Known and Loved: Intimacy in our Barnabas Group

If you had asked me what intimacy looked like in a small group, I might have said something about Bible study or prayer. I would not have said “Monday evenings with eight or nine men, a book and a cup of tea.” But that is exactly where I have encountered some of the deepest intimacy, with God, with others and even with myself. Meeting once a month, the Barnabas Group, comprising men at various stages of life and faith, is united by a desire for intimacy with Christ and one another, and those desires have matured into something real: a fellowship marked by shared belief and shared stories.

Intimacy with God

This year, using The Story Changer by David Murray, this book has shaped not only our discussions but our understanding of what intimacy with God looks like. Murray reminds us that Jesus does not simply help us “modify” our lives; He rewrites our stories. Change is not about self-improvement. It is about surrendering our brokenness to the One who restores. Change takes shape slowly, honestly, and through grace. One of our members said, “It’s helped me face my struggles and see how Christ redefines them with grace.”Another stated, “It’s a fantastic way to uncover the false narratives we believe and see Jesus at work.” Intimacy with God grows not through perfection, but through honest encounter, by bringing our stories, however unfinished, into His redeeming light.

Intimacy with Others

Intimacy with God may overflow into how we love and serve others, but in our Barnabas Group, we know that intimacy also requires trust and confidentiality. This is not just a study circle, it’s a space where we listen deeply, ask honest questions, and pray faithfully, with the assurance that what is shared here stays here. Such trust has been hard-earned, and it’s what gives our conversations their depth and grace.Every month, one of the men takes the lead by choosing the chapter and guiding the discussion. This rhythm of shared responsibility builds trust and encourages each member to share stories of how God is meeting them through the mess and mystery of their lives. During these moments, intimacy deepens among the group and with God. We stay connected through a WhatsApp group, a small but meaningful lifeline. Prayer requests and encouragements are shared: “Please pray for …” or “Here’s a truth to ...” Those small messages remind us that we’re not walking alone. We make time for fun and friendship, gathering for a social evening, with good food, games and laughter. We have some good chefs. These times create warmth and ease among us. Others meet up for coffee or a walk, chatting through the demanding things of life in smaller settings. Such informal moments are as vital as the formal ones, merging friendship into the fabric of faith and showing that intimacy often grows best through simple, shared life.

Intimacy with Our Own Stories

Interestingly, being part of this group has also strengthened my connection with myself. There is something deeply healing about being known and accepted by others who clearly love Jesus. Our conversations often return to the theme of transformation, how Christ meets us right where we are and invites us to become who God intended us to be. It is not always dramatic; it is simply about being honest about our struggles and trusting that grace is enough. As we reflect on our stories, we often return to intimacy with God and each other. Being known by God, known by others, and known to each other, these three elements have come together to bring blessings. This is what intimacy within the group means: seeing ourselves as God sees us, loved, redeemed and blessed.

An Invitation

Thinking about intimacy now, I no longer imagine something private or abstract. I picture faces; friends who have prayed with me, listened to me and reminded me of grace. I picture laughter over a shared meal, a small group of men opening the Scriptures and finding their own stories rewritten by Christ Himself.

Our Barnabas Group is not perfect, but it is genuine. And within that honesty, God continually shows up in His Word, in our prayers and in our friendships. If you are not part of a Barnabas Group, may I kindly encourage you to join one? It is not just another meeting added to your schedule. It is a space where you can be truly known, where your story can be listened to and where, together, you can experience the transforming closeness of Christ, the One who still changes lives every day. If you long to be known and loved, this is your invitation. Come and see what Christ is doing in the midst of ordinary men and women by His extraordinary grace.

This article was originally published in the Winter 2025 edition of the TFT magazine, Ascend. Click the button below to download your copy.