Being in an accountability relationship has been a source of great blessing in my life and, therefore, writing an article on the topic is a positive step forward for me. I am aware, though, that this subject is not always one that is met by others with the enthusiasm I view it.

From around about the age of 10 or 11, I became very conscious of being attracted, both emotionally and physically, to my male school friends rather than to my female school friends. I hadn’t chosen to have those feelings and I spent most of my teenage years fighting against them and tormenting myself with guilt over them.

God is love (1 John 4:8). This truth about God is used by some people to argue that, therefore, God must approve of any relationship that our culture defines as loving. But there are two key flaws to this argument, and we discover both of them as we more fully understand what God is like.

After I confessed my struggle with same-sex desires to a couple of my friends, I acknowledged that I could not fight this battle alone. If I was going to be victorious, I needed someone to come alongside me and help me. My two friends were very loving and gracious as I unburdened myself to them.

When asked to write this article I was forced to the realisation that I am a 30-year-old male choosing celibacy. That is probably relatively unusual. The teacher in me couldn’t resist loosely dividing this into three areas: what does it mean to be celibate, what can help us achieve that goal and why bother?

One of the most frequently asked questions when I speak at churches and conferences on the subject of same-sex temptations is this: “Is it sinful for someone simply to be attracted to a person of the same-sex?” This article is written in part to provide a comprehensive and thought-through response.