Independent evangelical churches very rarely appoint single men as elders. Personally, I don’t know any other single elders. The reasons for this are cultural, historical and a mis-reading of Bible teaching. The key texts used in the argument against single elders are 1 Timothy 3:2 where the elder is to be the husband of ‘but one wife’ and Titus 1:6 which again talks about the elder being a husband of ‘but one wife’ and ‘whose children believe’.

The whole earth is filled with awe at your wonders; where morning dawns, where evening fades, you call forth songs of joy. (Psalm 65:8)

Most of us have more structure in the middle of our days, normally because of work duties, which helps us in being disciplined and making good choices. But, for many Christians, the times either first thing in the morning or later in the evening can go one of two ways:

A few years ago, I visited a church to preach. I vividly remember the small talk with somebody before the service. “I assume you are married with kids,” they said. “No. I’m single actually,” I replied. They were somewhat surprised. “Oh! Have you never found anybody you liked?” And then an altogether different suggestion struck them. “Or have you never found anybody who likes you?”

I was born in Shrewsbury and raised in the somewhat odd border town of Oswestry, where I think it is fair to say I retain some rather fond memories of my early years. In my primary school years I, of course, had not developed any real identity or serious interests that would define who I was.

Marriage reflects the gospel by representing Christ’s love for the church. This is a glorious truth I have heard proclaimed at countless weddings and whenever marriage is spoken of from the pulpit or in Bible study. Yet on the other hand, when singleness is brought up, the only positive thing you hear about it is that those who are single can be undivided in their service to God.

In this extended conversation, Simon and Ruth discuss the theme of emotional dependency, where friendship turns into an unhealthy obsession with the other person. They share candidly from their own experiences of such relationships and how they found their way through the pitfalls to redeem what was good in the friendships.

True Freedom Trust is a confidential pastoral ministry providing support for Christians who experience same-sex attraction or gender incongruence, and who wish to live under traditional biblical teaching. At our speaking events, we’re frequently asked, ‘should I use a person’s preferred pronouns?’. The question refers to whether it is right to refer to someone by pronouns that do not correspond to their biological sex e.g. calling a biological male she/her or using non-binary pronouns that don’t correspond to either sex such as they/them.

As a 75-year-old, I’ve learnt that it is unwise to make assumptions about how one’s life is going to pan out. Now looking back, I can say that as youthful libido wains, and by the transforming power of the Holy Spirit, one’s same-sex attraction can sublimate into something useful. For me this has been an introduction to the practice of ‘father care’, free of sexual content, but fuelled by spare emotional capital.

Allow me to tell you my story:

God’s Beautiful Story is a suite of free online resources to help evangelical church leaders engage with the Bible and enable their congregations to have good conversations about human sexuality and the implications of changes in understanding or practice in their church grouping.