Pastoring those with SSA well

For the last 9 years I have had the privilege under God of pastoring our church family. Our church family comprises a large range of people- different nationalities, ages, social backgrounds and struggles. What unites us all is the desire to know Jesus better and serve him more faithfully. How do I enable our church family to do this? Most importantly it’s through my preaching and pastoring. 

I’ve been struck recently by something the apostle Paul says in his letter to the Galatians. In Galatians 4:19, he says: “My dear children, for whom I am again in the pains of childbirth until Christ is formed in you….” What has struck me is Paul’s pastoral love, pastoral pain and pastoral goal. Paul’s pastoral love is seen in the way he calls them his dear children. This is striking given Galatians is one of the most direct letters Paul wrote. There is no thanksgiving at the start of the letter, unlike other letters. He simply launches in- he’s deeply concerned for them in the face of some serious false teaching. But the reason he is direct is because of his love. They might be struggling, but they are his dear children. Then there is his pastoral pain. He’s in the pains of childbirth for them. This is a bold image to say the least! Using the picture of a woman in childbirth shows the agonies Paul has for this church. He goes through pain for their sake. To him, it feels like childbirth! And then notice too his pastoral goal. What is his goal in all this? That Christ is formed in them. It’s a beautiful picture of this church family being shaped more and more in the likeness of Jesus. That’s what he longs for, works hard towards, prays for in his people. That is a serious challenge to any pastor! 

It’s with that picture in mind that I seek to pastor by the Lord’s grace the church family at All Saints. And those principles are applied to every person in the congregation. I long to see Christ formed in each individual, whoever they are, whatever their background, whatever their age and stage, whatever struggles they experience. First and foremost, I see the person in front of me as a precious sister or brother in need of teaching, love and prayer. To that end, when it comes to brothers and sisters in our church family who experience SSA, their SSA isn’t the primary lens through which I view them. First and foremost, they too are brothers and sisters in the Lord in whom I long for Christ to be formed. Yes, they will each have specific struggles pertinent to them, and I will of course address them and talk those through in personal conversations. But that would be true for any member of our church family with any of their struggles. We are all complex people in need of grace and love. I’m called to be a pastor of people first and foremost, and to that end I pastor everyone with the same principles. 

That said, I think there are a couple of things that I specifically try and do which I trust will encourage and help those who experience SSA, but also all of our church family in our various struggles as we seek to serve Jesus. First, I try to be honest in my preaching. Faithful of course, but also honest about my own struggles. It’s not that I speak about all my struggles every week. That would be painful for all to hear and inappropriate! But I take seriously the reality that I am a fellow sinner saved by grace! 
Secondly, we try to create a culture of acceptance and encouragement. All are welcome, and in what we say from the front, and I trust in how we engage with people, this is the message that is delivered. We are by no means a perfect church, and nor am I a perfect pastor. But I trust that at least recognising our weaknesses, and working hard on them, is an encouragement to us all. 

I need to say too that whenever someone with SSA has shared their struggles with me, I feel deeply humbled and a profound sense of privilege. In every case, the person has shared something very personal to themselves. They have made themselves vulnerable. Under God, therefore, my call is to love and guide with the help the Lord gives, knowing that we are both saved by the remarkable and precious grace of God. 

I’m still learning and growing. I’m thankful that the congregation are very patient with me! May the Lord give us all grace and wisdom as we seek to care for one another. 

This article was originally published in the Spring 2026 edition of the TFT magazine, Ascend. Click the button below to download your copy.