I’ve had a few different jobs in my time. A call centre, a couple of shops, a supply chain manager at a theme park… and as I moved from one job to the next, the process of leaving was often the same. Sometimes (generously) there would be a leaving gift, often there would be leaving drinks or a meal out, but there would always be a card that had been passed around for colleagues to sign without me noticing.

At the beginning of 2025, my church began the journey towards becoming a single friendly church, by working with the Single Friendly Church Network (SFCN). This is a UK‐wide organisation whose aim is to encourage churches to welcome and value single people. For a while we had been working on creating a stronger feeling of family among our members. This had initially focused on families themselves, but a small number of us gradually came to see that we needed to improve our ministry to single people.

If you had asked me what intimacy looked like in a small group, I might have said something about Bible study or prayer. I would not have said “Monday evenings with eight or nine men, a book and a cup of tea.” But that is exactly where I have encountered some of the deepest intimacy, with God, with others and even with myself.

I first came across TFT about 7 years ago when my daughter opened up to me about her struggles with SSA. At the time she was passionate about her faith and committed to the biblical view of sexuality. I went along with her to the TFT London and National Conferences, I honestly didn’t think I had much to worry about, as she was so zealous for the Lord. I naively believed she would never walk away from her faith. It was only a year previously that I had come to faith myself through my daughter’s encouragement to attend her church and home groups.

For a number of years, I attended an accountability group for Christian men with sexual addictions, and found it very helpful. It was a mixed group - old and young, black and white, manual labourers and city professionals, businessmen and civil servants. The men came with a broad range of issues, whether battling lustful thoughts or porn addiction, compulsively masturbating, using female sex workers or being promiscuous with other men. They were all with a very obvious broken sexuality and all trusting Jesus for their salvation.

Many of us know the value of having an accountability partner or partners, and find great help and strength in sharing with another human, but what about accountability before God? Should we have an accountable relationship with Him, and if so, what should it look like?