I lack nothing: the surprising benefits of singleness

“I lack nothing” - can that really be true? As a single person, it certainly sometimes feels like I lack things that married people have - connection, intimacy, someone to love and share your life with. But what if singleness doesn’t mean you have to live without these things? And what if being single means God can work through you in a unique way? 

Growing up, I used to have a worldly view of love and think that the only, or best, way to experience love was through a romantic relationship that led to marriage. Marriage is a good gift from God, and while it’s not wrong to want it, it became an idol in my life. I was treating marriage as the solution to all my problems, I’d think “if only I were married, I’d never struggle with loneliness or sexual temptation again”. But the reality (as married people can attest to) is that marriage does not stop you having these challenges. No doubt some things will be easier, but being in a relationship brings both joys and challenges, just like being single. Yet the media’s portrayal of relationships often overlooks that, and says if you’re single you lack so many things that will make you happy. 

I find it’s easy to focus on what we lack, while being unaware of the great blessings we have. I remember being at a Christian conference where I was particularly struggling with being single, so I called out to God saying I don’t know if I can take this anymore, and suddenly I felt a sense of peace, as though the things I’d been obsessing and worrying over didn’t matter, at least not in the way that I thought. I felt God telling me that I already have so much love around me, from my family and friends, and most of all in my relationship with Jesus. From that point on, I realised that being single was the right path for my life, the way that I flourish and live out my God-given purposes. 
This happened the summer before I went to university, and this shift in perspective was so freeing for me, it meant I could meet new people without the pressure of needing to seek out “the one” who I thought would complete me, knowing God has made me as a complete person. In fact, I’ve felt such a strong, personal calling to singleness ever since that time, that 8 years later I had a ceremony at my church to commit myself to singleness. I invited many friends and family, and that helped me realise how much love I truly have in my life, from people and from God. 

Jesus sustains me every day, but to be honest I don’t always live in a way that reflects that. All too often I look for satisfaction and fulfilment elsewhere, I spend hours on my phone and neglect to spend time with the one who created me, who knows and loves me and will truly satisfy me. But that is part of being human, and something I will continue to live in tension with, being ever grateful that God loves and accepts me through it all. 

Making a commitment like the one I made is not for everyone, but whether you feel called to long-term singleness, or simply find yourself single right now, there are many benefits that are easy to overlook. For example, I have more freedom and flexibility with how I spend my time and money, I’m able to invest more in friendships, and have been able to be involved in a number of things at church, work, and being in plays with local amateur dramatic groups. I wouldn’t have been able to do all these things if I were married, but I feel God has been able to work through me in unique ways thanks to my singleness. 

Until we get to the new creation and are with Jesus, we will always lack things. And yet, we can still experience the fullness of life that Jesus came to bring us in this life, even if it’s not quite permanent yet. God gives us the church - brothers and sisters, mothers and fathers who can look after us and love us. And most of all, Jesus wants a personal relationship with us, he is the person we can be most intimate and close with, and in living with and for him, I truly believe he gives me everything I need, and can do the same for you too.

This article was originally published in the Spring 2026 edition of the TFT magazine, Ascend. Click the button below to download your copy.