In this book, subtitled "Conversations between an Evangelical Theologian & His Gay Son", pastor Brad Harper and his son Drew converse in short letters to each other about their differences of opinion regarding same-sex attraction. Whilst Brad holds to a traditional Christian sexual ethic, Drew has left his biblical faith and embraced an LGBTQ lifestyle.

Independent evangelical churches very rarely appoint single men as elders. Personally, I don’t know any other single elders. The reasons for this are cultural, historical and a mis-reading of Bible teaching. The key texts used in the argument against single elders are 1 Timothy 3:2 where the elder is to be the husband of ‘but one wife’ and Titus 1:6 which again talks about the elder being a husband of ‘but one wife’ and ‘whose children believe’.

A few years ago, I visited a church to preach. I vividly remember the small talk with somebody before the service. “I assume you are married with kids,” they said. “No. I’m single actually,” I replied. They were somewhat surprised. “Oh! Have you never found anybody you liked?” And then an altogether different suggestion struck them. “Or have you never found anybody who likes you?”

In this extended conversation, Simon and Ruth discuss the theme of emotional dependency, where friendship turns into an unhealthy obsession with the other person. They share candidly from their own experiences of such relationships and how they found their way through the pitfalls to redeem what was good in the friendships.

As I pondered the brief for this article, a wry smile came over my face as I reflected on the title. Simply by removing one word, this article would be widely celebrated in today’s woke culture. 

Growing up, I lived opposite an incredibly house-proud lady. We could regularly see her, rain or shine, sprucing up the front of her home. She would clean the windows, ensure no weeds were growing, and even go out onto the pavement with a hard scrubbing brush to remove all the dirt from the concrete flagstones. I’m not going to criticise anyone for maintaining high standards of cleanliness, but it used to amuse us that the fastidiousness of her home didn’t match that of the homes surrounding it.