Review: “Quenched” by Jessica Harris

When I was first asked to write a book review on the book Quenched by Jessica Harris, I’ll admit, I was sceptical. I don’t struggle with pornography and wasn’t sure I could relate to this book and the particular struggles spoken about…Well how wrong and ignorant was I! It is important to state that this book is not a self-help guide or practical manual to gain freedom from pornography or sexual shame, but rather an encouraging and emotional read to help us walk alongside each other in the hope that we can “live a life quenched” and glorify God. 

Pornography stereotypes

Jessica speaks humbly and honestly from both stances of sinner and saint in a non-judgemental and empathetic manner about sexual shame and pornography. Breaking down stereotypes that this is just a problem for men, Harris utilises other people’s testimonies to not only encourage us to talk and share, but also to strengthen her argument that this issue is more common amongst Christians and within the church than we think or know. Bringing such controversial and unspoken, yet common issues, to light, she emphasises how Jesus and a relationship with Him, our everlasting source of light, desires to join us in the pits of these battles and then provide a way out through His abounding grace.

Our inward desires

The author invites us to seek healing through Christ and through community with each other by exploring particular innate desires that we all have as human beings: “…desire to be known, desire to be loved, sexual desire, desire to worship and the desire for healing” (chapter titles). These innate desires that have been gifted to us from God very often become obstructed and ruined by shame which, in turn, negatively destroys our relationship with Him, with our church family and with ourselves. 

The woman at the well

The word “Quenched” for the title is clever, as it has the dual meaning of satisfying one’s thirst, but also extinguishing a fire. The biblical interaction between Jesus and the woman at the well in John 4 underpins Jessica’s narrative, with the theme of each chapter relating to the various aspects of Jesus’ interaction with the Samaritan woman. Here Jesus offers to satisfy the woman’s thirst, but also put out the fire of sin and bring her to salvation and transformation. Shame is an underlying theme through the book - at each point in the dialogue with the woman, shame and grace interact, shame standing in direct contrast with God’s grace. I was struck by these words that depict this juxtaposition:

• “Grace calls us to connection and community; shame tells us to fear them.
• Grace calls us to confession; shame tells us we can’t.
• Grace gives us a new identity; shame continues to call us by our failures.” (p181)

Jesus has come to stem our thirst and pour water on the burning power of our sin.  

Benefits of community

One of the first important steps that Harris took on her path to healing and freedom was to tell someone. This act of honesty, not only to God, but to a person she trusted helped her to acknowledge the necessity of confession:“…not so they can shame you but rather prove shame wrong.” p171. The positive impact and primary strength that Christian community had on her walk to freedom from pornography was the fact that the focus was never solely on her struggle, if at all. She was helped to grow and heal in other areas of her life which, in turn, strengthened her relationship with Jesus and provided a path to freedom.

Accountability relationships

Jessica has mixed views of accountability; she does not appear to encourage accountability or accountability partnerships and this did leave me with further questions. In describing her small community of women, she seems to contradict herself by saying that she did have one woman within this group who she would befriend and ask questions of in her pornography struggle. I think readers could benefit with some clarity around her thoughts on this subject, however I think the message she is giving is that any accountability provisions or partnerships must go hand in hand with committed Christian relationships to help point us to Jesus. Caution and awareness should also be brought to the fine line that sits between healthy and effective accountability and over reliance or co-dependency within the partnership. She highlights that we are more than just our struggles or addictions -a very wise statement to consider when contemplating accountability and community. Reading Quenched has given me a whole new perspective on the story of the woman at the well and has helped me to question my desires and be able to counteract feelings of shame with truth. Not only has Jessica’s book provided me with personal tools to use myself, but also resources to help me walk alongside my brothers and sisters.A helpful and easy read, this book is not only for those who battle with pornography and sexual shame, but for anyone who may struggle with any form of addiction or shame. It is for those who wants to support a friend or a loved one through addiction. It is for our pastors and church leaders who should be aiming to love and lead their church family. More importantly, this book is for anyone who loves Jesus Christ.

This article was originally published in the Summer 2025 edition of the TFT magazine, Ascend. Click the button below to download your copy.