Why would God make someone gay and then deny them a loving, committed same-sex relationship?

Why would a God of love make someone gay and then deny them the right to be in a loving, committed same-sex relationship?

This question assumes that God made someone gay. So the first point is that it's not been proven that people are born with same-sex attractions (see FAQ "What causes same-sex attraction?"). Secondly, the question ignores the biblical truth that we live in a fallen world where every one of us has desires that God calls us to deny. In fact, Jesus calls every one of his followers to deny some things that they would like to do (Matt 16:24) and we are all called to give up anything that becomes more important to us than God (eg Matt 19:16-22).

Another assumption in the question is that everyone has a "right" to a sexual relationship. While this is unquestionably a value of our culture, it is not a biblical value: indeed, the single celibate life is highly praised in the Bible as a fulfilling life (see 1 Cor 7:8,32) and wonderfully modelled in the lives of Jesus and Paul.

It also leads to wider questions. If "loving and committed" are the only criteria we apply to sexual relationships, then what about polygamous marriages or polyamorous relationships? Why bother with an age of consent?

In addition, rather than just treating this as an abstract question, we need to remember that God deals with us each personally. For example, God allowed a man called Job in the Bible to be denied everything he possessed (family, fortune and health). For Job, this was a test to see whether he would follow God even through the extreme difficulties he endured. After God responded to Job's complaints, Job recognised that he was not worthy to judge God's actions, even though God had not justified what had happened to Job (see Job 40:1-5).

Ultimately, though, this comes down to a matter of whether we are willing to allow God to set the boundaries for our lives, even when they don't make sense to us. If we are only willing to obey God's word when we agree with it, then we are not really submitting to Him as God at all - more just recruiting Him as a spiritual adviser.

Click here for a complete list of FAQs