Friendship is a precious relationship. Over the years I have been very grateful for many friends with whom I have shared the up and downs of our lives. I am particularly thankful for those friends with whom I have grown close enough to be able to share my life-journey with same-sex attraction. When I was an undergraduate, the first fellow student I shared that with became a lifelong friend, though we now live hundreds of miles apart.

As I give my testimony when delivering speaking engagements on behalf of TFT, I often find myself sharing what the reasons were that I decided to contact TFT and pursue membership in the first place. One of those reasons related to a struggle over what seemed like an accepted evangelical narrative – one that said I must marry and have children if I’m ever to advance into spiritual adulthood. Probably many TFT members have felt that, at times, the Church has told them that singleness is second best.

Happiness begins and ends in Jesus Christ. That’s it. Full stop. Surely it can’t be as simple as that? We all have friends and family who will encourage us to think something quite different. The argument is often that happiness can only truly be found in the arms of another person, in a sexual union of some sort. We hear voices saying that having Jesus is all well and good, but in this life, you can’t just rely on Him. You need something or someone else that is more tangible and immediate.

The Naked Truth Project, nakedtruthproject.com, is a UK charity “committed to changing minds and changing lives through awareness, education and recovery programmes.” The website opens with a video of a powerful poem; this  beautifully depicts their goal to teach about the harmfulness of porn and provide a vision for life, human flourishing and restoration. Toward that end, they offer a variety of resources to help parents, spouses, teachers, schools and churches understand and address issues of pornography.

I have been battling with porn for most of my life. My first encounter with hard core porn came between the ages of 11 and 12. I never thought at the time how much this would destroy me. Years passed and I would regularly watch videos or look at magazine images. At the age of 18, I made a commitment of faith, but, sadly, not very much changed in my behaviour. A week before my 21st birthday, my life with Jesus took a big step forward. I began getting help with my alcohol dependency, but my issue with porn remained unaddressed.

One morning, while still in bed, I had a big light bulb moment. I suddenly realised that I had got myself into a big hole. I was drowning, and I wasn’t really sure how I got there. I had become addicted to pornography.