>Ascend</em>. Click the button below to download your copy.</p> <p>&#13; <style rel="stylesheet"> <!--/*--><![CDATA[/* ><!--*/ #button-bh5s89kms8z8{background:#fff;color:#000;border-color:#00599c;} #button-bh5s89kms8z8:hover{background:#00599c;color:#fff;border-color:#00599c;} /*--><!]]>*/ </style></p><div class="clearfix"></div>&#13; <a href="https://truefreedomtrust.co.uk/sites/default/files/newsletters/2023Q4ascend.pdf" class="gsc-button medium " id="button-bh5s89kms8z8">&#13; Download the Winter 2023 edition of Ascend </a> &#13; &#13; </div> <!-- END OUTPUT from 'themes/custom/gavias_charityplus/templates/field.html.twig' --> <!-- THEME DEBUG --> <!-- THEME HOOK: 'links__node' --> <!-- FILE NAME SUGGESTIONS: * links--node.html.twig x links.html.twig --> <!-- BEGIN OUTPUT from 'themes/custom/gavias_charityplus/templates/navigation/links.html.twig' --> <!-- END OUTPUT from 'themes/custom/gavias_charityplus/templates/navigation/links.html.twig' --> <!-- THEME DEBUG --> <!-- THEME HOOK: 'field' --> <!-- FILE NAME SUGGESTIONS: * field--node--field-post-format--article.html.twig * field--node--field-post-format.html.twig * field--node--article.html.twig * field--field-post-format.html.twig * field--list-string.html.twig x field.html.twig --> <!-- BEGIN OUTPUT from 'themes/custom/gavias_charityplus/templates/field.html.twig' --> <div class="field field--name-field-post-format field--type-list-string field--label-hidden field__item">Personal Story</div> <!-- END OUTPUT from 'themes/custom/gavias_charityplus/templates/field.html.twig' --> <!-- THEME DEBUG --> <!-- THEME HOOK: 'field' --> <!-- FILE NAME SUGGESTIONS: * field--node--field-post-category--article.html.twig * field--node--field-post-category.html.twig * field--node--article.html.twig * field--field-post-category.html.twig * field--entity-reference.html.twig x field.html.twig --> <!-- BEGIN OUTPUT from 'themes/custom/gavias_charityplus/templates/field.html.twig' --> <div class="field field--name-field-post-category field--type-entity-reference field--label-hidden field__items"> <div class="field__item"><a href="/accountability" hreflang="en">Accountability</a></div> <div class="field__item"><a href="/church" hreflang="en">Church</a></div> <div class="field__item"><a href="/identity" hreflang="en">Identity</a></div> </div> <!-- END OUTPUT from 'themes/custom/gavias_charityplus/templates/field.html.twig' --> <!-- THEME DEBUG --> <!-- THEME HOOK: 'field' --> <!-- FILE NAME SUGGESTIONS: * field--node--field-more-information--article.html.twig * field--node--field-more-information.html.twig * field--node--article.html.twig * field--field-more-information.html.twig * field--text-long.html.twig x field.html.twig --> <!-- BEGIN OUTPUT from 'themes/custom/gavias_charityplus/templates/field.html.twig' --> <div class="field field--name-field-more-information field--type-text-long field--label-hidden field__item"> <p><em>Please note that any external resources below are intended to complement the main answer given above and may not entirely match TFT's position.</em></p> <p>***for FAQs ONLY, replace this text with links to further articles, books, audio and video. Examples below for each media type.</p> <p> </p><div class="widget gsc-icon-box left text-dark">&#13; <div class="highlight-icon"><span class="icon fa fa-link"></span></div>&#13; <div class="highlight_content">&#13; <a href="***URL LINK"> <h4>Living Out article: 'Is it ok to be gay?' '</h4>&#13; </a> <div class="desc">This article (click link above) goes into more of the biblical passages.</div>&#13; &#13; </div>&#13; &#13; </div> &#13; <p> </p><div class="widget gsc-icon-box left text-dark">&#13; <div class="highlight-icon"><span class="icon fa fa-video-camera"></span></div>&#13; <div class="highlight_content">&#13; <a href="***URL LINK"> <h4>ERLC video: 'Is it ok to be gay?' </h4>&#13; </a> <div class="desc">***CHANGE VIEW MODE TO SOURCE HTML AND INSERT SHARED EMBED CODE FROM YOUTUBE HERE, BUT CHANGE WIDTH TO 100% TO MAKE IT MORE RESPONSIVE*** This video sets out some more arguments on the matter.</div>&#13; &#13; </div>&#13; &#13; </div> &#13; <p> </p><div class="widget gsc-icon-box left text-dark">&#13; <div class="highlight-icon"><span class="icon fa fa-headphones"></span></div>&#13; <div class="highlight_content">&#13; <a href="***URL LINK"> <h4>UCB podcast: 'Is it ok to be gay?' </h4>&#13; </a> <div class="desc">This podcast (click link above) details...</div>&#13; &#13; </div>&#13; &#13; </div> &#13; <p> </p><div class="widget gsc-icon-box left text-dark">&#13; <div class="highlight-icon"><span class="icon fa fa-book"></span></div>&#13; <div class="highlight_content">&#13; <a href="***URL LINK"> <h4>IVP book: 'Satisfaction Guaranteed' </h4>&#13; </a> <div class="desc">This book (click link above) details...</div>&#13; &#13; </div>&#13; &#13; </div> &#13; </div> <!-- END OUTPUT from 'themes/custom/gavias_charityplus/templates/field.html.twig' --> <!-- THEME DEBUG --> <!-- THEME HOOK: 'field' --> <!-- FILE NAME SUGGESTIONS: * field--node--field-author-information--article.html.twig * field--node--field-author-information.html.twig * field--node--article.html.twig * field--field-author-information.html.twig * field--string.html.twig x field.html.twig --> <!-- BEGIN OUTPUT from 'themes/custom/gavias_charityplus/templates/field.html.twig' --> <div class="field field--name-field-author-information field--type-string field--label-hidden field__items"> <div class="field__item">Written by Jax</div> </div> <!-- END OUTPUT from 'themes/custom/gavias_charityplus/templates/field.html.twig' --> Thu, 08 Feb 2024 15:19:56 +0000 Owen 647 at https://truefreedomtrust.co.uk My battle for freedom from porn https://truefreedomtrust.co.uk/my-battle-freedom-porn <!-- THEME DEBUG --> <!-- THEME HOOK: 'field' --> <!-- FILE NAME SUGGESTIONS: * field--node--title--article.html.twig x field--node--title.html.twig * field--node--article.html.twig * field--title.html.twig * field--string.html.twig * field.html.twig --> <!-- BEGIN OUTPUT from 'core/modules/node/templates/field--node--title.html.twig' --> <span property="schema:name">My battle for freedom from porn</span> <!-- END OUTPUT from 'core/modules/node/templates/field--node--title.html.twig' --> <!-- THEME DEBUG --> <!-- THEME HOOK: 'field' --> <!-- FILE NAME SUGGESTIONS: * field--node--field-image--article.html.twig * field--node--field-image.html.twig * field--node--article.html.twig * field--field-image.html.twig * field--image.html.twig x field.html.twig --> <!-- BEGIN OUTPUT from 'themes/custom/gavias_charityplus/templates/field.html.twig' --> <div class="field field--name-field-image field--type-image field--label-hidden field__item"> <!-- THEME DEBUG --> <!-- THEME HOOK: 'image_formatter' --> <!-- BEGIN OUTPUT from 'themes/custom/gavias_charityplus/templates/fields/image-formatter.html.twig' --> <div class="item-image"> <!-- THEME DEBUG --> <!-- THEME HOOK: 'image' --> <!-- BEGIN OUTPUT from 'core/modules/system/templates/image.html.twig' --> <img property="schema:image" loading="lazy" src="/sites/default/files/articles/my%20battle%20for%20freedom%201170%20x%20330.png" alt="men talking over coffee" typeof="foaf:Image" /> <!-- END OUTPUT from 'core/modules/system/templates/image.html.twig' --> </div> <!-- END OUTPUT from 'themes/custom/gavias_charityplus/templates/fields/image-formatter.html.twig' --> </div> <!-- END OUTPUT from 'themes/custom/gavias_charityplus/templates/field.html.twig' --> <!-- THEME DEBUG --> <!-- THEME HOOK: 'field' --> <!-- FILE NAME SUGGESTIONS: * field--node--uid--article.html.twig x field--node--uid.html.twig * field--node--article.html.twig * field--uid.html.twig * field--entity-reference.html.twig * field.html.twig --> <!-- BEGIN OUTPUT from 'core/modules/node/templates/field--node--uid.html.twig' --> <span rel="schema:author"> <!-- THEME DEBUG --> <!-- THEME HOOK: 'username' --> <!-- BEGIN OUTPUT from 'core/modules/user/templates/username.html.twig' --> <span lang="" about="/user/92" typeof="schema:Person" property="schema:name" datatype="">Owen</span> <!-- END OUTPUT from 'core/modules/user/templates/username.html.twig' --> </span> <!-- END OUTPUT from 'core/modules/node/templates/field--node--uid.html.twig' --> <!-- THEME DEBUG --> <!-- THEME HOOK: 'field' --> <!-- FILE NAME SUGGESTIONS: * field--node--created--article.html.twig x field--node--created.html.twig * field--node--article.html.twig * field--created.html.twig * field--created.html.twig * field.html.twig --> <!-- BEGIN OUTPUT from 'core/modules/node/templates/field--node--created.html.twig' --> <span property="schema:dateCreated" content="2024-01-29T14:58:51+00:00">Mon, 29/01/2024 - 14:58</span> <!-- END OUTPUT from 'core/modules/node/templates/field--node--created.html.twig' --> <!-- THEME DEBUG --> <!-- THEME HOOK: 'field' --> <!-- FILE NAME SUGGESTIONS: * field--node--body--article.html.twig * field--node--body.html.twig * field--node--article.html.twig * field--body.html.twig * field--text-with-summary.html.twig x field.html.twig --> <!-- BEGIN OUTPUT from 'themes/custom/gavias_charityplus/templates/field.html.twig' --> <div property="schema:text" class="field field--name-body field--type-text-with-summary field--label-hidden field__item"> <p>I have been battling with porn for most of my life. My first encounter with hard core porn came between the ages of 11 and 12. I never thought at the time how much this would destroy me. Years passed and I would regularly watch videos or look at magazine images. At the age of 18, I made a commitment of faith, but, sadly, not very much changed in my behaviour. A week before my 21st birthday, my life with Jesus took a big step forward. I began getting help with my alcohol dependency, but my issue with porn remained unaddressed. The subject would come up in church but, as with many people, I would say, “Not me - I don’t do that sort of thing.”</p> <p> </p><div class="widget gsc-quote-text no-border" style="background:#59adc4;">&#13; <div class="widget-content">&#13; <div class="content" style="color:#fff;"><i style="color:#fff;" class="icon fa fa-quote-left"></i> I now better understand how this addiction takes hold of my mind </div>&#13; </div>&#13; </div> &#13; <h3>Slipping back</h3> <p>Sometime later, my old life re-surfaced. I moved away from following God and began a same-sex relationship - this came to end in 2008. In finding my way back to Christian fellowship, I began to pray for help with my porn addiction. My drinking had stopped and I had been dry for 8 or 9 years, which is still the case today. But porn remained a big issue - I would pray for help, but would keep on slipping back into using it; I think I only managed about 6 months of freedom from it. An accountability partner was recommended, yet knowingly I hid things - I would just have two computers and show my accountability partner the computer that I didn’t use for porn! Even with  the best intentions to stop, the addiction felt unbreakable. </p> <h3>Finding help</h3> <p>More recently, I was going through the “Your Version” Bible study guides and came across a 30-day guided programme called “Freedom from Porn”, so decided to sign up. When the 30 days were completed, I also found the related free app online (search on Apple or Android for “The Freedom Fight” or find the website <a href="https://thefreedomfight.org/">thefreedomfight.org)</a>. With help from the app, I have finally broken free from porn for an extended period. The recommendation to engage with an accountability partner, in order to be open with another person, became so important to me. Sharing this desire for support with the men’s group that I meet with monthly was not easy, but the benefits I have received from being honest in this area have encouraged me so much.  