"The Six Conversations: Pathways to Connecting in an Age of Isolation and Incivility" by Heather Holleman

Every book review is likely to reveal as much about the biases of the reviewer as it is about the book. I don’t think this one will be any different!

I was brought up by two loving Christian parents. They both worked in full time Christian ministry, so I spent much of my childhood in or around church.

Is the risk worth it?
I hope this article encourages those who have been hurt in past friendships and relationships, to stay in community with others. I suggest that committing is worth it, as we take the risk of being open and vulnerable with others.

Emotional dependency occurs when your emotional well-being becomes overly dependent on another person. Your emotions fluctuate from extreme highs to extreme lows depending on how they treat you or how you perceive them treating you. Emotional dependency expects more from a person than that person can give. It is not a unique experience for same-sex attracted individuals. Anyone can become emotionally dependent on another person.

In the spring of 2020, as a middle-aged single man living alone in London, I was invited by a young family in my church to "bubble” with them for the foreseeable future, while Covid restrictions began to be implemented.
Throughout the various lockdowns, I spent all day every Sunday with them and one evening midweek too. I’d been feeling emotionally low for the previous year, so I don’t think I’m being overly dramatic if I say that it probably saved my life.
A little over a year ago, they came back from a holiday in Australia with a clear sense that God was calling them to help plant a church in Sydney.

When I picked up this short booklet, my interest was piqued. However, I was also somewhat sceptical of how the subject of polyamory or consensual non-monogamy (where “all parties agree that the relationship is not exclusive”) might impact me, my church and the ministry of TFT. By the time I’d finished reading the booklet, it had certainly made me sit up and take note.

One thing that compounds any pain is the feeling that one is alone, abandoned, that there is no one else who understands. This sense of isolation and being unseen, cut off, is the very essence of what it means to feel lonely. However, one of things that has helped me personally to get up off the floor of my deepest moments of loneliness is the reminder that I am not the only person who has felt alone.

I have a plaque in my kitchen given by a friend with the quote: “Friendship is like sunshine, it keeps us warm and helps us grow.” Certainly, friendship has been described as many things, from a garden of flowers, to chocolates, to a ship believe it or not! (“There are big ships and small ships but the best ship of them all is friendship” - Anon.)

TFT: What it was like for you growing up, Malcolm?