Being a lone voice

Being a minority voice on same-sex marriage can be very painful. A number of my colleagues have chosen to adopt a position which, in my view, goes against God's word. It comes with a bit of sadness that a denomination which I love, which I've grown up in, which does so much good in the world, would adopt a position which is at odds with God's ordering of our lives and God's design for his people.

It’s frustrating because for me it seems so clear that the connection between promoting same-sex relationships goes hand in hand with the decline of the church. As the URC steps away from God's will, as well as God's plan and God's desire for humanity, we have become part of a church that has declined. The irony of that is that so many times I’ve heard, “How are we going to thrive as a church in the 21st century if we do not adopt this position, if we show to the world that we are out of touch with them?”
And yet all that has been done has seemed to increase the problems and hasten the decline within the URC.

That being said, I haven't felt entirely disrespected by holding my ground. Most of the time, there is a level of mutual respect and generosity between the people who hold different views on this thing. Within the URC, there's a certain amount of: “We do respect you, we even love you and we welcome you to be part of the church. We disagree with you, but we recognise your ministry, we recognise your calling and we are going to trust you and entrust pastoral responsibility to you in the name of the United Reformed Church.”
 

Sometimes I get the impression from others that people who hold my view are the ones holding the denomination back from who it really wants to be. I don't think anyone would ever actually articulate that, and they may even deny that, but a few things have happened at Mission Council level where it has been said, “Hold on, you're purporting to have a view which actually not all of us subscribe to and which isn't the denomination’s publicised, promoted view.”
 

But I want the URC to thrive and to flourish not just for the sake of the URC as an entity, but for the sake of the people who belong to it.

There's a sense that I feel attached to these people. If it ever comes to me having to leave because I can't do those things while I'm doing the ministry that God’s called me to, it will be painful for me to step away from a denomination in which I have found geniune friendships and met colleagues whom I respect.
 

I have had to turn down ministry positions because the stance I hold is in conflict with the stance that a particular church holds. That’s perfectly reasonable, but you do wonder if as a result a church which is going to miss somebody faithfully preaching the gospel to them. With so many churches and so few ministers, every church which turns down a faithful Bible teaching minister is another church missing out on regular preaching from an ordained minister.

 
It’s not just about changing people’s theological stance. It’s about showing that we really do care, that these are carefully thought-out theological positions and not just reactionary ones. I might not be able to change people’s theological stance but I might be able to change their opinion of those who have a different one – and to start to ask questions about the positions that a 21st century URC minister can hold.

The ministers who tend to hold the biblical line on sex and marriage tend to be the evangelicals and are at the younger end of the spectrum. What I think that's doing is showing people that this isn't just a cultural thing. This is not just walking with the culture. As generations pass, we’re not becoming less progressive – actually, there's something to be said about the Spirit of God work in his church which involves holding the biblical line and believing a different view.

That in itself sets an example that we don't just have to keep following a particular path. Rather, it is possible to think that the generations below us might have a different stance and it's not inevitable that that things go in in one direction.

Apart from that, I want to be able to share the gospel of Jesus as well. The gospel is more than just we don't do same-sex sex or same-sex relationships. The gospel leads to the whole flourishing of God's people as they turn to Christ in repentance and faith, as they receive new life in his hands. The gospel is their receiving the promised gift of the Holy Spirit, to live and bear fruit in his name, to turn away from sin and to await the hope of the life ever after.
I believe our conviction - which encounters and covers the whole of life – is so refreshing to bring. I think it gives great witness to the people within the denomination to see that holding this biblical orthodoxy is coherent with the gospel.

If I were to dream big, I’d want to see widespread repentance of those who have turned away from God and His Word, and of those  who have given up on evangelism. I’d like to see a grace of repentance, of saying, “Lord, we are sorry. We've got this wrong. We've followed down a path which you never called us to.” And for God to open eyes, open hearts, to truly hear what he has to say, and to embrace his word and to love him, and to want to follow in his ways, to courageously stand for the gospel in a world which doesn't want to hear it, and to courageously stand against the grain of culture.

I think that somehow our position on same-sex relationships and marriage is often misconstrued as being graceless. Actually, our position, like everything, should be awash with God's grace as people who are guilty in numerous ways every day of failing to meet God’s standards and yet are receiving that grace, and gratefully just saying to the Lord Jesus Christ, “I'm yours, I'm yours, I don't know why, but I'm yours, and I want to live for you.”

This article was originally published in the Winter 2024 edition of the TFT magazine, Ascend. Click the button below to download your copy.

To give space to discuss certain articles in greater depth, the TFT staff team will be recording occasional podcasts under the banner “Ascend Higher”, covering the issues raised in a more conversational style. To hear it for yourself, you can use the audio player below.