Since writing this review, I have been free from porn usage for over 150 days. What has also helped is daily Bible reading and praying. Nevertheless, there have been a few close calls with temptation to view porn; I can only say that God has strengthened me to resist. </p> <h3>Benefits of using software </h3> <p>How does the app work? Well, you need to be committed to a daily check-in. Firstly, you write down a few words about how you are feeling. There is a checklist to tick the word that best describes your mood. Then there are short videos to watch, which give you helpful information about the effects of porn; that leads to a better understanding of the way this addiction takes hold of your mind.  There is also the option to link up to an accountability friend, or to join a group, so that you can invite others to support you in this struggle.</p> <p>If this is your battle too, I do hope that you find an end to the fight. May I ask for your prayers in the temptations that I have, as I pray for all who read this, to take up the challenge to stop themselves? You can be free. </p> <h3>Ongoing challenges</h3> <p>The biggest thing that has changed in starting this process of release is how dangerous I see porn as, even “light” porn. Adverts for men’s clothing or fragrance can be triggering to me. God has pinpointed other issues since my victory, that I need to work on, like controlling my swearing. God’s ongoing mercy is essential in every area of my life, but I know that God is good.</p> <hr /><p>This article was originally published in the Winter 2023 edition of the TFT magazine, <em>Ascend</em>. Click the button below to download your copy.</p> <p>&#13; <style rel="stylesheet"> <!--/*--><![CDATA[/* ><!--*/ #button-a9dtovrn4tc9{background:#fff;color:#000;border-color:#00599c;} #button-a9dtovrn4tc9:hover{background:#00599c;color:#fff;border-color:#00599c;} /*--><!]]>*/ </style></p><div class="clearfix"></div>&#13; <a href="https://truefreedomtrust.co.uk/sites/default/files/newsletters/2023Q4ascend.pdf" class="gsc-button medium " id="button-a9dtovrn4tc9">&#13; Download the Winter 2023 edition of Ascend </a> &#13; &#13; <p>  </p> </div> <!-- END OUTPUT from 'themes/custom/gavias_charityplus/templates/field.html.twig' --> <!-- THEME DEBUG --> <!-- THEME HOOK: 'links__node' --> <!-- FILE NAME SUGGESTIONS: * links--node.html.twig x links.html.twig --> <!-- BEGIN OUTPUT from 'themes/custom/gavias_charityplus/templates/navigation/links.html.twig' --> <!-- END OUTPUT from 'themes/custom/gavias_charityplus/templates/navigation/links.html.twig' --> <!-- THEME DEBUG --> <!-- THEME HOOK: 'field' --> <!-- FILE NAME SUGGESTIONS: * field--node--field-post-format--article.html.twig * field--node--field-post-format.html.twig * field--node--article.html.twig * field--field-post-format.html.twig * field--list-string.html.twig x field.html.twig --> <!-- BEGIN OUTPUT from 'themes/custom/gavias_charityplus/templates/field.html.twig' --> <div class="field field--name-field-post-format field--type-list-string field--label-hidden field__item">Personal Story</div> <!-- END OUTPUT from 'themes/custom/gavias_charityplus/templates/field.html.twig' --> <!-- THEME DEBUG --> <!-- THEME HOOK: 'field' --> <!-- FILE NAME SUGGESTIONS: * field--node--field-post-category--article.html.twig * field--node--field-post-category.html.twig * field--node--article.html.twig * field--field-post-category.html.twig * field--entity-reference.html.twig x field.html.twig --> <!-- BEGIN OUTPUT from 'themes/custom/gavias_charityplus/templates/field.html.twig' --> <div class="field field--name-field-post-category field--type-entity-reference field--label-hidden field__items"> <div class="field__item"><a href="/accountability" hreflang="en">Accountability</a></div> <div class="field__item"><a href="/self-control" hreflang="en">Self Control</a></div> <div class="field__item"><a href="/singleness" hreflang="en">Singleness</a></div> <div class="field__item"><a href="/supporting-others" hreflang="en">Supporting Others</a></div> </div> <!-- END OUTPUT from 'themes/custom/gavias_charityplus/templates/field.html.twig' --> <!-- THEME DEBUG --> <!-- THEME HOOK: 'field' --> <!-- FILE NAME SUGGESTIONS: * field--node--field-more-information--article.html.twig * field--node--field-more-information.html.twig * field--node--article.html.twig * field--field-more-information.html.twig * field--text-long.html.twig x field.html.twig --> <!-- BEGIN OUTPUT from 'themes/custom/gavias_charityplus/templates/field.html.twig' --> <div class="field field--name-field-more-information field--type-text-long field--label-hidden field__item"> <p><em>Please note that any external resources below are intended to complement the main answer given above and may not entirely match TFT's position.</em></p> <p>***for FAQs ONLY, replace this text with links to further articles, books, audio and video. Examples below for each media type.</p> <p> </p><div class="widget gsc-icon-box left text-dark">&#13; <div class="highlight-icon"><span class="icon fa fa-link"></span></div>&#13; <div class="highlight_content">&#13; <a href="***URL LINK"> <h4>Living Out article: 'Is it ok to be gay?' '</h4>&#13; </a> <div class="desc">This article (click link above) goes into more of the biblical passages.</div>&#13; &#13; </div>&#13; &#13; </div> &#13; <p> </p><div class="widget gsc-icon-box left text-dark">&#13; <div class="highlight-icon"><span class="icon fa fa-video-camera"></span></div>&#13; <div class="highlight_content">&#13; <a href="***URL LINK"> <h4>ERLC video: 'Is it ok to be gay?' </h4>&#13; </a> <div class="desc">***CHANGE VIEW MODE TO SOURCE HTML AND INSERT SHARED EMBED CODE FROM YOUTUBE HERE, BUT CHANGE WIDTH TO 100% TO MAKE IT MORE RESPONSIVE*** This video sets out some more arguments on the matter.</div>&#13; &#13; </div>&#13; &#13; </div> &#13; <p> </p><div class="widget gsc-icon-box left text-dark">&#13; <div class="highlight-icon"><span class="icon fa fa-headphones"></span></div>&#13; <div class="highlight_content">&#13; <a href="***URL LINK"> <h4>UCB podcast: 'Is it ok to be gay?' </h4>&#13; </a> <div class="desc">This podcast (click link above) details...</div>&#13; &#13; </div>&#13; &#13; </div> &#13; <p> </p><div class="widget gsc-icon-box left text-dark">&#13; <div class="highlight-icon"><span class="icon fa fa-book"></span></div>&#13; <div class="highlight_content">&#13; <a href="***URL LINK"> <h4>IVP book: 'Satisfaction Guaranteed' </h4>&#13; </a> <div class="desc">This book (click link above) details...</div>&#13; &#13; </div>&#13; &#13; </div> &#13; </div> <!-- END OUTPUT from 'themes/custom/gavias_charityplus/templates/field.html.twig' --> <!-- THEME DEBUG --> <!-- THEME HOOK: 'field' --> <!-- FILE NAME SUGGESTIONS: * field--node--field-author-information--article.html.twig * field--node--field-author-information.html.twig * field--node--article.html.twig * field--field-author-information.html.twig * field--string.html.twig x field.html.twig --> <!-- BEGIN OUTPUT from 'themes/custom/gavias_charityplus/templates/field.html.twig' --> <div class="field field--name-field-author-information field--type-string field--label-hidden field__items"> <div class="field__item">Written by Colin</div> </div> <!-- END OUTPUT from 'themes/custom/gavias_charityplus/templates/field.html.twig' --> Mon, 29 Jan 2024 14:58:51 +0000 Owen 646 at https://truefreedomtrust.co.uk Can one walk upon the coals? https://truefreedomtrust.co.uk/can-one-walk-upon-coals <!-- THEME DEBUG --> <!-- THEME HOOK: 'field' --> <!-- FILE NAME SUGGESTIONS: * field--node--title--article.html.twig x field--node--title.html.twig * field--node--article.html.twig * field--title.html.twig * field--string.html.twig * field.html.twig --> <!-- BEGIN OUTPUT from 'core/modules/node/templates/field--node--title.html.twig' --> <span property="schema:name">Can one walk upon the coals?</span> <!-- END OUTPUT from 'core/modules/node/templates/field--node--title.html.twig' --> <!-- THEME DEBUG --> <!-- THEME HOOK: 'field' --> <!-- FILE NAME SUGGESTIONS: * field--node--field-image--article.html.twig * field--node--field-image.html.twig * field--node--article.html.twig * field--field-image.html.twig * field--image.html.twig x field.html.twig --> <!-- BEGIN OUTPUT from 'themes/custom/gavias_charityplus/templates/field.html.twig' --> <div class="field field--name-field-image field--type-image field--label-hidden field__item"> <!-- THEME DEBUG --> <!-- THEME HOOK: 'image_formatter' --> <!-- BEGIN OUTPUT from 'themes/custom/gavias_charityplus/templates/fields/image-formatter.html.twig' --> <div class="item-image"> <!-- THEME DEBUG --> <!-- THEME HOOK: 'image' --> <!-- BEGIN OUTPUT from 'core/modules/system/templates/image.html.twig' --> <img property="schema:image" loading="lazy" src="/sites/default/files/articles/can%20one%20walk%20upon%20the%20coals%201170%20x%20330.png" alt="walking on coals" typeof="foaf:Image" /> <!-- END OUTPUT from 'core/modules/system/templates/image.html.twig' --> </div> <!-- END OUTPUT from 'themes/custom/gavias_charityplus/templates/fields/image-formatter.html.twig' --> </div> <!-- END OUTPUT from 'themes/custom/gavias_charityplus/templates/field.html.twig' --> <!-- THEME DEBUG --> <!-- THEME HOOK: 'field' --> <!-- FILE NAME SUGGESTIONS: * field--node--uid--article.html.twig x field--node--uid.html.twig * field--node--article.html.twig * field--uid.html.twig * field--entity-reference.html.twig * field.html.twig --> <!-- BEGIN OUTPUT from 'core/modules/node/templates/field--node--uid.html.twig' --> <span rel="schema:author"> <!-- THEME DEBUG --> <!-- THEME HOOK: 'username' --> <!-- BEGIN OUTPUT from 'core/modules/user/templates/username.html.twig' --> <span lang="" about="/user/92" typeof="schema:Person" property="schema:name" datatype="">Owen</span> <!-- END OUTPUT from 'core/modules/user/templates/username.html.twig' --> </span> <!-- END OUTPUT from 'core/modules/node/templates/field--node--uid.html.twig' --> <!-- THEME DEBUG --> <!-- THEME HOOK: 'field' --> <!-- FILE NAME SUGGESTIONS: * field--node--created--article.html.twig x field--node--created.html.twig * field--node--article.html.twig * field--created.html.twig * field--created.html.twig * field.html.twig --> <!-- BEGIN OUTPUT from 'core/modules/node/templates/field--node--created.html.twig' --> <span property="schema:dateCreated" content="2024-01-09T14:35:37+00:00">Tue, 09/01/2024 - 14:35</span> <!-- END OUTPUT from 'core/modules/node/templates/field--node--created.html.twig' --> <!-- THEME DEBUG --> <!-- THEME HOOK: 'field' --> <!