Telling the whole story of the Bible

What is it that motivates you?

17-year-old me was about to learn the hard way, in a dimly lit room across from the TJ Hughes department store hiring manager, that the right answer to this question at a job interview isn’t “getting paid”. It turns out that what they were looking for was an insight into the values and principles I hold that would make me an enthusiastic and committed member of the workforce. They wanted to know what got me out of bed in the morning, what kept me going. The truth is, at the time, I was really only interested in the spending money…. I didn’t get the job.

Now twice that age, I’d like to think I’ve got a better handle on that question. By God’s kindness, I think the same is also true of what motivates me to follow Christ. Particularly in the area of sexuality, as someone who experiences same-sex attraction. When I became a Christian at 18, I did so with a knowledge that it didn’t feel like the Bible spoke favourably of same-sex marriage or sexual relationships. Not being ‘out’ about my sexual attractions at that time anyway, I simply chose to try and ignore them. That would be my method of following the teaching.

The church I was attending at the time was quite a charismatic church and spoke powerfully of God’s unmerited favour towards us. The weekly message was one that said “You are under grace, not under the law”. The problem was, I felt like I was living under the law. The only thing stopping me from going out and getting a boyfriend was a handful of Bible verses that seemed to prohibit me from doing so. Somehow, this wasn’t very motivating. It didn’t feel like the good news I was told the Gospel was supposed to be. I had no concept of why God had ordered sexual ethics in the way in which He had and no idea of how these prohibitions fit His plans and purposes. One of the great privileges of being involved in TFTs speaking and teaching work is that I now get to go out and try and share something of that broader vision with our hearers.
Darrin Snyder Belousek says,   “Scripture and tradition witness to marriage as a God-ordained, three-faceted, interlocking reality: form, function and figure (or pattern, purpose, and symbol)”.
In my teaching, I've found this a helpful framework through which to answer what I sometimes call the “toddler question”. Why? Why has God ordered sexual ethics in this way?

Form

Form refers to what sexual relationships look like in scripture, where they are spoken of positively. In Genesis 2:15-25, we see God create a “suitable helper” for Adam. There are two things to notice about the suitable helper. First, she is the same as Adam. In verse 20, we see that none of the animals that were brought before Adam were considered suitable. So, God causes Adam to fall into a deep sleep and, while he is sleeping, God takes a rib from his side and uses it to form a woman. She is the same, because she’s made of the same ‘stuff’; she is of the same substance.

But, the second thing we see about her is that she is different. In verses 21 and 22, whereas Adam was formed out of the dust of the ground, Eve was formed out of Adam’s side. She is of the same substance, but there is something different about the way she is made. And Genesis 2:24 brings together these two beings – the same, but different – and unites them together in marriage. The actual word used in Hebrew to describe this union carries a sense of a gluing or adhesion. In other words, this is a relationship not intended to be broken apart. Through scripture, the only place we see physical/sexual unions spoken of in a positive light, is in the context of this exclusive, adhesive relationship between the God-ordained suitable partners.

Function

The question of function deals with why marriage is ordered in the way it is above. Genesis 1:26-28 helps us towards our answer. In verse 27, we see two truths. First, mankind is created in the image of God. Second, God has created us male and female. These two truths are followed immediately by God’s first instructions for us in verse 28. We are to be fruitful and increase in number in order to fill the earth, and we are to subdue and rule over it.
These verses show us that the way God has created us is intimately connected to His purposes for us. Being created in God’s image separates us from other creatures. It allows us to reflect something of who God is in the creation that surrounds us, and to act as vice-regents, looking after His creation, under Him. But being created male and female allows us to fulfil that other purpose: to fill the earth with people ruling under God. God longs to see an earth full of people made in His image and walking in relationship with him, enjoying and stewarding His good creation.

Of course, that’s not to say that marriage is all about children. Augustine of Hippo is perhaps the most important influencer in the western church traditions’ thinking on marriage. He suggested marriage brings with it several “goods”. He suggested four: charity, chastity, fidelity and children (as we‘ve already discussed). Charity involves the giving of all of ourselves to another person. Chastity is a way of expressing our sexuality in a manner that is holy and pleasing to God. Fidelity is about covenant keeping and keeping promises. Another prominent thinker in this area was John Chrysostom. He arrived at similar conclusions. He said marriage was about children, moderation of life (in that is contributes towards of Christian growth) and also points to something beyond itself.

Figure

That question of what marriage points to beyond itself is what is meant by figure. Ephesians 5:25-32 particularly unpacks this. The first thing to notice in this passage is the quoting in verse 31 of Genesis 2:24. Paul (the author of Ephesians) carries that definition of marriage from Genesis 2:24 into the New Testament and goes on to say that our earthly marriages are to tell us something about the relationship between Christ and the Church.

What’s interesting is that the Bible starts with a marriage (Adam and Eve in Genesis 2) and ends with another type of marriage: we see Jesus with His bride, the Church, in Revelation 19. The love and longing that we experience for our partners in this life tells us something about the love and longing Jesus has for His church. Augustine suggested that marriage is about giving all of oneself to the other. In the union of Christ and the Church, we too give all of ourselves to the other. We give all of our sin to Jesus, and He gives us all of His righteousness. This might sound like He gets the bad end of the deal, but what’s amazing about this marriage is that this is what God has decided to do in order to be in perfect relationship with us once again.

This great marriage is Jesus and His chosen suitable helper in His work, the Church. It’s Jesus (someone who is the same in His humanity, but different through His divinity) choosing to give all of Himself to us in an exclusive covenant that, in His perfection, He will not break. Jesus loves and cherishes us, for better, for worse, for richer, for poorer, in sickness and in health.

From Prohibition to Purpose

Great teaching on biblical sexual ethics goes beyond simply teaching the prohibition passages and connects the hearer to their place in God’s great story. It motivates them not merely to follow a set rulebook, but to want to actively participate in His plans and purposes. In God’s great vision, human marriage ought to provide a taster of Christ’s relationship to His Church. Singleness ought to point to our contentedness in only Christ, as will be experienced in the age to come. In our churches, let’s be asking that “toddler question”. It’s often when we ask why, that we find a satisfying answer.

This article was originally published in the Spring 2025 edition of the TFT magazine, Ascend. Click the button below to download your copy.