“I lack nothing” - can that really be true? As a single person, it certainly sometimes feels like I lack things that married people have - connection, intimacy, someone to love and share your life with. But what if singleness doesn’t mean you have to live without these things? And what if being single means God can work through you in a unique way? 

The word shepherd occurs 118 times in the NIV Bible, 23 of which are in the New Testament. Of these New Testament references, most refer to Jesus. Obviously, the word is important, yet its full meaning is likely to escape those of us who have never lived or worked around sheep. I have a cousin who is a cowboy, but I have never known a shepherd. My knowledge of sheep and shepherding comes mainly from episodes of “Shaun the Sheep”, which I doubt paint an accurate picture!

The pandemic hit people living on their own particularly hard. But gathering on Zoom provided a sense of community and continues to do so today. Recognising that at times I struggled to end the day well, I started to wonder if others had the same struggles - perhaps gathering via Zoom could be a positive way to draw our days to a close? And, so, Night Prayers was born just after the National Conference in 2021. 

I’ll be honest, the words “intimacy with God” haven’t always filled me with joy. I now, praise God, find myself saying, “Yes please! ‘Whom have I in heaven but you? And earth has nothing I desire besides you’” (Ps 73:25). Previously, my hard heart, bound up by religious pride and sexual sin, rebuffed any closeness with a seemingly judgemental God.

“My expectation in life is to be invisible, and I’m good at it.” This phrase, spoken by a fictional character, Mia Thermopolis, in the movie Princess Diaries, always stood out to me and seeming to apply to my life. I couched it with Christian language, trying to convince myself that I was trying to be humble, but the underlying prevailing thought was rooted in self-hatred. While including my sexuality, these thoughts also came from a broader comprehensive picture of my experiences.

I’ve had a few different jobs in my time. A call centre, a couple of shops, a supply chain manager at a theme park… and as I moved from one job to the next, the process of leaving was often the same. Sometimes (generously) there would be a leaving gift, often there would be leaving drinks or a meal out, but there would always be a card that had been passed around for colleagues to sign without me noticing.

At the beginning of 2025, my church began the journey towards becoming a single friendly church, by working with the Single Friendly Church Network (SFCN). This is a UK‐wide organisation whose aim is to encourage churches to welcome and value single people. For a while we had been working on creating a stronger feeling of family among our members. This had initially focused on families themselves, but a small number of us gradually came to see that we needed to improve our ministry to single people.

“The heavens declare the glory of God;the skies proclaim the work of his hands.Day after day they pour forth speech;night after night they reveal knowledge.They have no speech, they use no words;no sound is heard from them.Yet their voice goes out into all the earth,their words to the ends of the world.” Psalm 19 vs 1-4

If you had asked me what intimacy looked like in a small group, I might have said something about Bible study or prayer. I would not have said “Monday evenings with eight or nine men, a book and a cup of tea.” But that is exactly where I have encountered some of the deepest intimacy, with God, with others and even with myself.