-- FILE NAME SUGGESTIONS: * field--node--body--article.html.twig * field--node--body.html.twig * field--node--article.html.twig * field--body.html.twig * field--text-with-summary.html.twig x field.html.twig --> <!-- BEGIN OUTPUT from 'themes/custom/gavias_charityplus/templates/field.html.twig' --> <div property="schema:text" class="field field--name-body field--type-text-with-summary field--label-hidden field__item"> <p><em>“Can a man walk on hot coals without his feet being scorched? So is he who sleeps with another man’s wife; no one who touches her will go unpunished.”</em> – Proverbs 6:28-29 (NIV)</p> <p>The short answer to the rhetorical question in Proverbs 6 (“can one walk upon the coals?”) is probably, “yes, you might get away with, but it’s wise not to take the risk”. If it were that easy, this article could stop right here! But we all know that we’re tempted to flirt with temptation, particularly sexual temptation. How can we convince ourselves to keep well away from temptation? Let’s use Proverbs 7 as a short three-act drama to illustrate what happens within us when we flirt with temptation and allow ourselves to progress on the stepping stones towards sexual sin. It’s a tragedy in three acts. The quotations below are from The Message translation/paraphrase, as it is quite hard-hitting and might help us to hear familiar verses in a new way.</p> <h3>Act 1 – We walk too close to temptation’s door</h3> <p><em>“As I stood at the window of my house looking out through the shutters, watching the mindless crowd stroll by, I spotted a young man without any sense. Arriving at the corner of the street where she lived, then turning up the path to her house. It was dusk, the evening coming on, the darkness thickening into night.”</em><br /> – Proverbs 7:6-12 (The Message)</p> <p>In this first act, our protagonist is pictured as a foolish young man walking close to the house where he knows the seductress lives: she represents sexual temptation, but really the focus is upon his foolishness in walking close to where she lives. </p> <p>The passage also mentions the time of day. For this young man, night-time was approaching. For many people, there can be a particular time of day (or time of the week/month/year) associated with vulnerability to sexual temptation – even being aware of when this is for you can help to prepare you to be ready to resist temptation’s pull. </p> <p>The application for us is to think about the ways we personally might walk in the direction of sexual sin. What are our “stepping stones” towards sexual temptation? These might include:</p> <ul><li>Places (actual locations where we may have “acted out” sexually in the past)</li> <li>Websites or apps (places online where temptation is only a click away)</li> <li>Trains of thought (fantasies or memories, perhaps about particular people from the past, that we know are unhelpful and likely to unsettle or arouse us)</li> </ul><h3>Act 2 – Temptation comes out to meet us</h3> <p><em>” Just then, a woman met him—she’d been lying in wait for him, dressed to seduce him. Brazen and brash she was, restless and roaming, never at home, walking the streets, loitering in the mall, hanging out at every corner in town. She threw her arms around him and kissed him, boldly took his arm and said, ‘I’ve got all the makings for a feast—today I made my offerings, my vows are all paid, So now I’ve come to find you, hoping to catch sight of your face—and here you are! I’ve spread fresh, clean sheets on my bed, colorful imported linens. My bed is aromatic with spices and exotic fragrances. Come, let’s make love all night, spend the night in ecstatic lovemaking! My husband’s not home; he’s away on business, and he won’t be back for a month.’”</em><br /> – Proverbs 7:13-20 (The Message)</p> <p>In the drama, the seductress is lying in wait for the young man, ready to take advantage when he is weak. For us, there might be actual people from the past who would be ready to drag us back into sexual immorality in a moment of weakness.</p> <p>But in our technological age, we also need to guard against the big organisations that know our weak spots all too well. For example, a streaming service like Netflix can build up over time a surprisingly accurate picture of the type of “click-bait” that will work well on us individually. For each of their products, they have a range of thumbnail images, from which they will pick the one that their algorithm thinks is most likely to make you click on it – perhaps one for this male actor and a different one for that female actress, carefully selected just for you! How do they know? Well, it will be based on your clicking history from the past. And for different people, there might be a streaming service or website or app that is a particular snare.So, Act 2 of this drama particularly invites us to ask ourselves in what ways does sexual sin come out to meet us? And how can we guard against such approaches?</p> <h3>Act 3 – The point of no return</h3> <p><em>"Soon she has him eating out of her hand, bewitched by her honeyed speech. Before you know it, he’s trotting behind her, like a calf led to the butcher shop, Like a stag lured into ambush and then shot with an arrow, Like a bird flying into a net not knowing that its flying life is over.”</em><br /> – Proverbs 7:21-23 (The Message)</p> <p>This is where the drama comes to its tragic conclusion. The young man was out walking in her neighbourhood at night (Act 1). She comes out to meet him and he stops to chat. And he listens as she flatters and sets the stage for the final act (Act 2). And only after all these other things have happened does he finally commit the sexual act (Act 3). At each of these stepping stones, he is free to make a wise decision to turn back, but it becomes increasingly difficult to resist.<br /> By Act 3, the young man has more or less surrendered himself to sexual sin. He is so far down the path of seduction that resistance seems all but impossible. We might think of times when we ourselves have felt helpless to do anything other than to follow through with sexual sin. But we will almost certainly have made unwise decisions earlier on the path to sexual immorality.</p> <h3>Epilogue – This is a serious matter</h3> <p><em>“So, friends, listen to me, take these words of mine most seriously.<br /> Don’t fool around with a woman like that; don’t even stroll through her neighborhood. Countless victims come under her spell; she’s the death of many a poor man. She runs a halfway house to hell, fits you out with a shroud and a coffin.”</em><br /> – Proverbs 7:24-27 (The Message)</p> <p>In the Epilogue, the focus comes upon the unnamed onlooker who is dispensing his words of advice. He calls us to take his warning seriously, and not to fool around with sexual temptation. We should look upon those drawn into sexual immorality with pity, because turning our back on God and embracing sexual sin is a route to spiritual death.</p> <h3>Afterword</h3> <p>Proverbs 7 is a dramatised warning not to go anywhere near sexual temptation. We are all vulnerable to temptation, and the time to protect oneself from being ensnared is not late at night, when we are tired and triggered. Rather, this passage invites us to steer well away from temptation’s door, to be very conscious of how particular people and devices might approach us at moments of weakness, and to be under no illusions about the ability of sexual temptation to entangle us and lead us away from God. We can be thankful to God for the wisdom of this book – let us take these words most seriously.<br />  </p> <hr /><p>This article was originally published in the Winter 2023 edition of the TFT magazine, <em>Ascend</em>. Click the button below to download your copy.</p> <p>&#13; <style rel="stylesheet"> <!--/*--><![CDATA[/* ><!--*/ #button-tuqllcmhcrap{background:#fff;color:#000;border-color:#00599c;} #button-tuqllcmhcrap:hover{background:#00599c;color:#fff;border-color:#00599c;} /*--><!]]>*/ </style></p><div class="clearfix"></div>&#13; <a href="https://truefreedomtrust.co.uk/sites/default/files/newsletters/2023Q4ascend.pdf" class="gsc-button medium " id="button-tuqllcmhcrap">&#13; Download the Winter 2023 edition of Ascend </a> &#13; &#13; </div> <!-- END OUTPUT from 'themes/custom/gavias_charityplus/templates/field.html.twig' --> <!-- THEME DEBUG --> <!-- THEME HOOK: 'links__node' --> <!-- FILE NAME SUGGESTIONS: * links--node.html.twig x links.html.twig --> <!-- BEGIN OUTPUT from 'themes/custom/gavias_charityplus/templates/navigation/links.html.twig' --> <!-- END OUTPUT from 'themes/custom/gavias_charityplus/templates/navigation/links.html.twig' --> <!-- THEME DEBUG --> <!-- THEME HOOK: 'field' --> <!-- FILE NAME SUGGESTIONS: * field--node--field-post-format--article.html.twig * field--node--field-post-format.html.twig * field--node--article.html.twig * field--field-post-format.html.twig * field--list-string.html.twig x field.html.twig --> <!-- BEGIN OUTPUT from 'themes/custom/gavias_charityplus/templates/field.html.twig' --> <div class="field field--name-field-post-format field--type-list-string field--label-hidden field__item">Article</div> <!-- END OUTPUT from 'themes/custom/gavias_charityplus/templates/field.html.twig' --> <!-- THEME DEBUG --> <!-- THEME HOOK: 'field' --> <!-- FILE NAME SUGGESTIONS: * field--node--field-post-category--article.html.twig * field--node--field-post-category.html.twig * field--node--article.html.twig * field--field-post-category.html.twig * field--entity-reference.html.twig x field.html.twig --> <!-- BEGIN OUTPUT from 'themes/custom/gavias_charityplus/templates/field.html.twig' --> <div class="field field--name-field-post-category field--type-entity-reference field--label-hidden field__items"> <div class="field__item"><a href="/accountability" hreflang="en">Accountability</a></div> <div class="field__item"><a href="/bible" hreflang="en">Biblical Teaching</a></div> <div class="field__item"><a href="/self-control" hreflang="en">Self Control</a></div> </div> <!-- END OUTPUT from 'themes/custom/gavias_charityplus/templates/field.html.twig' --> <!-- THEME DEBUG --> <!-- THEME HOOK: 'field' --> <!-- FILE NAME SUGGESTIONS: * field--node--field-more-information--article.html.twig * field--node--field-more-information.html.twig * field--node--article.html.twig * field--field-more-information.html.twig * field--text-long.html.twig x field.html.twig --> <!-- BEGIN OUTPUT from 'themes/custom/gavias_charityplus/templates/field.html.twig' --> <div class="field field--name-field-more-information field--type-text-long field--label-hidden field__item"> <p><em>Please note that any external resources below are intended to complement the main answer given above and may not entirely match TFT's position.</em></p> <p>***for FAQs ONLY, replace this text with links to further articles, books, audio and video. Examples below for each media type.</p> <p> </p><div class="widget gsc-icon-box left text-dark">&#13; <div class="highlight-icon"><span class="icon fa fa-link"></span></div>&#13; <div class="highlight_content">&#13; <a href="***URL LINK"> <h4>Living Out article: 'Is it ok to be gay?' '</h4>&#13; </a> <div class="desc">This article (click link above) goes into more of the biblical passages.