At least it’s not porn.” This phrase ran through my head somehow giving personal validation to my choices as a young teenager to gaze upon historical artwork of unclothed persons, dwell on human anatomy in science textbooks, and re-watch scenes from some popular movies. I was allowed to see all of these things, so surely it wasn’t wrong. I kept telling myself, “it’s not porn,” but I was still using it as visual stimulation and it morphed into erotica in my mind. These desires and habits became ingrained, and the trajectory was set.

In this book, subtitled "Conversations between an Evangelical Theologian & His Gay Son", pastor Brad Harper and his son Drew converse in short letters to each other about their differences of opinion regarding same-sex attraction. Whilst Brad holds to a traditional Christian sexual ethic, Drew has left his biblical faith and embraced an LGBTQ lifestyle.

At a recent staff away day, we considered the unique place of TFT’s ministry within the church in the UK and Ireland. TFT is long established, having been founded in 1977, and provides one of the largest support networks for Christians experiencing same-sex attraction and/or gender incongruence we are aware of anywhere in the world. Attached to this, we also have a speaking and teaching ministry that works closely with churches, networks and Bible colleges to deliver events that are closely tailored to their individual needs. No two events are the same.

A few years ago, I visited a church to preach. I vividly remember the small talk with somebody before the service. “I assume you are married with kids,” they said. “No. I’m single actually,” I replied. They were somewhat surprised. “Oh! Have you never found anybody you liked?” And then an altogether different suggestion struck them. “Or have you never found anybody who likes you?”

In this extended conversation, Simon and Ruth discuss the theme of emotional dependency, where friendship turns into an unhealthy obsession with the other person. They share candidly from their own experiences of such relationships and how they found their way through the pitfalls to redeem what was good in the friendships.

There is a small section of my bookshelves that is designated “Helpful books with unhelpful titles”! I think I’m going to be adding this book to that shelf.