I recently had to leave a local church because the new pastor and I disagreed about same-sex attraction (SSA). That church was no longer helping me grow in the likeness of Christ or allowing me to follow God’s call on my life for His kingdom. It was a prayer-filled, yet painful process to decide I could no longer be part of that church. So how did I get to that point and how did the pastor’s perspective impact my spiritual health during that time?

I was privileged enough to be born to Christian parents. They both are brilliant parents and brought me up in the faith. My father would read the Bible to me and my brothers every night, right until the end of primary school. I owe a large amount of my Bible knowledge to him and my mother. This knowledge has been really helpful as I have learned to deal with same-sex attractions (SSA), so I am incredibly thankful to my father for that.

In preparation for this article, I asked a number of members of TFT some questions about their mental health. I chose people who experience both same-sex attractions and had at least one mental health diagnosis. My questions explore how their mental health condition interacted with their same-sex feelings. Each person picked from my questions which ones they wanted to answer. My intention was particularly to share experiences with others, so that others who have similar blends of sexual temptations with mental health struggles might benefit from the experience and wisdom of others.

As I give my testimony when delivering speaking engagements on behalf of TFT, I often find myself sharing what the reasons were that I decided to contact TFT and pursue membership in the first place. One of those reasons related to a struggle over what seemed like an accepted evangelical narrative – one that said I must marry and have children if I’m ever to advance into spiritual adulthood. Probably many TFT members have felt that, at times, the Church has told them that singleness is second best.

Have you ever questioned your faith or had doubts whether you are right about sexuality? (For what TFT believes, see our Basis).Those of us who hold to biblical teaching on sexuality are increasingly out of step with the culture. We can also find ourselves at odds with some who identify as Christians.

It can feel as though we are caught in the cross fire and that is hard. 

As a child I was definitely not a girly girl. I was very much a tomboy, preferring my brothers Action Man over my Sindy doll, hating dresses and generally thinking life was so unfair that I was a girl. I first became aware of my same-sex attractions during puberty, when I was confused about my sexuality and identity. It was not a subject that I could talk about, as the other girls in my form were daydreaming over the new male boys PE teacher whilst I preferred the girls female PE teacher!

Ben Chang’s latest book is an astute and wisely prophetic look at the evolving social movements competing with traditional Christian positions today. When I began reading the book, I was expecting an overview of the conflicts themselves, alongside proposals for how to mitigate the damages done by them, according to some enlightened scheme. What I found was a book that is roughly equal parts backstory and treatment plan. The backstory is a modern history of four loosely interrelated social movements: feminism, racial justice, gay pride and trans(sexual) rights.

Happiness begins and ends in Jesus Christ. That’s it. Full stop. Surely it can’t be as simple as that? We all have friends and family who will encourage us to think something quite different. The argument is often that happiness can only truly be found in the arms of another person, in a sexual union of some sort. We hear voices saying that having Jesus is all well and good, but in this life, you can’t just rely on Him. You need something or someone else that is more tangible and immediate.

I shouldn’t feel like this. I’m a Christian.” “I feel so guilty.” “Do you think I am possessed?” Many times I have heard these, or similar statements, from those experiencing some form of mental or emotional distress or dis-ease. Sometimes this has been fuelled by a person’s engagement with scripture, the teaching they have received or the implicit ethos of the faith group they belong to.