</div>&#13; &#13; </div>&#13; &#13; </div> &#13; <p> </p><div class="widget gsc-icon-box left text-dark">&#13; <div class="highlight-icon"><span class="icon fa fa-video-camera"></span></div>&#13; <div class="highlight_content">&#13; <a href="***URL LINK"> <h4>ERLC video: 'Is it ok to be gay?' </h4>&#13; </a> <div class="desc">***CHANGE VIEW MODE TO SOURCE HTML AND INSERT SHARED EMBED CODE FROM YOUTUBE HERE, BUT CHANGE WIDTH TO 100% TO MAKE IT MORE RESPONSIVE*** This video sets out some more arguments on the matter.</div>&#13; &#13; </div>&#13; &#13; </div> &#13; <p> </p><div class="widget gsc-icon-box left text-dark">&#13; <div class="highlight-icon"><span class="icon fa fa-headphones"></span></div>&#13; <div class="highlight_content">&#13; <a href="***URL LINK"> <h4>UCB podcast: 'Is it ok to be gay?' </h4>&#13; </a> <div class="desc">This podcast (click link above) details...</div>&#13; &#13; </div>&#13; &#13; </div> &#13; <p> </p><div class="widget gsc-icon-box left text-dark">&#13; <div class="highlight-icon"><span class="icon fa fa-book"></span></div>&#13; <div class="highlight_content">&#13; <a href="***URL LINK"> <h4>IVP book: 'Satisfaction Guaranteed' </h4>&#13; </a> <div class="desc">This book (click link above) details...</div>&#13; &#13; </div>&#13; &#13; </div> &#13; </div> <!-- END OUTPUT from 'themes/custom/gavias_charityplus/templates/field.html.twig' --> <!-- THEME DEBUG --> <!-- THEME HOOK: 'field' --> <!-- FILE NAME SUGGESTIONS: * field--node--field-author-information--article.html.twig * field--node--field-author-information.html.twig * field--node--article.html.twig * field--field-author-information.html.twig * field--string.html.twig x field.html.twig --> <!-- BEGIN OUTPUT from 'themes/custom/gavias_charityplus/templates/field.html.twig' --> <div class="field field--name-field-author-information field--type-string field--label-hidden field__items"> <div class="field__item">Written by anonymously</div> </div> <!-- END OUTPUT from 'themes/custom/gavias_charityplus/templates/field.html.twig' --> Tue, 09 Jan 2024 14:35:37 +0000 Owen 644 at https://truefreedomtrust.co.uk Resources for women struggling with porn https://truefreedomtrust.co.uk/resources-women-struggling-porn <!-- THEME DEBUG --> <!-- THEME HOOK: 'field' --> <!-- FILE NAME SUGGESTIONS: * field--node--title--article.html.twig x field--node--title.html.twig * field--node--article.html.twig * field--title.html.twig * field--string.html.twig * field.html.twig --> <!-- BEGIN OUTPUT from 'core/modules/node/templates/field--node--title.html.twig' --> <span property="schema:name">Resources for women struggling with porn</span> <!-- END OUTPUT from 'core/modules/node/templates/field--node--title.html.twig' --> <!-- THEME DEBUG --> <!-- THEME HOOK: 'field' --> <!-- FILE NAME SUGGESTIONS: * field--node--field-image--article.html.twig * field--node--field-image.html.twig * field--node--article.html.twig * field--field-image.html.twig * field--image.html.twig x field.html.twig --> <!-- BEGIN OUTPUT from 'themes/custom/gavias_charityplus/templates/field.html.twig' --> <div class="field field--name-field-image field--type-image field--label-hidden field__item"> <!-- THEME DEBUG --> <!-- THEME HOOK: 'image_formatter' --> <!-- BEGIN OUTPUT from 'themes/custom/gavias_charityplus/templates/fields/image-formatter.html.twig' --> <div class="item-image"> <!-- THEME DEBUG --> <!-- THEME HOOK: 'image' --> <!-- BEGIN OUTPUT from 'core/modules/system/templates/image.html.twig' --> <img property="schema:image" loading="lazy" src="/sites/default/files/articles/resources%20for%20women%201170.png" alt="books for women" typeof="foaf:Image" /> <!-- END OUTPUT from 'core/modules/system/templates/image.html.twig' --> </div> <!-- END OUTPUT from 'themes/custom/gavias_charityplus/templates/fields/image-formatter.html.twig' --> </div> <!-- END OUTPUT from 'themes/custom/gavias_charityplus/templates/field.html.twig' --> <!-- THEME DEBUG --> <!-- THEME HOOK: 'field' --> <!-- FILE NAME SUGGESTIONS: * field--node--uid--article.html.twig x field--node--uid.html.twig * field--node--article.html.twig * field--uid.html.twig * field--entity-reference.html.twig * field.html.twig --> <!-- BEGIN OUTPUT from 'core/modules/node/templates/field--node--uid.html.twig' --> <span rel="schema:author"> <!-- THEME DEBUG --> <!-- THEME HOOK: 'username' --> <!-- BEGIN OUTPUT from 'core/modules/user/templates/username.html.twig' --> <span lang="" about="/user/92" typeof="schema:Person" property="schema:name" datatype="">Owen</span> <!-- END OUTPUT from 'core/modules/user/templates/username.html.twig' --> </span> <!-- END OUTPUT from 'core/modules/node/templates/field--node--uid.html.twig' --> <!-- THEME DEBUG --> <!-- THEME HOOK: 'field' --> <!-- FILE NAME SUGGESTIONS: * field--node--created--article.html.twig x field--node--created.html.twig * field--node--article.html.twig * field--created.html.twig * field--created.html.twig * field.html.twig --> <!-- BEGIN OUTPUT from 'core/modules/node/templates/field--node--created.html.twig' --> <span property="schema:dateCreated" content="2023-12-30T14:21:12+00:00">Sat, 30/12/2023 - 14:21</span> <!-- END OUTPUT from 'core/modules/node/templates/field--node--created.html.twig' --> <!-- THEME DEBUG --> <!-- THEME HOOK: 'field' --> <!-- FILE NAME SUGGESTIONS: * field--node--body--article.html.twig * field--node--body.html.twig * field--node--article.html.twig * field--body.html.twig * field--text-with-summary.html.twig x field.html.twig --> <!-- BEGIN OUTPUT from 'themes/custom/gavias_charityplus/templates/field.html.twig' --> <div property="schema:text" class="field field--name-body field--type-text-with-summary field--label-hidden field__item"> <p>At least it’s not porn.” This phrase ran through my head somehow giving personal validation to my choices as a young teenager to gaze upon historical artwork of unclothed persons, dwell on human anatomy in science textbooks, and re-watch scenes from some popular movies. I was allowed to see all of these things, so surely it wasn’t wrong. I kept telling myself, “it’s not porn,” but I was still using it as visual stimulation and it morphed into erotica in my mind. These desires and habits became ingrained, and the trajectory was set. As I got older and moved outside of a computer guarded by my parents, I sought stronger images and could no longer claim the excuse, “at least it’s not porn,” but rather had to admit that I had a real problem with pornography.</p> <p>I am not alone. Some statistics suggest that as many as 87% of Christian women have watched pornography. The Covenant Eyes website states that 15% of Christian women watch porn at least monthly. This number increases significantly as you look specifically at younger generations of women. Yet many churches and resources continue to portray pornography as a men’s problem, and women who need help can feel excluded. If that is you, know you are not alone.  Here are some helpful resources, specifically for Christian women struggling with pornography.</p> <p> </p><div class="widget gsc-quote-text no-border" style="background:#59adc4;">&#13; <div class="widget-content">&#13; <div class="content" style="color:#fff;"><i style="color:#fff;" class="icon fa fa-quote-left"></i> It’s the gospel that transforms hearts, minds and lives </div>&#13; </div>&#13; </div> &#13; <h4><a href="https://beggarsdaughter.com/">Beggarsdaughter.com</a> (blog)</h4> <h5>Associated resources: <em>Triggered </em>(free pdf). <em>Quenched: Discovering God’s Abundant Grace for Women Struggling with Pornography and Sexual Shame </em>(book) by Jessica Harris</h5> <p>This blog has significantly shaped how I think about recovery and freedom from sexual sin. In one of my favourite posts titled, “What Does Freedom From Pornography Look Like,” the author asks her reader to picture what their life would look like free from pornography. She suggests that far too often, people expect their life to stay as is, just without clicking on porn. This, she says, ignores the bigger picture of healing, redemption, and freedom that Christ brings into our whole lives.She talks about singleness, her own story, the need for better conversation in the church around women and pornography, hope and healing for those struggling, and more recently, as her life stage has changed, how her history with pornography has impacted her marriage and motherhood. She does not struggle with same sex attraction (SSA), but she has some posts that acknowledge the reality of SSA and how that can impact porn use. It was reading her posts and following some of the resources she suggested that led me to reading and thinking more about my own struggles with SSA.</p> <p>She has not added much to this platform in the past year, but her previous posts remain relevant and helpful. She also has a page of listed resources for Christian women struggling with pornography that includes more books, devotionals, small group resources and videos than I could mention here.</p> <p>One resource also available through her website is a free pdf titled, <a href="https://beggarsdaughter.com/free-resources/triggered/"><em>Triggered</em></a>. She considers three categories of triggers: internal, external, and inevitable. After defining each category, she develops what is unique to each type of trigger both in how it manifests in our lives and in how we best respond. This practical and realistic tool could also be helpful when considering triggers related to SSA not just pornography.</p> <p>More recently, Jessica Harris has released a new book titled, Quenched, that I would highly recommend. This whole book centres around the story of Jesus and the woman at the well in John 4. It is not a book of practical steps to break free from porn, but rather one that solely points to Christ and how his love meets us in our places of shame and offers living water. </p> <p>This book came out in 2023, more than a decade since my days of being trapped in pornography, but God used it to reveal shadows of shame still hiding in corners of my heart that need healing. The title, Quenched, comes from the picture that water not only can be used to put out fires already ablaze, but can also soak the ground so future fires won’t be able to break out. May we be so quenched in living water with our desires fulfilled in Christ that the fires of sin cannot find a foothold in our lives.</p> <h4><em>Dirty Girls Come Clean</em> (book) by Crystal Renaud Day</h4> <h5>Associated resources: <em>90 Days to Wholeness</em> (devotional). <a href="https://sherecovery.com">sherecovery.com</a> (website).</h5> <p>Crystal Renaud Day first released a book in 2011 titled, Dirty Girls Come Clean. This is a short, accessible read that brings light to women trapped in pornography through Crystal’s own testimony and suggested steps for moving towards healing. She describes these steps using the acronym SCARS, encouraging one to Surrender to God, Confess, seek Accountability, take Responsibility, and Share. This is a great place to start if you want to know you’re not alone and get some ideas for how to begin seeking freedom from porn.