We recognise within TFT that there is a range of opinion on how people describe their sexual feelings and why. In the following three opinion pieces, David, Russ and Christine each explain the language that they prefer, along with their reasoning. At TFT, we don’t have an official “line” on the best vocabulary to use to describe a prevailing pattern of sexual feelings towards those of the same-sex. Whatever terms you choose to adopt, we would encourage you to respect that others will have settled on alternative preferred language for themselves, often for good reasons.

"Pride" is a book that was recommended by my Crosslands tutor for helping to clarify both the meaning of ‘concupiscence’ and the current issues surrounding it. I’m studying on their seminary programme, children’s and youth ministry track. When it came time to write my essay on ‘The Image of God’, I realised this book that was sitting on my shelf might be quite helpful! "Pride" is a book all about identity and how this gets distorted. It’s about worship and idolatry, and how we can end up worshipping ourselves (hence the name "Pride") instead of God.

Much of the narrative rhythm of the Old Testament seems be along the lines of this: God’s people receive His abundant favour; they promise their allegiance to him; but then each time their basest desires trump their love of God. This pattern recurs at Eden, Babel, the Flood, with the Golden Calf, and even in the lives of their judges and kings. 

I recently had to leave a local church because the new pastor and I disagreed about same-sex attraction (SSA). That church was no longer helping me grow in the likeness of Christ or allowing me to follow God’s call on my life for His kingdom. It was a prayer-filled, yet painful process to decide I could no longer be part of that church. So how did I get to that point and how did the pastor’s perspective impact my spiritual health during that time?

I was privileged enough to be born to Christian parents. They both are brilliant parents and brought me up in the faith. My father would read the Bible to me and my brothers every night, right until the end of primary school. I owe a large amount of my Bible knowledge to him and my mother. This knowledge has been really helpful as I have learned to deal with same-sex attractions (SSA), so I am incredibly thankful to my father for that.

In preparation for this article, I asked a number of members of TFT some questions about their mental health. I chose people who experience both same-sex attractions and had at least one mental health diagnosis. My questions explore how their mental health condition interacted with their same-sex feelings. Each person picked from my questions which ones they wanted to answer. My intention was particularly to share experiences with others, so that others who have similar blends of sexual temptations with mental health struggles might benefit from the experience and wisdom of others.

As I give my testimony when delivering speaking engagements on behalf of TFT, I often find myself sharing what the reasons were that I decided to contact TFT and pursue membership in the first place. One of those reasons related to a struggle over what seemed like an accepted evangelical narrative – one that said I must marry and have children if I’m ever to advance into spiritual adulthood. Probably many TFT members have felt that, at times, the Church has told them that singleness is second best.

Have you ever questioned your faith or had doubts whether you are right about sexuality? (For what TFT believes, see our Basis).Those of us who hold to biblical teaching on sexuality are increasingly out of step with the culture. We can also find ourselves at odds with some who identify as Christians.

It can feel as though we are caught in the cross fire and that is hard. 

As a child I was definitely not a girly girl. I was very much a tomboy, preferring my brothers Action Man over my Sindy doll, hating dresses and generally thinking life was so unfair that I was a girl. I first became aware of my same-sex attractions during puberty, when I was confused about my sexuality and identity. It was not a subject that I could talk about, as the other girls in my form were daydreaming over the new male boys PE teacher whilst I preferred the girls female PE teacher!