How to teach Biblical sexuality badly

In this article, I explore what I see as four common pitfalls when it comes to teaching on biblical sexuality. It’s not easy to get everything right when explaining this sensitive topic. But, if you can avoid these blunders, that’s a good start!

Pitfall 1: Change your theology

Perhaps the most fundamental error starts from a misunderstanding of (or refusal to accept) what the Bible plainly teaches about sexual activity being only for the marriage of one man and one woman. This departure from orthodox belief is often driven by compassion for those with same-sex feelings. However, misrepresenting the word of God to others is never excusable (eg Matthew 18:6 – “It would be better for them... to be drowned in the depths of the sea.”).

A better way

Rather than starting with our own instincts, or the world’s viewpoint, it’s important to study the Bible first to see what it teaches about sexuality. There are some very helpful books available to navigate through this, such as Preston Sprinkle’s “Does the Bible support same-sex marriage?”

Pitfall 2: Make it an "agree to disagree" issue

A less drastic-sounding approach, compared to Pitfall 1, is to downgrade the issue of sexual morality from a non-negotiable doctrine to a mere secondary issue. But a church adopting this approach ends up with a “pick and mix” approach to theology, where each person displaces God by defining sexual (im)morality for themselves.
Romans 14 recognises that there are “debatable matters”: Christians can hold a range of viewpoints on infant baptism or 7-day creation. However, the Bible is clear that a person’s practice of sexual morality is of primary importance: in 1 Corinthians 6:9-11, Paul makes it clear that “wrongdoers will not inherit the kingdom of God” and explicitly includes “men who have sex with men” in his list of such wrongdoers.

A better way

When strongly-held differences within a church on the definition of sexual morality emerge, some fellowships have been able to look humbly and carefully at the Bible together and reach an agreement on doctrine.
However, if there are irreconcilable differences within the members and/or leaders of a church on biblical sexuality, then the reality is that the church has already divided. Navigating through the painful process of splitting will be more realistic in the long-term than trying to stay together when such fundamental differences in belief remain.

Pitfall 3: Talk too much or too little about sexuality

Sometimes, church leaders recognise how controversial the biblical teaching is on same-sex practice, and decide not to teach on this at their main gatherings. The short-term benefits of this approach are that it’s possible to present the gospel in a more palatable way to non-Christians, and it avoids uncomfortable disagreements between Christians within the church. In churches adopting this approach, leaders will often reveal the (normally orthodox) position of the church if requested.

However, this approach means that people will make (often incorrect) assumptions about what the church believes. Later, when they discover the official position of the church is different to what they had assumed, they will be understandably aggrieved if that blocks them from participating in membership or leadership, for example.

The opposite fault can be overemphasising this topic, particularly when other forms of sexual immorality or other awkward topics (eg divorce) are not given equivalent attention. Those working this matter through in their own lives (or where it affects someone close to them) can end up feeling unfairly judged. Note that not all teaching in churches is done through the sermon: if the main message through notices and newsletters is about campaigning against “LGBT activists”, then this will also tend to convey a harsh or judgemental attitude to those struggling in this area.

A better way

Let’s be courageous in tackling difficult topics at church and proclaiming “the whole will of God” (Acts 20:27). Yes, sadly people may leave the church because they disagree, but it’s much kinder to be honest and up front than to hide doctrines from people because we don’t want to offend them. 1 Peter 2:8 tells us that Jesus is, “a stone that causes people to stumble and a rock that makes them fall”. The gospel is offensive, because it calls us all sinners. We shouldn’t add to the offence, but nor should we mask the gospel with artificial sweeteners.

If you are concerned that newcomers (or even regulars) need to be regularly reminded of the church’s teaching on sexuality, then one option is to have an online video series on this topic to which people can be signposted.
A helpful corrective to teaching too much or too little on this topic is to focus very carefully on your tone. Let your words, “be always full of grace, seasoned with salt” (Col 4:6).

Pitfall 4: Stifle discussion

Sometimes, church leaders decide to teach about biblical sexuality from the front, but don’t trust their small group leaders to host discussions following the teaching. Whilst this at least gets the biblical teaching across, it misses the opportunity for members of the congregation to talk it through and apply it to their own situations. It also makes it harder for leaders to gauge the pastoral impact of the teaching within the congregation.

A better way

We should equip our small group leaders to handle this topic pastorally and with biblical integrity. You may need to run a training course for small group leaders before bringing teaching to the whole church, as well as checking in with the small group leaders along the way. You could also offer the whole church a workshop on the topic at the end of the series. That way, small group leaders could note down any tricky questions that they don’t feel confident to answer well, and then could encourage group members to attend the interactive workshop.

Conclusion

Although I’ve tried to highlight some pitfalls to avoid, please don’t let this article put you off teaching from the Bible about sexuality. Feel free to get in touch with our staff team for advice or to invite one of our speakers to contribute to your speaking series or to help train your leadership team.

This article was originally published in the Spring 2025 edition of the TFT magazine, Ascend. Click the button below to download your copy.