</p> <p><em>90 Days to Wholeness</em> develops those steps further into an interactive devotional. Each day there is a scripture verse, a short thought, and a question/prompt for the reader to answer. The author wisely recognizes that these steps are less about behavior and more about the heart. As with many things, it would be easy to give surface level answers to the prompts, but it’s in really sitting with them and allowing God to draw to mind the honest deeper state of your heart that you will likely find the exercise of answering the questions more helpful.</p> <p>As her training and ministry expanded, Crystal founded <a href="https://sherecovery.com/">SheRecovery.com</a>. This is now a paid membership-based platform where women addicted to pornography can find help and community. The basic monthly membership (currently $25 USD/month) provides access to unlimited meetings, much like Alcoholics Anonymous, which happen daily on Zoom. However, based in the USA, only a few of the meetings occur at times that would be generally reasonable in the UK time zone. The premium membership (currently $30 USD/month) also allows access to a private chat group for community. This paid platform was set up after I was already well into in my recovery, so for me, it didn’t seem worth joining, but I can see how it could be beneficial for someone especially in the height of their struggle. If you are outside the United States, the website will convert into dollars from your currency when you pay.</p> <p><a href="https://sherecovery.com/"><em>SheRecovery.com</em></a> also offers some free resources. Most notably, their podcast allows you to hear from counsellors, theologians, authors and others who speak about faith, pornography, recovery and freedom. There is also a free Facebook group in which many women find community and a place to ask questions and share struggles. A decade ago, I found that group quite helpful, but since the paid community options have emerged, I have found the Facebook group less well moderated and some of the ideas posted need to be considered with a bit more wisdom and discernment.</p> <h4><em>Restored: A Woman’s Guide to Overcoming Pornography</em> (book) by Alice Taylor</h4> <p>This is the most comprehensive and practical book that I have read for women and pornography. It uses personal stories, biology/science, and faith/theology to provide a well-rounded assessment of pornography, addiction, and recovery. Then it offers practical questions for reflection and action steps to connect the material to your own life and road to recovery. I appreciated that the author defines addiction, but also recognizes that you don’t need to be clinically addicted to pornography to need help in this area. She also draws out some things specific to women like how your menstrual cycle can impact desire and temptation.</p> <p>When discussing accountability partners, she recognizes that for SSA women it may be tricky finding a woman with whom to share intimately about your struggle with pornography without it becoming a trigger for SSA. While this is not primarily a book about SSA, it was nice to have that seen and recognized. Also, some of the chapters on intimacy and right thinking about God in light of struggling with sexual sin are absolutely applicable to SSA even for those not struggling with pornography.<br /> The chapter on masturbation provides one of the most grace-filled yet wisdom-driven discussions I have heard on this topic. Even at our TFT women’s conference earlier this year, there were different perspectives put forth about masturbation. Recognising there are differing views even among believers, the author does not mandate what is right or wrong, but rather provides a structure to think through your motivation and what is going on in your mind, heart, and body at a time you might choose to masturbate. She helps you consider what is right and helpful in your own recovery and walk with Christ.</p> <p>There is some danger inherent in any book that describes steps to recovery. Namely, it can provide the false sense that simply going through the steps will necessarily lead to healing and a diminished struggle. This book and these steps may be a tool God chooses to use, but it’s valuable to remember that it’s the gospel that transforms hearts, minds, and lives.</p> <p> </p> <hr /><p>This article was originally published in the Winter 2023 edition of the TFT magazine, <em>Ascend</em>. Click the button below to download your copy.</p> <p>&#13; <style rel="stylesheet"> <!--/*--><![CDATA[/* ><!--*/ #button-synlxsdxt965{background:#fff;color:#000;border-color:#00599c;} #button-synlxsdxt965:hover{background:#00599c;color:#fff;border-color:#00599c;} /*--><!]]>*/ </style></p><div class="clearfix"></div>&#13; <a href="https://truefreedomtrust.co.uk/sites/default/files/newsletters/2023Q4ascend.pdf" class="gsc-button medium " id="button-synlxsdxt965">&#13; Download the Winter 2023 edition of Ascend </a> &#13; &#13; </div> <!-- END OUTPUT from 'themes/custom/gavias_charityplus/templates/field.html.twig' --> <!-- THEME DEBUG --> <!-- THEME HOOK: 'links__node' --> <!-- FILE NAME SUGGESTIONS: * links--node.html.twig x links.html.twig --> <!-- BEGIN OUTPUT from 'themes/custom/gavias_charityplus/templates/navigation/links.html.twig' --> <!-- END OUTPUT from 'themes/custom/gavias_charityplus/templates/navigation/links.html.twig' --> <!-- THEME DEBUG --> <!-- THEME HOOK: 'field' --> <!-- FILE NAME SUGGESTIONS: * field--node--field-post-format--article.html.twig * field--node--field-post-format.html.twig * field--node--article.html.twig * field--field-post-format.html.twig * field--list-string.html.twig x field.html.twig --> <!-- BEGIN OUTPUT from 'themes/custom/gavias_charityplus/templates/field.html.twig' --> <div class="field field--name-field-post-format field--type-list-string field--label-hidden field__item">Article</div> <!-- END OUTPUT from 'themes/custom/gavias_charityplus/templates/field.html.twig' --> <!-- THEME DEBUG --> <!-- THEME HOOK: 'field' --> <!-- FILE NAME SUGGESTIONS: * field--node--field-post-category--article.html.twig * field--node--field-post-category.html.twig * field--node--article.html.twig * field--field-post-category.html.twig * field--entity-reference.html.twig x field.html.twig --> <!-- BEGIN OUTPUT from 'themes/custom/gavias_charityplus/templates/field.html.twig' --> <div class="field field--name-field-post-category field--type-entity-reference field--label-hidden field__items"> <div class="field__item"><a href="/accountability" hreflang="en">Accountability</a></div> <div class="field__item"><a href="/self-control" hreflang="en">Self Control</a></div> <div class="field__item"><a href="/supporting-others" hreflang="en">Supporting Others</a></div> </div> <!-- END OUTPUT from 'themes/custom/gavias_charityplus/templates/field.html.twig' --> <!-- THEME DEBUG --> <!-- THEME HOOK: 'field' --> <!-- FILE NAME SUGGESTIONS: * field--node--field-more-information--article.html.twig * field--node--field-more-information.html.twig * field--node--article.html.twig * field--field-more-information.html.twig * field--text-long.html.twig x field.html.twig --> <!-- BEGIN OUTPUT from 'themes/custom/gavias_charityplus/templates/field.html.twig' --> <div class="field field--name-field-more-information field--type-text-long field--label-hidden field__item"> <p><em>Please note that any external resources below are intended to complement the main answer given above and may not entirely match TFT's position.</em></p> <p>***for FAQs ONLY, replace this text with links to further articles, books, audio and video. Examples below for each media type.</p> <p> </p><div class="widget gsc-icon-box left text-dark">&#13; <div class="highlight-icon"><span class="icon fa fa-link"></span></div>&#13; <div class="highlight_content">&#13; <a href="***URL LINK"> <h4>Living Out article: 'Is it ok to be gay?' '</h4>&#13; </a> <div class="desc">This article (click link above) goes into more of the biblical passages.</div>&#13; &#13; </div>&#13; &#13; </div> &#13; <p> </p><div class="widget gsc-icon-box left text-dark">&#13; <div class="highlight-icon"><span class="icon fa fa-video-camera"></span></div>&#13; <div class="highlight_content">&#13; <a href="***URL LINK"> <h4>ERLC video: 'Is it ok to be gay?' </h4>&#13; </a> <div class="desc">***CHANGE VIEW MODE TO SOURCE HTML AND INSERT SHARED EMBED CODE FROM YOUTUBE HERE, BUT CHANGE WIDTH TO 100% TO MAKE IT MORE RESPONSIVE*** This video sets out some more arguments on the matter.</div>&#13; &#13; </div>&#13; &#13; </div> &#13; <p> </p><div class="widget gsc-icon-box left text-dark">&#13; <div class="highlight-icon"><span class="icon fa fa-headphones"></span></div>&#13; <div class="highlight_content">&#13; <a href="***URL LINK"> <h4>UCB podcast: 'Is it ok to be gay?' </h4>&#13; </a> <div class="desc">This podcast (click link above) details...</div>&#13; &#13; </div>&#13; &#13; </div> &#13; <p> </p><div class="widget gsc-icon-box left text-dark">&#13; <div class="highlight-icon"><span class="icon fa fa-book"></span></div>&#13; <div class="highlight_content">&#13; <a href="***URL LINK"> <h4>IVP book: 'Satisfaction Guaranteed' </h4>&#13; </a> <div class="desc">This book (click link above) details...</div>&#13; &#13; </div>&#13; &#13; </div> &#13; </div> <!-- END OUTPUT from 'themes/custom/gavias_charityplus/templates/field.html.twig' --> <!-- THEME DEBUG --> <!-- THEME HOOK: 'field' --> <!-- FILE NAME SUGGESTIONS: * field--node--field-author-information--article.html.twig * field--node--field-author-information.html.twig * field--node--article.html.twig * field--field-author-information.html.twig * field--string.html.twig x field.html.twig --> <!-- BEGIN OUTPUT from 'themes/custom/gavias_charityplus/templates/field.html.twig' --> <div class="field field--name-field-author-information field--type-string field--label-hidden field__items"> <div class="field__item">Written by Sarah</div> </div> <!-- END OUTPUT from 'themes/custom/gavias_charityplus/templates/field.html.twig' --> Sat, 30 Dec 2023 14:21:12 +0000 Owen 643 at https://truefreedomtrust.co.uk How God set me free https://truefreedomtrust.co.uk/how-god-set-me-free <!-- THEME DEBUG --> <!-- THEME HOOK: 'field' --> <!-- FILE NAME SUGGESTIONS: * field--node--title--article.html.twig x field--node--title.html.twig * field--node--article.html.twig * field--title.html.twig * field--string.html.twig * field.html.twig --> <!-- BEGIN OUTPUT from 'core/modules/node/templates/field--node--title.html.twig' --> <span property="schema:name">How God set me free</span> <!-- END OUTPUT from 'core/modules/node/templates/field--node--title.html.twig' --> <!-- THEME DEBUG --> <!-- THEME HOOK: 'field' --> <!-- FILE NAME SUGGESTIONS: * field--node--field-image--article.html.twig * field--node--field-image.html.twig * field--node--article.html.twig * field--field-image.html.twig * field--image.html.twig x field.html.twig --> <!-- BEGIN OUTPUT from 'themes/custom/gavias_charityplus/templates/field.html.twig' --> <div class="field field--name-field-image field--type-image field--label-hidden field__item"> <!-- THEME DEBUG --> <!-- THEME HOOK: 'image_formatter' --> <!-- BEGIN OUTPUT from 'themes/custom/gavias_charityplus/templates/fields/image-formatter.html.twig' --> <div class="item-image"> <!-- THEME DEBUG --> <!-- THEME HOOK: 'image' --> <!-- BEGIN OUTPUT from 'core/modules/system/templates/image.html.twig' --> <img property="schema:image" loading="lazy" src="/sites/default/files/articles/god-set-me-free-1170-x330.jpg" alt="bird cage" typeof="foaf:Image" /> <!-- END OUTPUT from 'core/modules/system/templates/image.html.twig' --> </div> <!-- END OUTPUT from 'themes/custom/gavias_charityplus/templates/fields/image-formatter.html.twig' --> </div> <!-- END OUTPUT from 'themes/custom/gavias_charityplus/templates/field.html.twig' --> <!-- THEME DEBUG --> <!-- THEME HOOK: 'field' --> <!-- FILE NAME SUGGESTIONS: * field--node--uid--article.html.twig x field--node--uid.html.twig * field--node--article.html.twig * field--uid.html.twig * field--entity-reference.html.twig * field.html.twig --> <!-- BEGIN OUTPUT from 'core/modules/node/templates/field--node--uid.html.twig' --> <span rel="schema:author"> <!-- THEME DEBUG --> <!-- THEME HOOK: 'username' --> <!-- BEGIN OUTPUT from 'core/modules/user/templates/username.html.twig' --> <span lang="" about="/user/92" typeof="schema:Person" property="schema:name" datatype="">Owen</span> <!-- END OUTPUT from 'core/modules/user/templates/username.html.twig' --> </span> <!-- END OUTPUT from 'core/modules/node/templates/field--node--uid.html.twig' --> <!-- THEME DEBUG --> <!-- THEME HOOK: 'field' --> <!-- FILE NAME SUGGESTIONS: * field--node--created--article.html.twig x field--node--created.html.twig * field--node--article.html.twig * field--created.html.twig * field--created.html.twig * field.html.twig --> <!-- BEGIN OUTPUT from 'core/modules/node/templates/field--node--created.html.twig' --> <span property="schema:dateCreated" content="2023-06-14T12:24:37+00:00">Wed, 14/06/2023 - 13:24</span> <!-- END OUTPUT from 'core/modules/node/templates/field--node--created.html.twig' --> <!-- THEME DEBUG --> <!-- THEME HOOK: 'field' --> <!-- FILE NAME SUGGESTIONS: * field--node--body--article.html.twig * field--node--body.html.twig * field--node--article.html.twig * field--body.html.twig * field--text-with-summary.html.twig x field.html.twig --> <!-- BEGIN OUTPUT from 'themes/custom/gavias_charityplus/templates/field.html.twig' --> <div property="schema:text" class="field field--name-body field--type-text-with-summary field--label-hidden field__item"> <p>In my late teens, I adopted a stray budgie that had flown in through my next door neighbour’s window and landed on his head whilst he was asleep. After trying unsuccessfully to locate the owner of the bird, I kept the budgie, naming it Wally (after the neighbour), not knowing that it was actually a female! Uneasy with keeping birds in cages, I left Wally’s cage door open for her to come and go as she pleased. She loved to have a fly around the room, but always returned to her cage after her excursions. I was fascinated by the fact that every day, she chose to return to captivity, even though in the natural world she would be a wild bird, free to fly anywhere she pleased.</p> <p>As a same sex attracted female, now married to my husband for thirty three years, I have often felt like Wally the budgie; as a Christian, I am set free from the bondage of sin, and yet time and time again I have returned to the ‘cage’ of secret fantasies and desires, never enjoying true freedom. I loved verses in the Bible that speak of a believer’s freedom in Christ (e.g. ‘So if the Son sets you free, you will be free indeed.’ John 8:36) but deep down, I knew that I wasn’t really experiencing that kind of freedom. </p> <p> </p><div class="widget gsc-quote-text no-border" style="background:#59adc4;">&#13; <div class="widget-content">&#13; <div class="content" style="color:#fff;"><i style="color:#fff;" class="icon fa fa-quote-left"></i> As a Christian, I am set free from sin  </div>&#13; </div>&#13; </div> &#13; <p>From a very young age, I had lived in a fantasy world, probably using my thought life as an escape from reality. Even as young as 4 or 5, I remember fantasising that I was a man, always the hero in my dreams, rescuing a distressed female. As I became a teenager, the fantasies became romantic with me and any girl or woman that I happened to have a crush on at the time. And then entering adulthood, these thoughts became sexualised and felt more dangerous as the line between fantasy and reality was becoming blurred. I think I must have set up some kind of neural pathways in my brain from a very young age, so that my brain became programmed to need fantasy and escape on a daily basis.</p> <p>As I approached my fiftieth birthday in 2019, I became particularly distressed about my inner life not matching up to my outward Christian appearance, and I became desperate for change. My family and I attend the Summer New Wine conference each year, and this particular year, my husband and I went forward in response to a great talk to make a deeper commitment in our ministry. As we stepped forward to the front, a woman came bounding up to us and started to speak words from God about our ministry, prophesying into various situations and hurts that we had experienced as church leaders. She then noticed my name badge and said that the name Catherine means pure, and that God sees me as His pure daughter. As she said these words, I found myself screaming very loudly. (Just as a side note, I do not usually do things like this and feel uncomfortable when people scream or yell in church gatherings, so I was just as shocked as everyone else at the noise that came out of my mouth!) My legs then felt very weak and I had to get to the floor. I remember being in a position as if giving birth, and taking lots of deep breaths. All I could think was that I could trust God, whatever He may be doing to me, and so I wanted to breathe in as much of the Holy Spirit as I could. Another lady then came up to me and said that God was doing a new thing in me and that it was a time of new birth. I don’t know how long I was on the floor, but afterwards, I was unable to walk properly for a good half hour.<br /> So what on earth was God doing to me and in me? At the time, I had no idea what was happening, but it felt very freeing, whatever it was. For a few months after this, I didn’t have a single sexual thought or desire. </p> <p>Surely God hadn’t taken away all my sexual desires?! But after a few months, thoughts started to return, but I was able to fight them. I didn’t actually want them anymore, but just longed for the presence of God that I had felt so tangibly at New Wine. I haven’t been perfect since; there have been a couple of occasions when I let fantasies control my mind again, and I have also found that my attractions are still towards females. But what has changed is that I am not controlled by my desires or thoughts anymore. I feel free at last! And because I am experiencing true freedom, I feel much more confident in sharing the Gospel with others now, as I truly believe in and am experiencing the freedom that Jesus promises to His believers. I know that He can do for others what He has done for me. I am also able to look people in the eye now, without the feeling that I am hiding something all the time. And the ‘new birth’ that was spoken over me at New Wine has included a much deeper involvement with TFT. Lockdown made it so much easier for me to join meetings as everything went online, and I am gradually being drawn in to being part of this ministry which I am really excited about.</p> <p>I know we will not experience perfection this side of Heaven, but I do believe that it should be every believer’s experience to be truly free. God deals with each of us differently, and so freedom won’t look the same for each of us, and we don’t have to scream loudly and lie on the floor to experience it. He will deal with us in whatever way we need, and we can trust Him completely to take us on a journey that leads us out of the cage and to being ‘free indeed’.</p> <hr /><p>This article was originally published in the Summer 2023 edition of the TFT magazine, <em>Ascend</em>. Click the button below to download your copy.</p> <p>&#13; <style rel="stylesheet"> <!--/*--><![CDATA[/* ><!--*/ #button-xjm42957vx1b{background:#fff;color:#000;border-color:#00599c;} #button-xjm42957vx1b:hover{background:#00599c;color:#fff;border-color:#00599c;} /*--><!]]>*/ </style></p><div class="clearfix"></div>&#13; <a href="https://truefreedomtrust.co.uk/sites/default/files/newsletters/2023Q2ascend.pdf" class="gsc-button medium " id="button-xjm42957vx1b">&#13; Download the Summer 2023 edition of Ascend </a> &#13; &#13; <p>To give space to discuss certain articles in greater depth, the TFT staff team will be recording occasional podcasts under the banner “Ascend Higher”, covering the issues raised in a more conversational style. To hear it for yourself, you can use the audio player below.</p> <iframe width="100%" height="166" scrolling="no" frameborder="no" allow="autoplay" src="https://w.soundcloud.com/player/?url=https%3A//api.soundcloud.com/tracks/1526276887&amp;color=%23ff5500&amp;auto_play=false&amp;hide_related=false&amp;show_comments=true&amp;show_user=true&amp;show_reposts=false&amp;show_teaser=true"></iframe><div style="font-size: 10px; color: #cccccc;line-break: anywhere;word-break: normal;overflow: hidden;white-space: nowrap;text-overflow: ellipsis; font-family: Interstate,Lucida Grande,Lucida Sans Unicode,Lucida Sans,Garuda,Verdana,Tahoma,sans-serif;font-weight: 100;"><a href="https://soundcloud.com/true-freedom-trust" title="True Freedom Trust" target="_blank" style="color: #cccccc; text-decoration: none;">True Freedom Trust</a> · <a href="https://soundcloud.com/true-freedom-trust/ascend-higher-episode-13-how-god-set-me-free" title="Ascend Higher Episode 13 - How God Set me Free" target="_blank" style="color: #cccccc; text-decoration: none;">Ascend Higher Episode 13 - How God Set me Free</a></div> </div> <!-- END OUTPUT from 'themes/custom/gavias_charityplus/templates/field.html.twig' --> <!-- THEME DEBUG --> <!-- THEME HOOK: 'links__node' --> <!-- FILE NAME SUGGESTIONS: * links--node.html.twig x links.html.twig --> <!-- BEGIN OUTPUT from 'themes/custom/gavias_charityplus/templates/navigation/links.html.twig' --> <!-- END OUTPUT from 'themes/custom/gavias_charityplus/templates/navigation/links.html.twig' --> <!-- THEME DEBUG --> <!-- THEME HOOK: 'field' --> <!-- FILE NAME SUGGESTIONS: * field--node--field-post-format--article.html.twig * field--node--field-post-format.html.twig * field--node--article.html.twig * field--field-post-format.html.twig * field--list-string.html.twig x field.html.twig --> <!-- BEGIN OUTPUT from 'themes/custom/gavias_charityplus/templates/field.html.twig' --> <div class="field field--name-field-post-format field--type-list-string field--label-hidden field__item">Ascend Higher</div> <!-- END OUTPUT from 'themes/custom/gavias_charityplus/templates/field.html.twig' --> <!-- THEME DEBUG --> <!-- THEME HOOK: 'field' --> <!-- FILE NAME SUGGESTIONS: * field--node--field-post-category--article.html.twig * field--node--field-post-category.html.twig * field--node--article.html.twig * field--field-post-category.html.twig * field--entity-reference.html.twig x field.html.twig --> <!-- BEGIN OUTPUT from 'themes/custom/gavias_charityplus/templates/field.html.twig' --> <div class="field field--name-field-post-category field--type-entity-reference field--label-hidden field__items"> <div class="field__item"><a href="/accountability" hreflang="en">Accountability</a></div> <div class="field__item"><a href="/contentment" hreflang="en">Contentment</a></div> <div class="field__item"><a href="/self-control" hreflang="en">Self Control</a></div> </div> <!-- END OUTPUT from 'themes/custom/gavias_charityplus/templates/field.html.twig' --> <!-- THEME DEBUG --> <!-- THEME HOOK: 'field' --> <!-- FILE NAME SUGGESTIONS: * field--node--field-more-information--article.html.twig * field--node--field-more-information.html.twig * field--node--article.html.twig * field--field-more-information.html.twig * field--text-long.html.twig x field.html.twig --> <!-- BEGIN OUTPUT from 'themes/custom/gavias_charityplus/templates/field.html.twig' --> <div class="field field--name-field-more-information field--type-text-long field--label-hidden field__item"> <p><em>Please note that any external resources below are intended to complement the main answer given above and may not entirely match TFT's position.</em></p> <p>***for FAQs ONLY, replace this text with links to further articles, books, audio and video. Examples below for each media type.</p> <p> </p><div class="widget gsc-icon-box left text-dark">&#13; <div class="highlight-icon"><span class="icon fa fa-link"></span></div>&#13; <div class="highlight_content">&#13; <a href="***URL LINK"> <h4>Living Out article: 'Is it ok to be gay?' '</h4>&#13; </a> <div class="desc">This article (click link above) goes into more of the biblical passages.</div>&#13; &#13; </div>&#13; &#13; </div> &#13; <p> </p><div class="widget gsc-icon-box left text-dark">&#13; <div class="highlight-icon"><span class="icon fa fa-video-camera"></span></div>&#13; <div class="highlight_content">&#13; <a href="***URL LINK"> <h4>ERLC video: 'Is it ok to be gay?' </h4>&#13; </a> <div class="desc">***CHANGE VIEW MODE TO SOURCE HTML AND INSERT SHARED EMBED CODE FROM YOUTUBE HERE, BUT CHANGE WIDTH TO 100% TO MAKE IT MORE RESPONSIVE*** This video sets out some more arguments on the matter.</div>&#13; &#13; </div>&#13; &#13; </div> &#13; <p> </p><div class="widget gsc-icon-box left text-dark">&#13; <div class="highlight-icon"><span class="icon fa fa-headphones"></span></div>&#13; <div class="highlight_content">&#13; <a href="***URL LINK"> <h4>UCB podcast: 'Is it ok to be gay?' </h4>&#13; </a> <div class="desc">This podcast (click link above) details...</div>&#13; &#13; </div>&#13; &#13; </div> &#13; <p> </p><div class="widget gsc-icon-box left text-dark">&#13; <div class="highlight-icon"><span class="icon fa fa-book"></span></div>&#13; <div class="highlight_content">&#13; <a href="***URL LINK"> <h4>IVP book: 'Satisfaction Guaranteed' </h4>&#13; </a> <div class="desc">This book (click link above) details...</div>&#13; &#13; </div>&#13; &#13; </div> &#13; </div> <!-- END OUTPUT from 'themes/custom/gavias_charityplus/templates/field.html.twig' --> <!-- THEME DEBUG --> <!-- THEME HOOK: 'field' --> <!-- FILE NAME SUGGESTIONS: * field--node--field-author-information--article.html.twig * field--node--field-author-information.html.twig * field--node--article.html.twig * field--field-author-information.html.twig * field--string.html.twig x field.html.twig --> <!-- BEGIN OUTPUT from 'themes/custom/gavias_charityplus/templates/field.html.twig' --> <div class="field field--name-field-author-information field--type-string field--label-hidden field__items"> <div class="field__item">Written by Catherine</div> </div> <!-- END OUTPUT from 'themes/custom/gavias_charityplus/templates/field.html.twig' --> Wed, 14 Jun 2023 12:24:37 +0000 Owen 619 at https://truefreedomtrust.co.uk Being an unmarrried elder https://truefreedomtrust.co.uk/being-unmarrried-elder <!-- THEME DEBUG --> <!-- THEME HOOK: 'field' --> <!-- FILE NAME SUGGESTIONS: * field--node--title--article.html.twig x field--node--title.html.twig * field--node--article.html.twig * field--title.html.twig * field--string.html.twig * field.html.twig --> <!-- BEGIN OUTPUT from 'core/modules/node/templates/field--node--title.html.twig' --> <span property="schema:name">Being an unmarrried elder</span> <!-- END OUTPUT from 'core/modules/node/templates/field--node--title.html.twig' --> <!-- THEME DEBUG --> <!-- THEME HOOK: 'field' --> <!-- FILE NAME SUGGESTIONS: * field--node--field-image--article.html.twig * field--node--field-image.html.twig * field--node--article.html.twig * field--field-image.html.twig * field--image.html.twig x field.html.twig --> <!-- BEGIN OUTPUT from 'themes/custom/gavias_charityplus/templates/field.html.twig' --> <div class="field field--name-field-image field--type-image field--label-hidden field__item"> <!-- THEME DEBUG --> <!-- THEME HOOK: 'image_formatter' --> <!-- BEGIN OUTPUT from 'themes/custom/gavias_charityplus/templates/fields/image-formatter.html.twig' --> <div class="item-image"> <!-- THEME DEBUG --> <!-- THEME HOOK: 'image' --> <!-- BEGIN OUTPUT from 'core/modules/system/templates/image.html.twig' --> <img property="schema:image" loading="lazy" src="/sites/default/files/articles/unmarried-eldar-1170-x-330.jpg" alt="man building a wall" typeof="foaf:Image" /> <!-- END OUTPUT from 'core/modules/system/templates/image.html.twig' --> </div> <!-- END OUTPUT from 'themes/custom/gavias_charityplus/templates/fields/image-formatter.html.twig' --> </div> <!-- END OUTPUT from 'themes/custom/gavias_charityplus/templates/field.html.twig' --> <!-- THEME DEBUG --> <!-- THEME HOOK: 'field' --> <!-- FILE NAME SUGGESTIONS: * field--node--uid--article.html.twig x field--node--uid.html.twig * field--node--article.html.twig * field--uid.html.twig * field--entity-reference.html.twig * field.html.twig --> <!-- BEGIN OUTPUT from 'core/modules/node/templates/field--node--uid.html.twig' --> <span rel="schema:author"> <!-- THEME DEBUG --> <!-- THEME HOOK: 'username' --> <!-- BEGIN OUTPUT from 'core/modules/user/templates/username.html.twig' --> <span lang="" about="/user/92" typeof="schema:Person" property="schema:name" datatype="">Owen</span> <!-- END OUTPUT from 'core/modules/user/templates/username.html.twig' --> </span> <!-- END OUTPUT from 'core/modules/node/templates/field--node--uid.html.twig' --> <!-- THEME DEBUG --> <!-- THEME HOOK: 'field' --> <!-- FILE NAME SUGGESTIONS: * field--node--created--article.html.twig x field--node--created.html.twig * field--node--article.html.twig * field--created.html.twig * field--created.html.twig * field.html.twig --> <!-- BEGIN OUTPUT from 'core/modules/node/templates/field--node--created.html.twig' --> <span property="schema:dateCreated" content="2023-04-27T10:57:06+00:00">Thu, 27/04/2023 - 11:57</span> <!-- END OUTPUT from 'core/modules/node/templates/field--node--created.html.twig' --> <!-- THEME DEBUG --> <!-- THEME HOOK: 'field' --> <!-- FILE NAME SUGGESTIONS: * field--node--body--article.html.twig * field--node--body.html.twig * field--node--article.html.twig * field--body.html.twig * field--text-with-summary.html.twig x field.html.twig --> <!-- BEGIN OUTPUT from 'themes/custom/gavias_charityplus/templates/field.html.twig' --> <div property="schema:text" class="field field--name-body field--type-text-with-summary field--label-hidden field__item"> <p>Independent evangelical churches very rarely appoint single men as elders. Personally, I don’t know any other single elders. The reasons for this are cultural, historical and a mis-reading of Bible teaching. The key texts used in the argument against single elders are 1 Timothy 3:2 where the elder is to be the husband of ‘but one wife’ and Titus 1:6 which again talks about the elder being a husband of ‘but one wife’ and ‘whose children believe’. If you follow through this line of interpretation, the teaching in Titus also implies that a man who is married, but without children, is also prohibited from the role of elder as would be a widower. Other texts are used to shore up this position. Those who understand the original Greek much better than I ever could, argue that the focus of this ‘but one wife’ phrase is about sexual purity and fidelity. As a single man in an eldership role, I need therefore to ensure that my Christian walk is morally pure. I am not restricted by God from the role of elder because I am wife-less. I have been given the blessing of a being a member of a church that accepts this understanding of Bible teaching. The membership also recognises the teaching of Paul in 1 Corinthians 7 about how the state of singleness can enable a person to serve the Lord wholeheartedly given that they do not have family commitments which need attention. The result is that two years ago the church invited me to join the eldership. In this article, I reflect on the encouragements and challenges I have faced and how the Lord enables me to serve in this role.</p> <p> </p><div class="widget gsc-quote-text no-border" style="background:#59adc4;">&#13; <div class="widget-content">&#13; <div class="content" style="color:#fff;"><i style="color:#fff;" class="icon fa fa-quote-left"></i> His ways are far above ours and it has been a privilege to be involved in His work </div>&#13; </div>&#13; </div> &#13; <h3>Deepening my faith</h3> <p>In the economy of God, serving Him and His people leads not to deprivation for individuals, but to great blessing. I think I always understood this, but since taking on eldership responsibilities, the truth of it has become more and more apparent. I have been reminded that the church, local and universal, is the apple of God’s eye and He is building it. A church is not mine or yours, but His. The result is that I must rely on the builder to do the work only He can do. The way to do this is to pray, and do so continually. </p> <p>I have seen my own prayer life take off as I realise that much of what I am involved in is beyond my control and often beyond my understanding. Of course, as we pray, we see how God loves to answer prayer. The result for me has been a strengthening of my faith with an increasing reliance on God. <br /> During the last two years, I have witnessed some terrible things said and done by people who claim to be believers. I have feared at times for the church and its people. I have been at my wits’ end in some situations, wondering what will happen next. To pray and trust God was the only thing to do. Surprise, surprise! This is the place where God meets us and rescues us from our fears and doubts. He has proved completely reliable. His ways are far above ours and it has been a privilege to be involved in His work.</p> <h3>Finding support</h3> <p>Being a single man has had its challenges in these circumstances. I have needed to recognise that I am a part of a team of elders and that I need to share with them all what is going on for me. I need to hold myself accountable to them and lead a transparent life. Not easy when many of my struggles with same-sex attraction have involved shame and seeking to cover myself up and hide from others. Again, the Lord enables and has provided support for me. I am grateful for a network of wise friends who complement peer support. Many have extensive pastoring experience and have been more than willing to share their own learning with me. I have also developed and deepened my accountability relationships, which add rigour to my walking with the Lord in purity.<br /> The result is that, whilst I am single, I have not considered myself single-handed in the task of eldership.</p> <h3>Using my gifts and experiences </h3> <p>Before I was asked to be an elder, I had a growing sense that the Lord was drawing me into caring pastorally in a church context. I was conscious of His prompting. I prayed about it and waited. Before long, and out of the blue, an invitation came to consider joining the eldership. It seemed that the Lord had been preparing me for this time. I also became aware that my gifts and experiences also matched some of the needs of the church and contributed to those of the existing eldership. Some say that, if you do not feel drawn to the work of eldership, then don’t do it! I was honest about my experiences of same-sex attraction. I shared my testimony with the eldership. To my surprise, they shared some of this detail with the wider church and yet it did not prompt concern. This encouraged me and subsequently can see how past experiences are enabling me to serve people. I am continually amazed at how God uses that which I consider the most painful in my life for the building up of His church. It is yet another illustration of how God’s ways are so far beyond ours. </p> <p>A couple of areas of how elders serve in my church prompted some anxiety. We regularly lead services, including the Lord’s Supper, and also teach regularly. Neither of these I feel are my strong points, especially preaching on a Sunday. Thankfully, ‘teaching’ is widely defined and I can contribute in various ways. To my surprise, I was encouraged into the pulpit one Sunday to preach. The Lord blessed me and others, so I am contemplating preaching again in the not too distant future. Becoming an elder has definitely resulted in being stretched in my faith and increased my willingness to serving in new ways.</p> <h3>Being single</h3> <p>Becoming an elder as a single man has prompted me to take even more care of how I ‘manage’ myself and my life. I can see dangers in immersing myself in church work to the extent I don’t keep sufficient watch on how I am living my own life. For example, I know I need relationships with people who ask me how I am doing. Yes, people in my church do ask, but I need conversations where I do not feel slightly guarded. In psychological terms, I am even more conscious of the need for appropriate boundaries in different contexts. I enjoy those conversations where I can talk about nothing in particular. They are a gift and an opportunity to relax with those who know me well and feel they can be rude to me! </p> <p>Over a third of church members live a single life. Being single is enabling me to connect, support and empathise with them. I can ask questions which married friends might not think about asking. I have developed formal and informal accountability relationships with some. Having the role of elder gives me permission to ask some pointed questions of people and opens up conversations that previously I would not have had. My knowledge of same-sex attraction is allowing me to teach and support people facing questions in this area of life and relationships. I find plenty of opportunities to signpost the work of TFT! On a practical note, I do have more flexibility than others when responding to needs. My employment also gives me freedom to meet people for a coffee at odd times of the day. I am proving the truth of Paul’s teaching about singleness, that it gives opportunities to serve that others might not have.</p> <h3>Spiritual warfare</h3> <p>Sometimes the term ’under-shepherd of the flock’ is used to describe the work of an elder or pastor. This draws upon the teaching of Peter in 1 Peter 5:2, where he encourages the elders to consider themselves as the shepherds of God’s flock. The Chief Shepherd is Christ and we are to do His will and work. Indeed, He will hold me accountable for what I do in the role. Eldership is a heavy task and without depending fully on God, I am not up to it. It is a spiritual task. The wolves are always on the lookout for those they can devour and lead away from Christ. I have become acutely aware of the need for me to pray for church members regularly and in an informed way. I find it easy to fill my hours with activity and need to set time aside for prayer. I also need to prioritise studying God’s word and helping others to do likewise. In this way, they will become more aware of God and His call upon their lives. There is certainly much practical care I and others need, but the spiritual care has to be the focus in my role. </p> <p>I am in the war myself and sometimes it feels very much like it when attacks on the sheep occur. So, I need to submit to His Word and also to my fellow elders. This is never easy for someone so self-willed as me, but is an essential discipline if I am to be a faithful and useful servant. Please pray for me. Indeed, please pray for all leaders single or married that they may stand firm in the war and serve you well on Christ’s behalf.</p> <hr /><p>This article was originally published in the Spring 2023 edition of the TFT magazine, <em>Ascend</em>. Click the button below to download your copy.</p> <p>&#13; <style rel="stylesheet"> <!--/*--><![CDATA[/* ><!--*/ #button-t6ccd9xo60tu{background:#fff;color:#000;border-color:#00599c;} #button-t6ccd9xo60tu:hover{background:#00599c;color:#fff;border-color:#00599c;} /*--><!]]>*/ </style></p><div class="clearfix"></div>&#13; <a href="https://truefreedomtrust.co.uk/sites/default/files/newsletters/2023Q1ascend.pdf" class="gsc-button medium " id="button-t6ccd9xo60tu">&#13; Download the Spring 2023 edition of Ascend </a> &#13; &#13; </div> <!-- END OUTPUT from 'themes/custom/gavias_charityplus/templates/field.html.twig' --> <!-- THEME DEBUG --> <!-- THEME HOOK: 'links__node' --> <!-- FILE NAME SUGGESTIONS: * links--node.html.twig x links.html.twig --> <!-- BEGIN OUTPUT from 'themes/custom/gavias_charityplus/templates/navigation/links.html.twig' --> <!-- END OUTPUT from 'themes/custom/gavias_charityplus/templates/navigation/links.html.twig' --> <!-- THEME DEBUG --> <!-- THEME HOOK: 'field' --> <!-- FILE NAME SUGGESTIONS: * field--node--field-post-format--article.html.twig * field--node--field-post-format.html.twig * field--node--article.html.twig * field--field-post-format.html.twig * field--list-string.html.twig x field.html.twig --> <!-- BEGIN OUTPUT from 'themes/custom/gavias_charityplus/templates/field.html.twig' --> <div class="field field--name-field-post-format field--type-list-string field--label-hidden field__item">Personal Story</div> <!-- END OUTPUT from 'themes/custom/gavias_charityplus/templates/field.html.twig' --> <!-- THEME DEBUG --> <!-- THEME HOOK: 'field' --> <!-- FILE NAME SUGGESTIONS: * field--node--field-post-category--article.html.twig * field--node--field-post-category.html.twig * field--node--article.html.twig * field--field-post-category.html.twig * field--entity-reference.html.twig x field.html.twig --> <!-- BEGIN OUTPUT from 'themes/custom/gavias_charityplus/templates/field.html.twig' --> <div class="field field--name-field-post-category field--type-entity-reference field--label-hidden field__items"> <div class="field__item"><a href="/accountability" hreflang="en">Accountability</a></div> <div class="field__item"><a href="/relationships" hreflang="en">Godly Relationships</a></div> <div class="field__item"><a href="/singleness" hreflang="en">Singleness</a></div> </div> <!-- END OUTPUT from 'themes/custom/gavias_charityplus/templates/field.html.twig' --> <!-- THEME DEBUG --> <!-- THEME HOOK: 'field' --> <!-- FILE NAME SUGGESTIONS: * field--node--field-more-information--article.html.twig * field--node--field-more-information.html.twig * field--node--article.html.twig * field--field-more-information.html.twig * field--text-long.html.twig x field.html.twig --> <!-- BEGIN OUTPUT from 'themes/custom/gavias_charityplus/templates/field.html.twig' --> <div class="field field--name-field-more-information field--type-text-long field--label-hidden field__item"> <p><em>Please note that any external resources below are intended to complement the main answer given above and may not entirely match TFT's position.</em></p> <p>***for FAQs ONLY, replace this text with links to further articles, books, audio and video. Examples below for each media type.</p> <p> </p><div class="widget gsc-icon-box left text-dark">&#13; <div class="highlight-icon"><span class="icon fa fa-link"></span></div>&#13; <div class="highlight_content">&#13; <a href="***URL LINK"> <h4>Living Out article: 'Is it ok to be gay?' '</h4>&#13; </a> <div class="desc">This article (click link above) goes into more of the biblical passages.</div>&#13; &#13; </div>&#13; &#13; </div> &#13; <p> </p><div class="widget gsc-icon-box left text-dark">&#13; <div class="highlight-icon"><span class="icon fa fa-video-camera"></span></div>&#13; <div class="highlight_content">&#13; <a href="***URL LINK"> <h4>ERLC video: 'Is it ok to be gay?' </h4>&#13; </a> <div class="desc">***CHANGE VIEW MODE TO SOURCE HTML AND INSERT SHARED EMBED CODE FROM YOUTUBE HERE, BUT CHANGE WIDTH TO 100% TO MAKE IT MORE RESPONSIVE*** This video sets out some more arguments on the matter.</div>&#13; &#13; </div>&#13; &#13; </div> &#13; <p> </p><div class="widget gsc-icon-box left text-dark">&#13; <div class="highlight-icon"><span class="icon fa fa-headphones"></span></div>&#13; <div class="highlight_content">&#13; <a href="***URL LINK"> <h4>UCB podcast: 'Is it ok to be gay?' </h4>&#13; </a> <div class="desc">This podcast (click link above) details...</div>&#13; &#13; </div>&#13; &#13; </div> &#13; <p> </p><div class="widget gsc-icon-box left text-dark">&#13; <div class="highlight-icon"><span class="icon fa fa-book"></span></div>&#13; <div class="highlight_content">&#13; <a href="***URL LINK"> <h4>IVP book: 'Satisfaction Guaranteed' </h4>&#13; </a> <div class="desc">This book (click link above) details...</div>&#13; &#13; </div>&#13; &#13; </div> &#13; </div> <!-- END OUTPUT from 'themes/custom/gavias_charityplus/templates/field.html.twig' --> <!-- THEME DEBUG --> <!-- THEME HOOK: 'field' --> <!-- FILE NAME SUGGESTIONS: * field--node--field-author-information--article.html.twig * field--node--field-author-information.html.twig * field--node--article.html.twig * field--field-author-information.html.twig * field--string.html.twig x field.html.twig --> <!-- BEGIN OUTPUT from 'themes/custom/gavias_charityplus/templates/field.html.twig' --> <div class="field field--name-field-author-information field--type-string field--label-hidden field__items"> <div class="field__item">Written by Stefan</div> </div> <!-- END OUTPUT from 'themes/custom/gavias_charityplus/templates/field.html.twig' --> Thu, 27 Apr 2023 10:57:06 +0000 Owen 608 at https://truefreedomtrust.co.uk